I can’t remember how often I have it set to remind me, because I ignore it most of the time.

But a few days ago I decided that enough was enough and I was gonna make a change. No. Not more blogging. Although I need to.

Between undiagnosed depression, being a parent, a full time job, and all the things I’ve expected of myself, and exhaustion from all those things combined, my home has suffered.

Yes, I can fix a broken kitchen drawer slide. Yes, I have installed a ceiling fan and a dishwasher, and most recently a doggy door (that last one almost made me lose my mind). I am a handy wife.

But I absolutely hate cleaning. It’s exhausting and never ending. And so, every single room in my home is a mess.

Surprise surprise, I am not a Blogger Mom. You see all these people with fancy beautiful spotless homes on the internet and YouTube and tiktok and they have clean homes and it’s absolutely depressing.

I’ve spent many a day stumbling through the house on my bad feet, wondering “if I trip and fall and break an ankle, and I have to call an ambulance, Will they report me and take my child away?” Or “if I die tomorrow, there’s going to be nothing but garbage and dirty laundry left of me.”

Maybe I could just fake a home invasion and robbery and “accidental arson”? No, wait, prison is bad.

I come home from work and think I need to clean. But it has become so overwhelming that it seems absolutely pointless. I’ve tried to just clean my room, the room I spend the most time in. But it seems that the mess grows back like dandelions after a rain storm on a freshly cut yard.

So I decided, two nights ago, that on my next day off from work (today), I was going to start small. The smallest room in my house, that I can move around in semi comfortable (so not the laundry room) is the bathroom.

In the bathroom is a floor carpeted with TP and laundry. The Kid stopped using her potty seat months and months ago, yet it’s still here.

The sink area is covered with fast food cups and beauty supplies. I have a drill in the floor.

Hey. Drill brushes are fun.

So, I’m gonna start here. and I’m going to work my butt off. Hopefully the endorphins from actually cleaning and getting it done help encourage me to choose another room.

But dang. The laundry is going to be never ending.

Wish me luck.

---

Thanks for reading.

-c