Spite Diet Update

05 Monday Jun 2023

Posted by in Beauty and Body, The Spite Diet

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More like a restart

Let’s Be Honest

I’ve let myself go. Mostly go off the rails. I stopped trying. Mostly because of a combination of laziness, depression, anxiety, and exhaustion. Packing my lunch and meal prepping takes up time that I could be laying in the bed. Or you know the thing I never do: being productive.

I stopped tracking my meals, my water intake. I stopped meal prepping and caring. It didn’t help that I got really sick of some of the things I was eating.

But I’m trying to get back at it.

What I’m Doing

Breakfast: I’ve started drinking my OatsOvernight again. I stopped because I got really tired of the same texture over and over again. Not the flavor, that was not the problem. The cold, liquid, lumpy, texture of oats does get old after a while.

I switched over to protein shakes and bars for a while, but those are expensive. I have also found my least favorite protein bar.

Absolutely NOT NO THANK YOU

Also, the Oats get automatically delivered as I am subscribed and I don’t want them to expire before I use them. They cost money.

Lunch: On days I work my lunch is usually the same, when I pack it. Black Forest ham, provolone cheese, spinach, and a little mayonnaise on a whole wheat wrap. Some zesty ranch veggie straws and carrots dipped in ranch dressing.

At home I don’t really eat lunch and breakfast is lasted in the day. Thats usually whole wheat toast with peanut butter and cinnamon and sugar. Today I added bananas.

But then there’s my guilty pleasure that I only have once or twice a week. My version of iced coffee. I use my Keurig to brew 8 ounces of great value triple chocolate coffee, I put it in the freezer to chill. Once it’s cool I add two-ish tablespoons of French vanilla syrup (which I may or may not have gotten four bottle of from a random stranger in the parking lot), about 8oz of vanilla almost milk, two scoops of ice. I dump all that in a 40oz insulated tumbler and sip on it basically all day.

Fun fact: coffee supposedly doesn’t have enough nutritional value to warrant a label. Not even a caffeine content label. Go figure.

Dinner: usually whatever is already being made, or if I’m feeling fancy I cook for myself. I don’t do enough of that.

I also take a Weight Management gummy every night. I don’t know if it’s making a difference but I’m almost through my second bottle so, there’s that.

What I Hate.

Tracking My Meals: Why? Because it’s time consuming. It’s a tedious process that seems unproductive, and a waste. Plus, how are you supposed to accurately track home cooked meals, especially those cooked by someone who you feel weird asking, “hey, what’s in this? You know, so I can tell the little gremlin living in my phone.”

Meal prep: the reason why I eat the same lunch every single work day. It’s easy. I’ve made it a million times and could probably do it with my eyes closed.

Aftermath: I can’t help but be reminded that if I lose a significant amount of weight, I’m gonna hate all that lose flabby skin. And I can’t afford surgery. I already hate my body, I’ll hate it even more if I’m looking at that when I remove my clothes.

Why I’m Trying

Yeah, I quit on it for a little bit. Quit trying, quit wanting to do it. Quit making effort. But I’m back at it, with baby steps. But why?

Because I liked the feeling of hitting a goal. Because I like the idea of feeling better one day. No, I haven’t noticed any physical changes, except my pants are a little bigger, my boobs are a little smaller, and my wedding rings are just a little too loose to wear anymore.

And honestly I refuse to buy new pants. Or rings. Or anything but sports bras.

But the notion that one day it might not hurt so much to walk around (the damage is already done it’s not gonna make a difference), or that one day the Velcro strap I use to cinch my jeans a little tighter will be useless, well, those things make me want to keep going. That and possibly increasing my life span, to be around longer for the kid (the only reason to linger).

The ring thing and bra thing, well, I’d rather not loose too much in that department.

I’m back I guess?
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Sticker Making is An Art

27 Thursday Apr 2023

Posted by in My Life is a Dumpster Fire, Non-Fiction

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And I’m no artist.

I’ve recently started making stickers. It requires… a lot. One of the most important things?

Which I do not have. I cannot draw. I can’t. I don’t care what anyone says. I can’t. Most of the things I’ve done have been traced in some form. Case in point:

Okay, not this one.
Or this one.
Not this one either.
The font was added. I didn’t trace the flowers.
This is literally a picture of my hand. And I added outline.
Also no tracing.

Okay that gallery is not an accurate representation of my tracing prowess. But the moose is. I’ll show the moose.

It’s a thing…

This moose silhouette was traced from a screenshot of multiple moose silhouettes. I added the screenshot into Procreate, created a transparent layer over it, picked a brush, increased streamline and stabilization and traced it. It’s not exact as I didn’t take pains. Then I just autofilled with black. Easy peasy.

Simply put:

While there is *some* regret, there’s zero remorse. It does feel a little like stealing, piggybacking off someone else’s work, so to speak. I am not broken up about it.

Mostly because I feel like I’m wasting my time and energy, because I won’t make anything off any of the stickers I make. The kid has made more money off hers.

Which, good for her I’m not mad.

But if I were charging, properly, for the work I do, taking into account the effort I put into it, I’d be charging more than $2 a sticker.

Consider the moose. Let’s pretend he (his name is Clive, obvi) was a commission. A commission for which I charged for my time and the actual physical sticker. Let’s say I charged a dollar an hour for the work, plus the sticker. I’ve worked on this dude for a couple hours minimum. And if the price point of the sticker itself was still $2. I’d be charging $4 at least for the commission.

Granted, he’s a digital file and there’s an unlimited amount I can make off a digital file. I can print it over and over.

The set price of $2 (for all my stickers for sale on the site) was determined after The Hubs helped me “math” the cost of materials (this did not include the brand new printer). I have to sale, like ten stickers to make the money back from the sticker paper an laminate I put over it.

This ain’t no side hustle.

It is the opposite of a side hustle. It’s a side reluctance (I googled the opposite of hustle). You make money off a side hustle. You enjoy a side hustle. You’re good at a side hustle. I am

Let’s be honest.

Between the hours of 5:30pm and 11pm (my bedtime—it should be earlier) I should be left alone. By left alone I mean no outside contact, no internet, no doom scrolling said internet. No communication. I need to either read or sleep.

This is because, it seems, right around 5:30-6:00 i slowly float away into what feels like a depressive state. I think about how I’m not very good at everything and I don’t have any friends. I remember that I’m a bad daughter to a father, a bad sister, and I’ve broken promises.

I remember that I’m a failure: I graduated college but I work retail. I’ve tried to write the same story for going on a year and four months.

Seriously though, I scrolled all the way back.

I remember all these things that remind me that I’m not what I could have been.

Ignore this entire post.

I’m tried, I’ve gotta work in the morning, and I still need to clean off my bed. Goodnight.

The background image to this was taken from the nasa website. They post free photos of the day. NASA is good people.

Sticker Making is An Art

27 Thursday Apr 2023

Posted by in My Life is a Dumpster Fire, Non-Fiction

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And I’m no artist.

I’ve recently started making stickers. It requires… a lot. One of the most important things?

Which I do not have. I cannot draw. I can’t. I don’t care what anyone says. I can’t. Most of the things I’ve done have been traced in some form. Case in point:

Okay, not this one.
Or this one.
Not this one either.
The font was added. I didn’t trace the flowers.
This is literally a picture of my hand. And I added outline.
Also no tracing.

Okay that gallery is not an accurate representation of my tracing prowess. But the moose is. I’ll show the moose.

It’s a thing…

This moose silhouette was traced from a screenshot of multiple moose silhouettes. I added the screenshot into Procreate, created a transparent layer over it, picked a brush, increased streamline and stabilization and traced it. It’s not exact as I didn’t take pains. Then I just autofilled with black. Easy peasy.

Simply put:

While there is *some* regret, there’s zero remorse. It does feel a little like stealing, piggybacking off someone else’s work, so to speak. I am not broken up about it.

Mostly because I feel like I’m wasting my time and energy, because I won’t make anything off any of the stickers I make. The kid has made more money off hers.

Which, good for her I’m not mad.

But if I were charging, properly, for the work I do, taking into account the effort I put into it, I’d be charging more than $2 a sticker.

Consider the moose. Let’s pretend he (his name is Clive, obvi) was a commission. A commission for which I charged for my time and the actual physical sticker. Let’s say I charged a dollar an hour for the work, plus the sticker. I’ve worked on this dude for a couple hours minimum. And if the price point of the sticker itself was still $2. I’d be charging $4 at least for the commission.

Granted, he’s a digital file and there’s an unlimited amount I can make off a digital file. I can print it over and over.

The set price of $2 (for all my stickers for sale on the site) was determined after The Hubs helped me “math” the cost of materials (this did not include the brand new printer). I have to sale, like ten stickers to make the money back from the sticker paper an laminate I put over it.

This ain’t no side hustle.

It is the opposite of a side hustle. It’s a side reluctance (I googled the opposite of hustle). You make money off a side hustle. You enjoy a side hustle. You’re good at a side hustle. I am

Let’s be honest.

Between the hours of 5:30pm and 11pm (my bedtime—it should be earlier) I should be left alone. By left alone I mean no outside contact, no internet, no doom scrolling said internet. No communication. I need to either read or sleep.

This is because, it seems, right around 5:30-6:00 i slowly float away into what feels like a depressive state. I think about how I’m not very good at everything and I don’t have any friends. I remember that I’m a bad daughter to a father, a bad sister, and I’ve broken promises.

I remember that I’m a failure: I graduated college but I work retail. I’ve tried to write the same story for going on a year and four months.

Seriously though, I scrolled all the way back.

I remember all these things that remind me that I’m not what I could have been.

Ignore this entire post.

I’m tried, I’ve gotta work in the morning, and I still need to clean off my bed. Goodnight.

The background image to this was taken from the nasa website. They post free photos of the day. NASA is good people.

The Hidden Costs of Buying a New iPad

25 Tuesday Apr 2023

Posted by in Non-Fiction

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Nearly five years ago, not long after my mother died, I went through a spending spree. Basically, I used buying things as a really bad coping mechanism.

Now, it’s true that I did “need” a new one. The one I was using, an iPad mini, was several years old and had a crack in the screen (I think that happened when I had it it’s been a while). And my very young child had it more than I did.

And apple had a payment plan that I didn’t know WAS A CREDIT CARD until after the fact.

But it was at that time, after my mom died, that I got that credit card and put a new iPad and Apple Pencil on it. Without ever having the card in my hand.

Now, five years on and this iPad’s 32 GIG brain has run out of space for new stuff.

Now, initially I was going to just buy a new case.

This is the case.

But then I remembered how, when I tried to transfer videos from the iPad into the VideoLeap app in order to edit (such as the next drawing challenge video) it would warn me it didn’t have enough space. I’d have to go in and delete and clear as much space as possible to make this happen, even though I would be deleting videos once I was done.

Anyway, I told myself that I’d buy a new iPad, through my phone company, once I got my phone and Apple Watch paid off (I’m only just remembering wanting to go through my cell company because I was gonna get a data plan, what convenient timing).

But instead of waiting I managed to convince myself that I needed to buy one today. Yes. Today. Did I have almost $600 just lying around. Heck no. But I did have easy access to a monthly payment/loan style of “buy now pay later”. I’ve used it three times now, why not four?

So I did. And the buyer’s remorse kicked in fast.

The Hidden Costs

When you buy a new iPad, a ver expensive piece of technology, you want to protect it. So, oops, gotta get a case. At the time of purchase I was told the only case they had to fit it was a $70 Otter Box case. While very protective, I’m not that stupid. I mean. I’m stupid, clearly. But that’s well beyond.

I quickly found and ordered a new case and paper-like screen protector on Amazon. But it wouldn’t arrive for over a week (The Hubs cancelled Prime and I wasn’t paying $15.99 shipping). My first thought is “well, I’m not taking this out the box until the case arrives.” But I happened to look, and lo and behold, they had a $15 case. It wasn’t pretty purple like the one I ordered but it’ll keep her safe until the pretty one arrives. This order totaled $30.

Of course it’s purple
I like it to feel like I’m writing in expensive paper.

I get home and release the new iPad from its cardboard prison, and begin setting it up. I don’t want to get rid of the old iPad right away, as I have projects on it I don’t think I can transfer over, so I don’t use that method to set up the new one.

I get to the number one priority, my Apple Pencil. Now, I use my Apple Pencil, first generation, a lot. I need it on my iPad. So, I go to connect it, and remember the first thing I noticed about the new iPad. It charges with USB-C. Unlike all the other apple devices I own, including, you guessed it, the Apple Pencil.

Now see, friends, I forgot that the Apple Pencil required being plugged into the device to connect. After it’s plugged in it will auto-connect via Bluetooth. But initially I remembered that it connects via Bluetooth. And it was only when iPad didn’t pick it up did I realize this.

So I googled and it told me that I could buy a USB-C to lightening (apple) cord and used the adapter that came with the pencil to connect. So I drove to the store, and paid $18 for a cord (also some sweet new sunglasses).

Came back home and connected it. No dice.

More Google told me that first generation Apple Pencil and Fifth Generation iPad air (the new iPad obviously) ARE. NOT. COMPATIBLE. And so, buyer’s remorse has turned into buyer’s anger. Because I’m to dumb to thing that far ahead and make sure the new guy and the old guy get along.

So clearly the only logical options for me here are to A: return the iPad completely and save myself $40 a month over a term of 24 months, or buy a new second generation Apple Pencil. No, it didn’t occur to me until now that I could go and buy the same off brand pencil style stylus that my child got for Christmas for her iPad.

It actually works great and she loves it.

See, the thing is, if I had known this incompatibility information when I was purchasing the iPad, I would have just got the pencil on loan too. Because, again, I don’t have that kind of kind of money lying around.

TLDR

Crystal is a dummy.

Also I think my back is gonna go out. Again.

Steps to Completion: Drawing Challenge

24 Monday Apr 2023

Posted by in Arts & Crafts, drawing challenge

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In an effort to improve my drawing skill, of which I have none, I started a drawing challenge.

I visit Random Generator’s Random Things to Draw. The first drawing challenge I used the first image that came up. It was a sunflower. I feel pretty good about the results. I screen recorded the drawing process and made a video, which I posted on my YouTube Channel.

The first.

At the end of that video, I shared three options for the next drawing challenge. And of course the one and only person who ever comments on any of my YT videos chose the next Drawing Challenge subject.

TLDR

Long story short I’m in the middle of the fourth one of these, and the soul reason I’m doing it is because she wants me too. Am I a good aunt or what? So here’s a list of steps to completing a drawing challenge from start to finish.

Drawing Challenge

  • Have niece choose next subject.
  • Contemplate not doing it
  • Open safari and Google subject (ie: sword)
  • Look at pics of swords
  • Ask a question my Facebook which no one will answer
  • Get really good ideas
  • Don’t draw anything for at least a month
  • Remember you need to work on it every day for said month
  • Open Procreate, regret life choices.
  • Draw… something.
  • Start over
  • Cheat. Just a little (take the lazy way out. Not cheat on your significant other that’s wrong)
  • Doubt yourself. It’s part of the process.
  • Put on a podcast and eventually zone out while working, complete forgetting to record.
  • Don’t work on it for a month. Minimum.
  • Niece keeps asking about it. Make up excuses.
  • Wallow in self pity. Everything is going wrong, you’ll suck at this too.
  • Schedule a time to work on the thing. Make yourself do it.
  • Actually work on it, manage to finish the drawing fairly happy with it. Don’t look at it too hard though, you’ll find the flaws.
  • Put all videos in a folder on iPad so they’re in one place and easily accessible. This is responsible. Remember not to delete the videos until everything is complete. Trust me on this. I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE.
  • Create Video intro: basically just update the last one to the number of the challenge and subject. Upload to VideoLeap app.
  • Upload videos. Probably one at a time since your iPad is five years old and has to think about it for a minute.
  • Edit videos for length and content. We don’t want a 30 minute video.
  • After editing is complete, research and write script for voiceover.
  • Record voice over
  • Add background music where needed. Note title and artist. (You will get copyrighted, but the video won’t get taken down. At least they haven’t yet.)
  • Remember: don’t touch anything. If you add in stuff then change the video, YOU. WILL. HAVE. TO. MOVE. EVERYTHING. AGAIN.
  • Once you think you are done watch it through. AGAIN.
  • When you’re finally happy or just content or about to throw the iPad across the room with vigor, upload to the ‘Tubes.
  • Schedule it to premier so The Niece has a countdown to watch.
  • Profit. Wait.

The editing process will take several hours, if not days. I’ve gotten migraines. I’d hate to be a popular creator and have to have quality videos.

Honestly I dread it.

Sunday Spotlight: Chris Ramsay

23 Sunday Apr 2023

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Sunday Spotlight

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I attempted to start this weekly thing a few years ago and didn’t have the following to get it off the ground. I still don’t but here we go. But it’s not up and coming creators and artists it’s already established ones.

Since the practically meteoric rise of the social media platform that sounds like a refreshing breath mint, I’ve noticed many of my favorite YouTube Creators have lost the views they have been used to getting. I firmly believe it’s this other social media website’s catering to a world’s ADHD tendencies that has created this issue.

So I decided I’m going to spotlight these creators, regardless of my lack of following or influence. There are conditions. These creators aren’t going to be the biggest names in the biz. No Mr. Beast or Sepsis’s Eyeball or Cut the Pie or whoever. These will be creators that craft, or make you think, or teach you something. Creators that work for your views.

This week’s Spotlight is on a YouTube Creator named Chris Ramsay.

Chris Ramsay

Chris Ramsay is a Canadian slight of hand artist/magician/ and puzzle, uh, guy? Puzzler? The Puzzler. Sounds like a Batman villain. Lol wait there’s a video.

See?

He also commissions puzzles, has his own line of merch, decks of cards, escape room puzzle, the list goes on. The dude also spend what cannot be a small chunk of change creating his own studio/workplace to create in that honestly looks like the coolest place to work ever.

I first came across him three years ago, I think. YouTube recommended me one of his puzzle solving videos. And the puzzles have gotten even more complex as the years have gone on.

One of the most important things to note is the intros. He and his team can create absolutely stunning, movie quality puzzle intros. Like, if they do not one day make a full length movie with the skills and equipment they possess it will be a disservice to the world.

I enjoy watching him solve puzzles because I would never have the patience to finish one without throwing it, or taking it apart. Some of the puzzles he solves are absolutely so elaborate and expensive that I’ll never lay hands on him. So I’ll live vicariously through his videos.

He also has an entire series (there’s a playlist) of “future me” puzzles, where he received a message from his future self and he has to solve the puzzle.

And I cannot forget the entire escape room he had built just to solve with his buddy Wes Barker.

Like I said, though. He’s not just puzzles. He does magic too.

He managed to snag a small role in the movie Spiral with Chris Rock, because of his magic.

He does videos reacting to people doing magic, he teaches card tricks, which to be honest I’ll never be able to do, and shows magic tricks.

Chris as a few other channels as well, Chris Ramsey TV, where he plays escape room games and Bottom of the Barrel a podcast channel with Wes Barker.

Chris’ most recent video was one where he honestly and vulnerably shared how the change in engagement on his channel(s) has been affecting him. And considering the movie quality level of his videos, how hard they have to work, and the money spent on them, it’s understandable.

Understandably Chris is taking a break right now. But I highly recommend checking out is videos on YouTube and Instagram, and his website!

“Hot Dang!” -Chris Ramsay