And I’m no artist.

I’ve recently started making stickers. It requires… a lot. One of the most important things?

Which I do not have. I cannot draw. I can’t. I don’t care what anyone says. I can’t. Most of the things I’ve done have been traced in some form. Case in point:

Okay that gallery is not an accurate representation of my tracing prowess. But the moose is. I’ll show the moose.

This moose silhouette was traced from a screenshot of multiple moose silhouettes. I added the screenshot into Procreate, created a transparent layer over it, picked a brush, increased streamline and stabilization and traced it. It’s not exact as I didn’t take pains. Then I just autofilled with black. Easy peasy.

Simply put:

While there is *some* regret, there’s zero remorse. It does feel a little like stealing, piggybacking off someone else’s work, so to speak. I am not broken up about it.

Mostly because I feel like I’m wasting my time and energy, because I won’t make anything off any of the stickers I make. The kid has made more money off hers.

Which, good for her I’m not mad.

But if I were charging, properly, for the work I do, taking into account the effort I put into it, I’d be charging more than $2 a sticker.

Consider the moose. Let’s pretend he (his name is Clive, obvi) was a commission. A commission for which I charged for my time and the actual physical sticker. Let’s say I charged a dollar an hour for the work, plus the sticker. I’ve worked on this dude for a couple hours minimum. And if the price point of the sticker itself was still $2. I’d be charging $4 at least for the commission.

Granted, he’s a digital file and there’s an unlimited amount I can make off a digital file. I can print it over and over.

The set price of $2 (for all my stickers for sale on the site) was determined after The Hubs helped me “math” the cost of materials (this did not include the brand new printer). I have to sale, like ten stickers to make the money back from the sticker paper an laminate I put over it.

This ain’t no side hustle.

It is the opposite of a side hustle. It’s a side reluctance (I googled the opposite of hustle). You make money off a side hustle. You enjoy a side hustle. You’re good at a side hustle. I am

Let’s be honest.

Between the hours of 5:30pm and 11pm (my bedtime—it should be earlier) I should be left alone. By left alone I mean no outside contact, no internet, no doom scrolling said internet. No communication. I need to either read or sleep.

This is because, it seems, right around 5:30-6:00 i slowly float away into what feels like a depressive state. I think about how I’m not very good at everything and I don’t have any friends. I remember that I’m a bad daughter to a father, a bad sister, and I’ve broken promises.

I remember that I’m a failure: I graduated college but I work retail. I’ve tried to write the same story for going on a year and four months.

Seriously though, I scrolled all the way back.

I remember all these things that remind me that I’m not what I could have been.

Ignore this entire post.

I’m tried, I’ve gotta work in the morning, and I still need to clean off my bed. Goodnight.

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