You Don’t Need… (1)

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Facebook (and Social Media)

Hello and welcome to article (episode, chapter, part? Still working on it) one of “You Don’t Need…” advice, life “hacks”, tips, and anecdotes from the world’s least qualified person.

Sometimes I pick up my phone with the intention of doing something completely different and my fingertip automatically goes to Facebook. I think in Facebook posts. I wake up in the mornings thinking about how to word that dream I just had in order to better catch a reader’s attention.

Okay that last bit might actually be a writer thing. But still. My life seems to revolve around posting, liking, commenting, refreshing, scrolling, and watching on Facebook. I have other social media accounts. But none quite so used as Facebook.

And unless you’re an “influencer” or someone who legitimately makes a living off of social media–this includes YouTubers and “inspirational” people–you don’t need Facebook.

In the current political climate, the recent pandemic fears, and other societal topics and issues swirling around the internet these days, Facebook has become a way for people to share and therefor (either intentionally or not) offend, pander, and cause fear.

Not to mention the numerous scams and outdated articles.

What was once a place to connect with old and new friends, reach out to family, and share interests via things like groups, has become what some might say is an unhealthy place.

You don’t need Facebook. You can keep in touch with people with phone calls, letter writing, greeting cards, getting together in person, smoke signals, carrier pigeons…

While Facebook is a great way to keep in touch, with all the stuff there we don’t want to see, our abilities to communicate get clouded. Just like commercials turning a 60 minute time slot into 40 minutes of actual show, a timeline filled with politics, fraud, hate, and “like if you love Jesus, ignore if you love the devil” (a personal favorite #sarcasm), makes catching up or keeping up an annoyingly frustrating process.

And yes, I’ve shared my share of recipe videos, news articles and Stop ClickBait posts, and sure, “Meme up, Scotty.” But for me, Facebook is slowly becoming more annoying.

You don’t need Facebook. But that’s just my opinion. You don’t have to listen.

-C

PS: Speaking if Facebook, check me out here!

It only took two years

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And I honestly wouldn’t have known had we not taken my child to the doctor.

I Wish It’d Been Longer

Two days ago, Wednesday, one of my days off of my day job, The Kid woke up sounding mildly stuffy and needing to clear her throat here and there. This isn’t always unusual, as she has allergy issues.

I myself have been sick for what feels like four straight weeks now. My symptoms have included what mostly just feels like my typical head cold. Then one morning a week ago or so, I woke up with a sore throat I couldn’t shake.

These things are KILLER for a sore throat. And they don’t taste terrible!

Now, I’ve tried extremely hard to not give whatever crud I had to my child’s. But when the sore throat rolled up, I assumed it was strep and that I had to be super serious.

But that morning she was stuffy and hoarse, she had NTI day for school. For the uninitiated that’s “Non-Traditional Day” for when in-person is cancelled. Like for weather. And during that, she asked for a blanket.

She NEVER asks for a blanket. When it was over she took said blanket and crawled back in bed. She spent hours there watching YouTube. And this child who prefers to live in her underpants, did not remove even her socks.

So, I messaged her dad and mentioned this. Initially I was going to give it a day. I’d felt like garbage and didn’t want to leave the house. But when I realized she might feel cold because of a fever, I decided we needed to get her in.

They symptoms we have the doctor office here vague. Slight fever, runny nose, clearing her throat and coughing. And she was lethargic. So they asked if we wanted to do a covid test. Just in case.

It was easier than I thought it’d be—none of the three of us had been tested—and it only took a second. But she has some anxiety issues, so it was stressful.

Please note: my husband and I have both been vaccinated. I had Moderna, and he had Johnson & Johnson. We are still nervous about the vaccine for our less that ten year old. I don’t think I’m on the fence anymore.

But in less that ten minutes they were back in the room confirming that she had covid. Which meant that I probably gave it to her, as I’d been sick for a while. And her dad had just started developing symptoms.

COVID-19

Or “Name Brand” Crud(TM)

Luckily, none of us have had any issues breathing. The Hubs does have asthma and allergy issues, which are under control with medication. The kid takes an OTC allergy med.

I tested positive later that evening. The hubby hasn’t taken a test yet but, I mean, duh. We’ve been quarantined since that (Wednesday) evening, and I only get five days of leave (despite the health department telling us to quarantine for seven).

So far, out of the three of us, The Kid seems to be feeling the best. She had the fever, stuffy/runny nose, and cough. She hasn’t complained of any other issues. The fever was done with her that night, and wanted to play made-up games (tiny boxing?!) with me just a few hours ago.

The Hubs seems to be stuffy with a cough. He hasn’t mentioned any other symptoms as of yet. Headache I think.

Me? Oh I still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. Have since the first week of January. But I feel like the truck is slightly smaller today. My throat is less sore than it was, but it usually worsens at night (I’m about to go to bed). Still coughing and my ears hurt and my head hurts if I’m not careful. Oh and I’m dizzy.

The Issue

If my child hadn’t gotten sick, that tiny change in normalcy for her, I wouldn’t have assumed I had covid. I wouldn’t have gotten tested. I assumed I had a persistent head cold/sinus infection/strep. Usually when I get sick, really sick, not just allergies, I stay sick until my body decides, “okay fine you’ve suffered enough”.

Is it because I’m too lazy to see a doctor? Probably.

Is it because I have anxiety about going places I don’t usually go? Probably.

Is it because I think: “I’ll be fine eventually”? Probably.

Is it because I am a woman and like all the women before me I inherently believe that I’ve got too much to do to give in to being sick and I’ll just have to work through it? More than likely.

My mother had four children. All born within four years. She didn’t take a lot of time out for herself, even when she was sick. She waiting until her children were grown to take care of herself and by then it was too late to turn her health around in a positive way.

If I hadn’t taken the time to listen to my kid and see that yes she was sick, I would have went right back to work the next day, taking all manner of over-the-counter meds for cold and flu (and that ten month old bottle of antibiotics my husband hadn’t touched last April). I would have also bought all kinds of OTC meds for her (thank BOB she doesn’t mind the Sudafed liquid the doctor recommended).

Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Feel Terrible

I brought covid into my home. I gave it to my child. I gave it to my husband. I was afraid for a moment I gave it to my sister and her family. They all tested negative this time (they had it in August, I happily executed multiple socially distanced “Operation Dumbo Drop” missions to their driveway for supplies).

All I can do at this stage is be thankful that my child, who is a sturdy, strong soul, hasn’t had any worse symptoms. She has gotten to sleep in my bed two nights (after about forty in her own), so she’s definitely not complaining.

The Hubs, well, he hasn’t complained much yet. He knew I’d been feeling like “hot stinking garbage” for a while, so I think he doesn’t want to rain on my pity party. But we check in on each other but make The Kid our priority.

Thank you

To all those people who have checked up on us since learning we were infected, offered to do a porch drop off (we don’t need anything. I just want Pepsi and peanut m&ms). And just generally wanted to make sure The Kid was okay (she’s number one). We appreciate all the kindness.


Thanks for reading!

-c

TBT: That Time I Caught a Bird

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Ah. Many moons ago, I wore a yellow vest for my current employer and there was a bird.

I’ve always had a soft spot for birds (except for blue jays they’re jerks). I’ve always wanted a pet bird. If only I had the time.

Several years ago (check the post for when) there was a small bird of I know species (I still don’t know) that managed to make its way inside my place of employment.

It’s been in there so long that it was pretty exhausted. We are technically told not to touch them (germs and all), and they’ll either find their way out or else. Sweethearts we are.

Well this was an interesting experience for me, and it’s something that will remain a positive memory for me. I thought I’d share with you.

You know. Again.

Also there was a young hawk in the building once.

Thanks for reading!

-c

Fiction Friday: Quick Fic

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Going to try to make this a habit. But I’m not making any promises. We know how I do.
Created using Canva

The fog was so thick you could practically cut it with a knife. Normal lights afforded you some visibility but brights turned the fog into a bright white wall of nothing that followed five feet in front of you as you drove.

So I kept my driving lights on avoiding brights despite my desire to improve visibility. The still lingering clouds turned what should have been early morning light into darkness, at least what I could tell through the fog.

Once in a while I passed a street light. It illuminated the rock wall, guardrails, and pavement. But it’s light couldn’t pierce further than the small area below it.

It had been raining for days, sometimes a drizzle sometimes a mist. But mostly just a downpour so heavy your wipers couldn’t keep up. But it had stopped long enough for there to be a few dry patches here and there.

There weren’t many other vehicles on the road aside from mine. As early as it was, on the weekend nonetheless, no one in their right mind would be out if they didn’t have to be. I would have much preferred a warm bed as opposed to a long dark damp road.

No, one wouldn’t expect another soul to be on these roads. but here I was traveling unhappily to work. I was admittedly tired, a little distracted by the thought of all I had to do. That and the fog was why I didn’t see it at first.

I’d been looking at the road ahead, as one should, and I glanced down for a moment to check my speed. It was that split second it took my mind to register what I’d seen, and look back up that startled me.

It’d been much further when I first saw it. A dark figure in the foggy distance. Backlit by a streetlight, just enough to make out a vaguely human shape. And it stood in the middle of the road.

I slammed on the breaks, the truck tires squealing on the asphalt, a wet spot on the road caused slight fishtailing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and opened them.

I expected to see whatever it was bathed in the glow of my headlights, or worse, splayed across the hood of my truck, despite hearing no sound of the sort. But instead, I saw nothing.

I blinked a few times, rubbed the sleep from my eyelids, and squinted into the thick fog.

There it was. Further ahead than where I’d imaged, despite the distance I’d traveled. It was as if it’d leapt ahead of me. But it was still there. Lingering.

I took a deep breath, composed myself, then let off the breaks and hit the gas, slower this time. I kept an eye on the road and an eye on the thing in front. As I drove it seems to remain just at the edge of the fog, as if it were moving along with me.

So I tested it. I picked up speed, so did it. When I slowed, it did too. And unlike most objects, when you were moving toward it in the distance that “grew” in size as you got closer, this did not. It remained the same size.

I slowed to a complete stop in the middle of the road, staring at it. I knew I only had about another mile and a half until I reached my destination, with one turn off. Until this point it has been a relatively straight stretch.

So I floored it.

I didn’t even think about it when I did it. Just put my foot in the gas abs gave it my all. The revved and the tires squealed again as I peeled out.

I wanted to see it move. To catch up with it. Wanted it to get bigger as I got closer. It did nothing. Until I looked away.

A porch light had come on, perhaps awoken by the roaring of my engine and squealing of tires and I glanced quickly toward the light, my attention drawn, and then back.

And there it was, ten feet in front of me, still black as nothingness, still backlit by… nothing.

I slammed on the brakes once again, almost locking them up, jerking the truck to a sudden stop. I should have been within feet of hitting it—had I wanted to hit it?—but when I opened my eyes, it was gone again.

I looked for it ahead of me. It had been maintaining its position in the middle of the road, this time when it leapt ahead it had practically flown away. I did not see it go, nor where it might have went. But it was gone.

People were looking out their windows now. I’d made it into downtown without realizing it. My abnormally reckless driving had woken some residents from their dreary morning slumber. And it had begun to look like morning. Sunlight was peaking trough breaks in clouds.

Perhaps the rain was done. Perhaps the sun would come out today. Perhaps the dark figure looming ahead had left to confuse and bewilder another unfortunate soul.

Either way, I was going to be late.


Thanks for reading!

-C


If you liked this, you might like this one too!

I have officially been dealing with whatever thing has crawled into my sinus cavity and made itself at home for a week.

I woke up last Wednesday with a head cold or what felt like multiple gremlins squished between my brain and my eyeballs. Every night they roll to whatever side I choose to sleep on and plug up that nostril until I cannot fathom smothering or mouth breathing any longer. That’s when I roll over, and then they too roll over and slowly plug that side up

I can walk around all day at work with my feet, knees, hips, and back hurting. I can climb up and down a ladder all day. I can run circles around my workplace all the while wanting to chop my feet off.

But whatever is happening in my sinuses right now is a fresh hell I cannot take. I LOATHE having a head cold.

And then yesterday I woke up with a migraine. The pressure from the chaos in my sinus had gotten to me and my entire head ached. If I moved too fast, bent down for too long or leaned my head forward it worsened. I had two different kinds of meds and they made no dent. I left work two hours early, came home, took more different meds (including a pill for dizziness) and slept. Like, two hours.

I woke with some residual pain. But today I haven’t needed anything for pain. Of course I should have slept some more today, but I had to go early for some blood work and urinalysis. So hopefully that’ll come back fine.

Anywho, my sleepy time medicine is kicking in (yay melatonin) and I’m typing with one eye open. Goodnight!

Thanks for Reading

-c

I bet I can’t drink 64 oz of water in one day

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See what I did there? Cause I know I can’t?

Part of my “resolutions” for 2022 is to take better care of myself. Had I resolved to and achieved this goal a decade ago I would be in a lot better place. Obviously.

But I didn’t and here we are, with blog content.

It’s always been important to me to live long enough to see my child into adult years. And the kid is still in the single digit age range, and I am nearing the 4th decade of my life, I’m due for a reboot.

Today I saw a doctor. I didn’t just see him from a distance or happen upon him in the wild. Nay Nay. I braved the public and met him intentionally at his place of business. To seek medical care.

Nay Nay

-Bailey Sarian

Well, in all honesty it was to ask for some anxiety medicine because, I’ll go into that someday.

I did come out of his office with a refill on my heart meds and the knowledge that it’s not just caffeine that can spike heart issues but SUGAR as well. All these years and I’ve only been told to avoid caffeine! No sugar?! Lort, I’m gonna need antidepressants too!

Anyway, I told him all the reasons why I love my child I mean why I am having anxiety issues. I should have said something along the lines of “this morning when my husband didn’t message me back for less that 2 hours I assumed automatically that he had died in a horrible accounting accident and not that, in reality, the five texts that I’d sent him had simply not come through.

Or that when my child sleeps soundly through the night and doesn’t not wake to come into my room that she has somehow died in her sleep and I fear even walking into her room to prove to myself that no, she can in fact sleep all night in her own bed, which she has done multiple times through the past month.

My dude didn’t want to prescribe anything yet, since I did say one of the main sources of my anxiety has improved (currently, don’t jinx it). He said if I still think I need it to come back.

Of course I’ll have to fed the vampire and apparently there’s a pee monster somewhere (bloodwork and urinalysis for those that truly believe I’m nuts)(I am actually but not that bad).

I was afraid this one was gonna be one of those doctors that’d give you whatever you wanted and that’s not good. But he seems like a good one so far. He’s very chatty. I know his wife likes LaCroix and he has two kids, one is a 9 week old boy. He also knows one of my kid’s principals.

But the last doctor I liked and trusted up and left without saying anything and I grew up with that guy!

Oh well. We’ll see how this goes. I’m gonna drink a lot of water tomorrow. Goodnight!

Thanks for reading!

-c


Not European. But I’m a peein’. Get it? Cause all the water?

My husband laughed.

Happy First Day of 2022

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I hope everyone’s 2022 is as amazing as I was hopeful when I bought my domain name!

Fat lot of good it did me

Hope everyone toasted to the life of THE Golden Girl, Betty White. The world is a little more golden because you were in it and will be less so now that you’re gone.

Starting in 2022 I plan of blogging every day! Lort knows what kind of nonsense you’ll be dealing with but I hope it’s not utter chaos!

One of my goals this year is to sell this STUPID SET

Looks better in person 🤷‍♀️

If I don’t sell it I’m going to make a video of me taking it apart. Might as well reuse the pearls!

My “sleepy time medicine” aka melatonin is kicking in. That and the lack of sleep the night before, the full day of work, and the building of a wonky dresser have taken me out!

But I’m off Monday, the kid is back in school Monday, and I’m gonna power nap before my doctor appointment! Goodnight fellers!


Thanks for reading!

-c


If you have any ideas for what you’d like to see or read leave me a comment. Hopefully there’ll be fiction too!

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It has been 18 days since I logged out of Facebook.

I received an email attempting to lure me back.

90 notifications lol

I logged out for multiple reasons. The biggest one being that I had relied too much on the potential of what it COULD give me in spite of what I wasn’t getting.

The frequency with which I was “thinking in Facebook posts” in order to get a reaction or response, the fact that I got more feedback from my dreams than serious posts.

And even worse, starting to make a comment on someone else’s post, only to back off and not make it at all because I assumed that they wouldn’t care if I said anything at all.

But also, knowing that 90% of the people on my friends list wouldn’t likely speak to me in person if they saw me.

Social media of any kind is a method of attempting to receive validation from others that your existence has value and meaning in someone else’s life. Of course a lot of social media is people who have brand deals or sponsorships or some ware they are hocking. These individuals have already had their existence validated by society. Now they are paid to or are given free things as living advertisers.

We had a society want other human beings to do absolutely normal or even completely bizarre things for us to observe and comment on.

Positive or negative, no publicity it’s bad publicity.

Am I judging these people? Well, yes, certain ones if I’m being honest. Would I be perfectly thrilled with receiving something for free because I have it a good review one time? Yes. But I prefer cash.

Simple validation that my existence on planet earth and online meant even the most minuscule amount to literally anyone on Facebook made me feel good about myself. And the fact that it felt like I grew to need even the smallest amount of acknowledgment from anyone saddens me.

But most of the time I could go an entire fray of posting a range of things and get absolutely no response from anyone, and I would be heartbroken and assume that no one cared about me.

Simply put, my emotional instability was the opposite of helped by my constant need for attention and validation and acknowledgement via Facebook.

Also I watched way too many videos.

Have I quit social media completely? Lord no. I’m here aren’t I? But this website is my very poor way of trying to make myself know to the world as a writer/blogger/maker. I’ve been trying for a long time and get little acknowledgment and validation lol.

I also still randomly use Instagram and Twitter. Though I often forget about both and still get very little attention there. But I’m used to it.

I also have a dummy Facebook account where I post gibberish and use it to control the CrashdLanding Facebook page and Crash Landing Site Group. I’m too lazy to link them. (By too lazy I honestly mean I’m fighting a head cold, I’ve already had my medicine and my melatonin and I’m so tired my eyes are pointed in two different directions and I keep closing them and it takes me longer and longer to open them back up)

I also STILL watch too many videos.

This has gone on long enough and my tummy is upset from too much medicine on an empty stomach.

As always, thanks for reading (and validating my existence)

-c