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By my calculations this was in fact my 400th Blog post! Yay me?

I made this! On something…

Faking One’s Death is NOT Illegal

It’s the reasons behind it that can be illegal.

I only looked it up for a friend.

Anyway, according to Wikipedia (I really should donate to them, TBH) the act of faking one’s death, which for obvious reasons *ahem* insurance fraud *ahem* has become more frequent in the 19th century, can only become a legal matter if you are doing for nefarious purposes. Or, you know, avoiding prosecution.

So, it’s important to note, that one should not fake their own death for insurance purposes, to evade the law, or as a practical joke. While no one is actually physically hurt, faking your death is not “victimless” because there are going to be people affected in some way.

And also, these days, most people who fake their deaths get caught. Because of technology and widespread mainstream surveillance—there are cameras everywhere—you’re likely to get found out.

Like how at the end of that one Nocturnal Flying Rodent Man movie Alfred Pennyworth caught the American Psycho and Princess Diaries in Paris. Poor Al blamed himself for not making his boss stop the vigilante stuff, and that cat tried to clutch his mom’s pearls.

Sorry I’m trying not to spoil anything and I’ve also not seen that movie in a while.

I may or may not have had an imagined scenario where my truck ends up in the river but I’m not in it. But I promised I’d never fake my death. There are reasons. HERE’S A LIST:

Reasons I would Never fake my death

  • I am lazy: it sounds like a LOT of work to fake one’s death. I don’t like work.
  • I would miss my kid: the idea that I would have to be separated from her for the rest of my days. Nope
  • I wouldn’t want to leave my family with my debt: I am still ALIVE because of this. Knowing that debt collectors would come for them once my payments stop rolling in. If someone wanted to help me out with that’s only about 25 grand.
  • I really want to see how many days in a row I wanna post to this blog: I would have to abandon it if I “died”. I’m that stubborn.

I’m at the stage where I’m starting to fall asleep sitting up with a phone in my head. Melatonin and warm blankets are my kryptonite. Goodnight!