Ten years ago, long before I had a kid and a consistent day schedule, I stayed up late at night to do crazy things like read, play The Sims, and write.

This was all also long before I had any sense. I mean I still don’t, but that’s besides the point.

I have had a rough could of weeks. Between trying to not get my hopes up about working in a classroom-no matter how hard I tried-to my truck stalling dead in the parent pickup line (the same line I decided to check job openings in). Then there was the realization that people much younger than me were creating careers for themselves (that’s my fault), feeling like I’m not good enough at work on a constant basis. Wondering if I matter at all to anyone one or if I’m just a bother. And we cannot forget how depressing it is paying a lot of money for something that is going no where *cough THIS WEBSITE cough*.

Then, three days ago, my tail light turn signal went out (yes the same truck). Now, I thought, “oh this’ll be easy! I’m a girl but I can figure stuff out! I changed a fuse in the thing to make my windshield washer fluid spray again, I can change a bulb in a tail light turn signal!”

I did what any strong, independent, woman who don’t need no man would do. I googled. I found the replacement bulb for my truck, I purchased it and then googled how to change it.

Welp.

I guess we all know where this is going.

Turns out the tail lights are “after market”. Which means, if you don’t know (and I’m probably wrong) a part or piece not original to the vehicle but made to fit. Or there about.

Anyway, the tail lights, which I now vaguely remember the dealer mentioning to me the day I bought it, are after market, which means the previous owners replaced them, for whatever reason with “upgraded” versions.

These do not have a bulb. These are LED. These have a taillight bulb (I assume that’s what it is) but the turn signal is not lit by a conventional bulb sold at your local big box retailer.

So, after all that has been going on around me, in my head, to me (and let’s be honest around the world) the stress was murdering me.

I promise I’ll get back to the story story in the beginning.

I figure, I’m gonna have to buy a whole new tail light assembly because I could not find a way to break in and change the LED lights in this thing. Aside from a hammer.

My very kind sister offered to have her husband (who does a lot for us including looking at our vehicles (mostly mine) every once in a while. Let’s just say I was a little mean to her and I feel terrible. I’ll get to why I feel worse later.

But anyway, I decided last night that I needed to stress play The Sims. I hadn’t played in a while and there was a house I needed to finish.

So I did what any strong, independent, woman who has depression and is on the verge of a mental breakdown (and is off the next day) would do.

I stayed up until roughly 3am building a house in Sims. This is no ordinary house. The first floor has a kitchen and dining area, a family room, a large patio to the side, and a formal living room. There’s also the elevator, full bathroom, entrance to “garage” and apartment above.

On the second floor there are four bedrooms, each with their own bathrooms. each are uniquely designed with specific interests in mind. The third floor is basically a master suite equipped with everything but a kitchen, I’m realizing now.

Oh and the unfinished basement/dungeon.

It really is my finest work. And my most expensive to date. Each private area has its own computer, there’s a nook between the formal living room and garage that I filled with flowers and plants so that the full picture windows had something pretty to look out at.

I got almost three hours of sleep before I had to get up to get The Kid ready for school, and I went back to sleep after they left. I slept til 10, got up had some food. And ended up taking a 40 minute nap before I had to take The Kid to a doctor appointment.

But guess what

Go ahead and guess.

No really. I’ll wait.

MY TAIL LIGHT TURN SIGNAL WORKS AGAIN. LORT KNOW HOW OR WHY OR FOR HOW LONG. But I’m not currently afraid of getting pulled over. Currently.

Well, I’m writing this with one she open as the other one is done for the night and won’t open. So I’m calling it.

Goodnight and thanks for reading. This one was a real mess.

-c