The following is a post I made to my personal Facebook page. A friend had shared one of those “tag so-and-so, I’m looking for him” memes of an overweight person. The obvious fact that they were intending to make fun of or embarrass someone with an image of an overweight woman makes me wonder if they make fun of me, an overweight woman. It concerns me, as a person with feelings (go figure) if they feel the same about me.
Do you make fun of me because I’m fat? Do you look down on me, call me names, or laugh at me and my size when I’m not around? Are you better than me because you’re smaller?
You post pictures of overweight women and laugh at them.
I am an overweight woman.
If we are friends and you think “oh I don’t see you that way” but you still laugh at fat people, I think there’s some confusion there.
Don’t think that just because we know each other I’m not saddened/ashamed/embarrassed/depressed when I see you laughing at someone who is also obese.
I am by no means trying to (a)oppresses healthier people, (b)glorify overweight people, (c)make light of the health concerns of someone being overweight.
Believe me I am conscious of my weight, I see myself naked in the mirror and don’t like how I look. I know my health is at risk, I can literally feel it in my heart.
I don’t enjoy being fat, but I know that it’s part of who I am and will always be. I’m sure, when people think of me, “you know, the (fat/heavyset/overweight/rotund) girl with the glasses” has always been part of how I’m known. It’s hard to avoid when describing me, honestly.
I was fat when my husband met me, married me, made a baby with me. I might always be plus size (I refuse to let myself go further than 4x though) and he will love me anyway. And if he stops loving me, I bet a dollar it won’t be because I’m plush (yes. Plush. Nice).
But having to wonder if I’m looked down upon by people I like to hope are my friends, because I weigh more than my joints, muscles, and heart can handle, isn’t something I’m keen on. It’s been a very very long time since I’ve cried about being heavy. I used to be afraid that my weight kept me from having friends. Experience tells me it’s the people I was surrounded by and devastating shyness that did it.
But I am 32, talkative, friendly I’d like to think, and rather hilarious at times, I’ve made many more friends that I had in school. And I’ve been a fatty all my life. I don’t want to be afraid that people are being false friends because I’m fat.
I am fat. I’m heavy set, I’m voluptuous, I am rotund, I am plush, I am fluffy. These things are all part of who I am. Laughing at me, making fun of me, looking down on me, or disrespecting me (with or without my knowledge) would be the same as using my need for glasses, my red hair, and my green eyes as reasoning for the same.
If you don’t like me for those reasons, of you have a problem with fat people in general (a) please for the love of all that’s good in the world unfriend me and (b) take a quick look at yourself. I bet a dollar you’ll find something about you that you’d feel bad if someone made fun of.
I just want to be friends. But knowing a person laughs at people with a similar characteristic as myself, makes me wonder where I stand with them.
I did not direct this in any way to the individual who posted the image. I named no names made no hints (other than that they’re smaller in size than I. Which, let’s face it, narrows nothing down) I as to who did. Many have posted similar images.
I’m not fighting for social justice, I’m not bashing anyone’s freedom to post. I just wonder. They made fun of this woman. Do they laugh at me as well? If they do, I don’t need them.
Brittney Rochelle said:
You know, I had to make a wordpress blog for a class. I forgot I even had this. I found your post here. You’re fat. So am I. You are, obviously, larger (and taller too yeesh), than myself. We both could use some loss. We both know it. We both stand at our images with disdain. Mine still loves me and is honest with me about sometimes not finding me physically attractive and that’s OK. If these people make fun of you, they aren’t good friends that you would want to keep intimate. Today alone I got called a fatass and a “nice butt.” Who needs these people anyway.
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People suck. I realize with some things, like the images shared on Facebook, they’re not necessarily trying to make fun of the people in the images, but it still hurts.