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It has been 18 days since I logged out of Facebook.

I received an email attempting to lure me back.

90 notifications lol

I logged out for multiple reasons. The biggest one being that I had relied too much on the potential of what it COULD give me in spite of what I wasn’t getting.

The frequency with which I was “thinking in Facebook posts” in order to get a reaction or response, the fact that I got more feedback from my dreams than serious posts.

And even worse, starting to make a comment on someone else’s post, only to back off and not make it at all because I assumed that they wouldn’t care if I said anything at all.

But also, knowing that 90% of the people on my friends list wouldn’t likely speak to me in person if they saw me.

Social media of any kind is a method of attempting to receive validation from others that your existence has value and meaning in someone else’s life. Of course a lot of social media is people who have brand deals or sponsorships or some ware they are hocking. These individuals have already had their existence validated by society. Now they are paid to or are given free things as living advertisers.

We had a society want other human beings to do absolutely normal or even completely bizarre things for us to observe and comment on.

Positive or negative, no publicity it’s bad publicity.

Am I judging these people? Well, yes, certain ones if I’m being honest. Would I be perfectly thrilled with receiving something for free because I have it a good review one time? Yes. But I prefer cash.

Simple validation that my existence on planet earth and online meant even the most minuscule amount to literally anyone on Facebook made me feel good about myself. And the fact that it felt like I grew to need even the smallest amount of acknowledgment from anyone saddens me.

But most of the time I could go an entire fray of posting a range of things and get absolutely no response from anyone, and I would be heartbroken and assume that no one cared about me.

Simply put, my emotional instability was the opposite of helped by my constant need for attention and validation and acknowledgement via Facebook.

Also I watched way too many videos.

Have I quit social media completely? Lord no. I’m here aren’t I? But this website is my very poor way of trying to make myself know to the world as a writer/blogger/maker. I’ve been trying for a long time and get little acknowledgment and validation lol.

I also still randomly use Instagram and Twitter. Though I often forget about both and still get very little attention there. But I’m used to it.

I also have a dummy Facebook account where I post gibberish and use it to control the CrashdLanding Facebook page and Crash Landing Site Group. I’m too lazy to link them. (By too lazy I honestly mean I’m fighting a head cold, I’ve already had my medicine and my melatonin and I’m so tired my eyes are pointed in two different directions and I keep closing them and it takes me longer and longer to open them back up)

I also STILL watch too many videos.

This has gone on long enough and my tummy is upset from too much medicine on an empty stomach.

As always, thanks for reading (and validating my existence)

-c