Category Archives: Beauty and Body

The Spite Diet: 108 Days

16 Sunday Apr 2023

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Reminder

I started The Spite Diet because my gynecologist wanted me to talk to my family doctor about a weight loss drug even though I wasn’t trying to lose weight. And I simply said, “Hold my Pepsi.”

I didn’t want to just start taking a drug to lose weight when I hadn’t made a real effort to do so.

So I made a real effort.

The main components of The Spite Diet are the real things I think I needed to work on to lose weight. Portion Control and making better choices.

The tools I’ve been using are the Lose It App and Intermittent Fasting.

How It’s Going

Okay, so I am two days off of a weeklong vacation where most of what I did was sit around. It was GLORIOUS. I regretted it later but that’s not what this post is about. I thought, “Okay, its time to start all over, go back to the beginning and try again. I just knew that I had gained some weight back. I knew this because I hadn’t weighed myself in about seventeen days, and I’d managed to not meal prep my lunches for work, drank lots of carbonated sugary beverages, stress eaten and all kinds of naughty, not very healthy decisions.

But I just weighed in and I am 295. I am under my initial goal weight of 300 pounds, and I’d “lost” five pounds since my last weigh-in, which was before my vacation. So, pleasant surprise for the win.

What I’m Eating

The lunch I prep for workdays is always the same, because its quick, easy, and I always have the ingredients.

  • whole wheat wrap (I prefer the Mission Carb Balance Whole Wheat wraps, but I currently have the great value)
  • Some form of meat (I love the Oscar Meyer Cracked Black Pepper Turkey Breast Deli Sliced)
  • Cheese (I like any kind of swiss or provolone, lately I just have kraft singles which get a little gooey–not in a good way–overnight)
  • Kraft Mayonnaise (a tablespoon is a serving size)
  • fresh spinach (about a 1/4 cup)
  • Great Value Zesty Ranch Veggie Straws
  • baby carrots, with a tablespoon of ranch.

I try to be a good girl and have my Oats Overnight oats for the day, but honestly, the consistency gets a little monotonous for me if I have it too frequently. I mix my oats in the shaker bottle they send for free, with vanilla almond milk. If I have it or have the money to get it, I choose a protein bar and an equate vanilla protein shake for breakfast instead. Again, I have been a little naughty and didn’t stick with this, and have often had starbucks coffee (in the glass bottle) and tasty cake donuts. But… stress.

Dinner has mostly been whatever is easiest for me. That consists of, usually, my husband cooking, or fast food. Like I said, I’ve not been a good girl. But I do love me the Butterball Seasoned Turkey Burger Patties. I will make a burger out of them, with lettuce, tomato, and mayo. Or I’ll have some broccoli. I enjoy quinoa, but it takes a while to make it.

Thoughts.

My goals moving forward with the diet are to at minimum maintain my weight loss. At best, continue to lose. I am purposely choosing to not set outrageous goals or have too high of expectations. I do not wish to set myself up for failure, which I often do. I have been known to set goals way out of reach and when I do not reach them, take it as a total failure, and fall into a depression. I’m trying to improve myself, not destroy myself.

Fears: One of the reasons why I haven’t really wanted to try hard at losing weight before was the skin. I don’t love my body at 330 pounds. And I know I will love it even less at 200 pounds with 40 pounds of loose sagging skin hanging off of it. I’m afraid that if I lose a significant amount of weight I will be left with all the lose skin to deal with. I cannot afford surgery to remove it, and I will not want to spend the rest of my life looking at it. I fear that my mental health will deteriorate even more should that happen.

I had also hoped that with weight loss, I would see a reduction in chronic pain. I have lower body pain (legs, knees, ankles, feet) that is constant while working. I hoped that losing weight would alleviate that pain and I could work harder or at least suffer a little less. But I have yet to see a significant improvement, and taking a week off work and going back was absolutely horrendous.

I see now that the damage done to my body is not only the extra weight I’ve been carrying for decades, working for eight hours a day on my feet on concrete floors. And that damage is not going to be repaired just by losing some weight. Probably not at all.

Changes

I’m currently considering a change in my intermittent fasting schedule. I am currently loosely on a 12/12 eating fasting schedule. Fasting for 12 hours a day, and an eating window of 12 hours a day. I usually fast for about twelve and a half hours, as that is what works with my work schedule. But changing to a 16/8 fasting schedule, would leave an eight hour window to get my meals in.

I also need to increase my protein intake, but I can only eat what I have on hand and can afford, so we shall see.

Final Thoughts

Portion control, smarter choices, activity level, and eliminating stress and emotional eating are all things I need to work on. Doing so would improve my results and help me achieve my goals. It’s a battle and I’m still fighting it. Sometimes halfheartedly, sometimes I want out, sometimes I wonder what would warrant a dishonorable discharge. And then I see that I’ve lost five pounds without trying.

that last five pounds was probably just water weight but I’m not arguing.
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The “Spite Diet” Update

12 Sunday Mar 2023

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It’s a thing.

As a reminder, The Spite Diet is me decided to lose weight in my own because my doctor thought I needed to take a drug to do so, even though she didn’t ask if I was even trying.

That’s not me judging people who use medication to lose weight, but me figuring I should give it a good college try before I start pumping my body with medication marketed for something else.

The actual diet is me being mindful of portion sizes and making healthier choices as opposed to my typical “eat whats delicious and convenient in unhealthy amounts and not realizing I feel terrible because it’s bad for me and not because it’s normal”.

What I Eat

Breakfast: A protein shake (equate high performance vanilla) and a protein bar (usually quest) or Oats Overnight oats.

Lunch: To work I take a wrap, veggie straws, and pickles. I drink water or a low calorie packet mixed in water.

Dinner: chicken and a Turkey burger patty and a veggie.

Snacks: low fat yogurt.

How It’s Going

Well, to be honest, my high stress life, has taken a toll on the journey. Yes, according to the scale I had lost 26 pounds since the beginning of this journey, I am an emotional eater, and all the things GOING ABSOLUTELY BONKERS WRONG in my life is not helping that.

I’ll not go into the gritty details, but I have turned to good to make it all better. While better it has not gotten, I know that food will not solve my problems. No matter how good it tastes.

I haven’t weighed myself in over a week, and didn’t even record it then. Should I go do it now? Okay not as bad as I thought. 301. Which takes my weight lost down a pound, but we’re letting that slide.

I have also slacked on tracking my food and water intake. I know that’s not the main goal here, and tracking doesn’t necessarily help the mission, but I feel better about it, and have accountability when I do it.

Tools of the Trade

Lost It: I just renewed my subscription (for a deal!) of the premium Lose It app. Now, I have heard some not so great things about the app, like how unrealistic some of the goals it’s sets for someone can be. But the thing is very customizable and it’s really just guidelines anyway.

Intermittent Fasting: LOSELY. I “fast” between 8pm and 8am daily. It reality it ends up being 8:30am or later before I have breakfast due to my schedule. And I don’t plan on closing that window anytime soon. I stopped eating after 8am when I was trying to lose weight before having The Kid, and it seemed to help.

You body tends to slow down on its functions in the evenings, and you don’t digest food well late at night (unless you’re in a schedule where you eat regularly at that time). You’re also not buying many calories while sleeping, so leaving food on your stomach over night is just bad form.

Some Overall Thoughts

  • Don’t deny yourself. If you are really truly craving something, go for it, just in moderation. Like I’d dance in the pale moonlight in my skivvies if I could get my hands on a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey. But I would try not to engulf the entire pint in one sitting.
  • Doesn’t have to be diet food. It’s just probably shouldn’t be garbage. Eat that Doritos Locos taco from Taco Bell, just keep the lettuce and tomato, and try not to order the whole cravings box and consume it all. Fun Fact the steak offerings come with a sodium warning.
  • Drink water. Muscle cramps suck.
  • Setbacks are normal. Don’t let it break you.
  • Small goals are good. They are baby steps to the big milestones.
  • Everything doesn’t work the same for everyone. Find what fits you and your life.
  • It’s a journey. There will be ups and downs.

The Spite Diet: 32 Day Update

30 Monday Jan 2023

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“Scales and Arpeggios”

Hi, my name is Crystal. Hi Crystal. It’s been 21 days since my last Update.

Spite Diet Reminder

  • The goal is supposed to be to change my eating habits and lifestyle to improve my health and see how much weight I can manage to lose before my next doctor appointment on March 29th.
  • I started it because my “lady” doctor, suggested i ask my regular doctor about Ozempic, a drug manufactured for diabetics that has shown positive results doe weight loss patients. And I wasn’t even asking about losing weight.
  • There’s a blog post coming soon about Ozempic.

For more info see this post.

So, how’s it going?

Terrible.

Seriously, listen. I’ve let the idea that I’m not going to be eating all my favorite foods the way I was eating them, the absolute consistency of routine has become boring, and I’m frustrated with a lack of results.

I’ve had more Pepsi than I should have (I firmly believe it is my one true vice and I’ll need a 12-step program to break its hold on me), I had a mental breakdown the other day and decided I needed Mexican food.

It was absolutely delicious and I regret most of it.

I feel terribly alone in this journey. There’s a post about that too but I’m not linking it.

I know how to fix (most) of it

But I have issues. I won’t go to the gym by myself because i’m an anxious scaredy cat. I won’t message them because I’m afraid of doing something to look stupid. And it’s too cold to walk.

And to be honest I can’t really go walking or to the gym on days it would benefit me most (high stress days) because it’s my job to pick up The Kid from daycare on those days. And of course I don’t want to add to His high stress.

I also know that to see results I need to break my own rules way less often. I saw more results (lost more weight) the first week because I had zero Pepsi and really stuck to the diet. I made less not so great choices and tried harder.

I want to do better. I need to do better. I want to prove my doctor wrong, even if I won’t see her again for another year. I don’t need drugs to lose weight. I need willpower, determination, and to not be so depressed gosh darn it.

So, wish me luck I guess?

The Spite Diet: sucks.

28 Saturday Jan 2023

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It’s hard to change your lifestyle when you are alone.

When my mom had her stomach surgery, she was in the hospital for two months, she was on ventilator for a large portion of that time. In that span of time she had gone through the withdrawal of her nicotine addiction and had been without a cigarette.

When she was released into my sister’s care (excellent care) she was without cigarettes. I cannot remember how long she stayed with my sister. But she eventually decided that she was healed enough and knew how to take care of herself and her newfound circumstances, and was ready to go back to the home she shared with my dad.

But when she returned, neither my father nor my brother, who both lived with her, nor my other brother, stopped smoking around her. My sister and I were smart enough to never pick up that habit. But the rest didn’t care enough not to smoke around her.

She was in her late 50s, and it would have done her a service to neglect to partake. I’m sure pointing this out to them now would mean nothing to them. But had they done so, she might have stopped for good.

However, one day, she decided that she would stop at a gas station, and buy her first pack of cigarettes in months.

She tired to hide it but we knew.

Had her lifestyle change been important to everyone the same way it was to her and myself and my sister, she might have had better success. Her support system could have been larger, so to speak.

Of course a lot of it has to with the individual’s willingness to stick to the change. But it helps having people around you who are right there with you. It’s easier to do things together than it is alone.

There’s a point to my rambling.

I’ve been doing this “Spite Diet” thing for one month. I’ve only lost 6 pounds. I’ve weighed myself three times. I’ve not gained it back. But I’ve only lost 6 pounds.

I tried to go to the gym but couldn’t get in.

I try to eat healthy and meal prep.

The other night I cooked some diced chicken and quinoa. It was delicious and I wanted to save the rest for lunch the next day. I rested for a while after my meal and returned to the kitchen to package up my leftovers, and it appeared I’d left less chicken than I thought.

My first thought was, “oh, maybe I didn’t just take half? Or “did I maybe get seconds without realizing?” As if my eating disorder (not claiming to have an eating disorder here) is so bad I black out while eating.

Now, I knew my husband had made his own dinner. I saw the cooking paraphernalia on the stovetop. He wouldn’t have ate some of my chicken as well as what the hell ever he made for himself, would be?

Oh, but he would. “Honey, did you eat some of my chicken?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I was going to save that for my lunch tomorrow.”

“Oh, sorry.”

That’s it. Oh, sorry. That’s all.

Tonight, I had my dinner and was going to make a quick wrap for lunch at work tomorrow. I was thinking about that wrap all day. The last one was so good.

It’s a whole wheat tortilla, a serving size is good deli turkey, a single slice of Swiss, some spinach, a little Mayo, and if I was feeling frisky a thin slice of tomato (too much makes it soggy). I would pair it with veggie straws and some pickles.

I walk into the kitchen and see, sitting on the counter, my turkey. Now, last I left it there were enough for two wraps. There was barely enough for one. I could have made it work.

But, it was room temp. Now, one could assume that had it not been out that long, it might have been fine. But one does not know what I know, which is that my husband and child left the house around (you know what I don’t know what time) before noon. Eight hours before I went to make my lunch.

I’m a dumbass. But I’m not so much of a dumbass as to not know that eating eight hour old counter lunch meat would make a good time not. I mean, I might lose some weight afterward, but that’s not how I want to do it. Or how I want to die.

So, when he walked into the room, I asked him, “honey, is that my good Turkey?”

“What turkey?”

I point. “That room temperature Turkey over there.”

“Yes. The Kid wanted a sandwich. Sorry.”

At this point I really just shut out the universe. pretty sure I said, “it’s fine” at least ten times.

He asked me if I wanted him to go get more. It was after 8pm at this point. No, it’s fine. Are you sure. It’s fine.

He went to his room was gone for a few minutes, and came out dressed for public (meaning not shorts) and said, “I’ll be back.”

Where you going? To get Turkey. I said it’s fine. Are you sure? It’s fine. I’ll figure out something else or I’ll buy lunch. It’s fine.

You know, I understand the kid was hungry. I understand that even I have forgotten to put stuff back in the refrigerator (RIP giant bag of frozen broccoli). We all do forgetful things, and we also have to feed the children.

But he ate my chicken, when he had or was making his own dinner. He’s not trying to lose weight or eat healthier (going all day and not having anything but off brand slim fast and Quaker chewy bars isn’t healthy either).

I’m alone in this. I’m doing it by myself. Just me and a stupid app that reminds me that even if I think the food I’m making is healthy, it is in fact not. Because of all 9,000 things that have to be taken into account.

If I didn’t just THOROUGHLY LOVE FOOD, if my emotions and eating were not lovers who slow danced from dawn to dark, if I didn’t crave the most delicious gawd awful unhealthy delicacies, then losing weight would be a cakewalk.

But two days ago I had Mexican food, real Mexican food, because I was having a stressful day and craved that polo bandito, and a large Pepsi. Tonight I had Taco Bell. And you know what, the first thing I’m gonna eat when I finally give up the charade of this “Spite Diet” is most of a little Caesar’s hot and ready pepperoni pizza. And I’m going to have some kind of enormous delectable ice cream dessert.

That six pounds I lost two weeks ago, well it’ll be back. Like Arnold Swartzenegger in that terminator movie. Even if I don’t quit, even if I improve my eating, and change my lifestyle completely. Because I’m not made for success. I’m built for failure. Like a structurally unsound tower made from off brand Lego bricks from the reject bin.

Why am I even doing this? To live longer? For my pants for fit better? To be able to work an eight hour shift without wanting to remove my own feet?

None of those things. Who wants to live a long life in this world? most of mg pants fall off me right now anyway, losing weight will make it worse. And the damage is already done to my feet and ankles.

No, I started this last month to prove to a doctor I see once a year that I can lose weight without taking an injectable diabetes once a month. I did it to spite that doctor. To prove her wrong. And all I’m getting out of it is depression and cravings for food I can’t have.

I’m not a happy person anyway, and this is not helping.

Relax he doesn’t read this

Oats Overnight Redux: A Review (Part One)

20 Friday Jan 2023

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Since starting The Spite Diet I’ve made a point of searching for the best food options for a healthier lifestyle. My usual go-to for breakfast turned out to have more fat than the meals I was making for lunch and dinner during the diet.

So, I started searching for a better option, one that was just as convenient as my Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts, and affordable. I kept coming back to Oats Overnight.

I’d had the subscription before, but honestly I got bored of it, and kept forgetting to rinse the bottle 🤦‍♀️. So I canceled with several pouches in my cabinet. Well, I went back the other night and found the box of neglected leftovers, and was going to fix me up a batch for the next morning.

But they had expired.

So decided I resubscribe. This go ‘round, I selected all different flavors, some new to me, some I remember enjoying the last time. The following is a review of all the flavors I received. This post will be several weeks in the making. Let’s get into it!

Mixed Berries & Cream

Front pouch
Facts and ingredients
“New to me” flavor. Enjoyed on January 20.

I poured the pouch into the free (with subscription) Blender Bottle and added 8oz of vanilla almond milk to the line on the bottle. I threw it in the fridge the night before around 10pm. I took it to work with me to enjoy around 8:30am.

  • Obstacles: (large ingredients that require additional effort) berries: not a ton and pleasant, fun to chew the rehydrated blueberries. minimal effort. 8/10
  • Flavor: berries and cream will always be a great flavor in my opinion. No unpleasant aftertaste. 9/10
  • Texture: basically thin oatmeal. Expected. No graininess. nothing unexpected. 9/10
  • Overall: easy to eat, enjoyable breakfast, fits well into my diet plan. Tons of protein.

9.5/10

Dark Chocolate Sea Salt

“New to me” flavor. Enjoyed on January 21. Images screen shot from OatsOvernight.com
  • Obstacles: chocolate chunks. Small, hard but not difficult to chew. Seem to settle to the bottom. 7/10
  • Flavor: CHOCOLATE. It’s delicious. Tastes very much like a really good chocolate ice cream. Except for, you know, oatmeal and chia seeds. 10/10
  • Texture: no graininess. Definitely needed a good shake again, to disperse the ingredients. Expected texture for good overnight oats. No complaints 9/10
  • Overall: great flavor, good texture, a few obstacles. 8.5/10

Flavor in Development: Cookies and Cream

Enjoyed in January 24.
Via Oats Overnight Instagram
  • Obstacles: besides the typical ingredients from their base mix, like chia seeds, I had no issues. Ingredients list says cookies crumbs, but I imagine they absorbed the almond milk and got soggy. Like I like my Oreos. 10/10
  • Flavor: first let me tell you, when I opened up the package, I didn’t know what flavor it was. It smelled like chocolate chip cookies. I saw that there was cocoa powder in the mix based on color. I wasn’t mad. the flavor is delicious I can taste the chocolate cookie flavor, and it a good pairing for oats. Would enjoy again. 9.8/10
  • Texture: classic OO texture. No graininess, no inconsistency or bitterness. The cookie crumbs it touts in the ingredients maybe got lost in the milk overnight. But I can still taste the flavor. 10/10
  • Overall: amazing. Top of the list so far. 9.5/10

Strawberries & Cream

Enjoyed January 29. Images via their website.
  • Obstacles: none detected. Pieces of strawberries are small enough that they blend right in, in fact, in this batch they might either be a little too small or sparse. 7/10
  • Flavor: delicious strawberries and cream flavor. Not quite as potent a flavor as the Quaker Oats version of S&C oatmeal. But this taste less artificial because of the milder flavor. 8/10
  • Texture: there’s a little bit of a mouth feel after you have a gulp and swallow. Not grainy, but like a residue? I’m sure if you take a swig of water it’ll go away. Otherwise, it’s typical classic Oats Overnight texture. 8/10
  • Overall: a more traditional, classic, milder flavor for OO. Could use more strawberry but not a lot. But it also could have been a “luck of the batch” issue. 8/10

Green Apples & Cinnamon

Enjoyed February 24. Imagines via their website.
  • Obstacles: small chunks of diced dried apples. They rehydrate well, and give a bit of chew to the mix. Not unpleasant and a subtle not overpowering taste. 8/10
  • Flavor: it’s a very light subtle flavor. Not overpowering or overbearing. It’s a good neutral flavor. It’s not going to surprise you or be overwhelming in the morning. There’s no odd aftertaste either. Nothing to write home about either. 7.5/10
  • Texture: typical overnight oats texture, drinkable with little obstacles to have to break down or avoid. No graininess unwanted textures for overnight oats. 9/10
  • Overall: good simple breakfast that’s not overwhelming or too much for one’s senses first thing. 8/10

So far.

To be honest, I’ve gotten bored. There’s been a few times over the course of a month that I just did not want to drink breakfast. The flavor options I had or the one I’d premade the night before did not thrill me.

I’ve also had a lot of stress of late, and wanted something more fulfilling in a enjoyment sense. Basically meaning not healthy. So, I’d let the oats I’d made go bad or just skip making them altogether.

It’s important when your on a health journey where you adjust your diet to what works best for you to eat foods you enjoy, not just what seems healthy. Boredom can lead to making decisions that are counterproductive to your goals.

I’ve been trying to interchange my oats with other options, like a protein shake and bar. While I’m still not perfect at eating, meal prep, and all things The Spite Diet, I’m trying. And I’m a long way from giving up.

Important Spite Diet update coming soon!

I tried to go to the gym

15 Sunday Jan 2023

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I’ve officially been on the Spite Diet for 17 days. Weigh-in (according to my home scale) is tomorrow. While I’d lost 6 pounds at last weigh in, I know that it’s important to weight loss to exercise.

So I decided I was going to go to the gym.

But, see, there’s a problem. I don’t like doing new things, by myself. That’s why it took me nearly a decade to pump my own gas (which was also done out of spite). Doing new things by myself gives me anxiety.

I don’t know if it’s the fear of failure, or anti-social tendencies, or what, but the idea of it was daunting.

Even at 7am, when I knew it would be hours before I would be going, I thought about it all day. This anxiety is probably the reason why I don’t ask for help a lot.

Anyway, I finally convinced myself to go by telling myself I would make a TikTok video (yes, you read that right) about the process. Going, getting out, going in, on thr treadmill, and then in the vehicle being all proud of myself.

But eventually the time came for me to clock out and change. I’d brought my gym clothes to work to change in the breakroom rest room. That’s at I didn’t have to do it at the gym.

I changed, no one mentioned my clothes, and walked to the truck. I messaged mg husband that I was going and he said, “Work up a good sweat.”

You see, once I got over the initial walking in bit, I knew that I could get on the treadmill and do what I’d came for.

But alas, it was not to be. Upon arrival I sat in my truck for a minute. I said to myself, hey, you’re an adult. You don’t need someone to hold your hand. You pump your own gas you can go into the gym.

I see there aren’t many people there, I get out, walk to the door, and ITS LOCKED. My first thought was, okay, after hours, it’s okay, three years ago you paid for a key fob to get in after hours. I run back in and… it doesn’t work. I try it over and over. It makes the beeping noises but no dice.

I am disappointed. Almost on the verge of tears.

Also a little angry. Angry because I’d had to psych myself up and got nothing but anticlimactic failure.

Eventually I decide, instead of pouting and going home, what felt like empty handed, I am going to go to a local walking trail in town and walk.

My dudes it was 36 degrees.

But I did it.

I walked one lap, about a half mile. It felt good but my nose was cold for two hours after. If it were warmer I would have walked more.

I would have spent an hour in the treadmill though.

I am going to go back, I’m going to go at regular hours, and I’m going to see about getting a replacement key fob. Because Sundays are gonna be the best days for me to go by myself. And I will go by myself.

Still, I’m a little proud of me for walking up to that door alone. And walking the track alone.

I’m really hungry

12 Thursday Jan 2023

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And no it’s not because I’m on a diet. Although…

I am not starving myself. I am not depriving myself. I eat three meals a day. I get plenty of calories and protein and all that good stuff.

I’m hungry because I want nothing more than to gorge myself on junk food. I want Taco Bell. I want a cheesy Gordita crunch and a Crunchwrap supreme with a large Pepsi. I want ice cream. I want a ten piece chicken nugget and a Big Mac. I want sweet tea.

I want cake. I want a fudge round. I want Pepsi.

I want cool ranch Doritos and Fritos with chili and cheese. I want gravy and biscuits with bacon and scrambled eggs. I want cinnamon rolls.

I want to get out my bed and go into the living room and chug vanilla almond milk straight from the carton at 10:30 at night.

I feel like it’s important to acknowledge the things that you want, whether your going to do that thing or not. So this is me acknowledging that I missing the delicious unhealthy borderline disgusting food I ate before the Spite Diet began.

No, I never ate myself into stupidity. I ate until I was satisfied. And I didn’t eat constantly. In fact, I eat the same number of times a day that I did before I just eat better. And with limits. Like serving sizes.

I think I can safely say I was not nor have I ever been addicted to food. I feel like the fact that I maintained the same weight off and on for a decade days that.

But you know something I miss that didn’t think I would ever miss? PIZZA. It’s only been two weeks and I miss pizza daggumit. A coworker brought a fresh hot and ready little Caesar’s pizza in for lunch. I stared at it. My Turkey burger was good but not want I was craving!

I’ve done really well so far. So I’m gonna keep going. And I’m going to try really hard. Like I have been doing. Even if I forgot to meal prep for tomorrow.

But I am having Taco Bell for dinner. The power bowl isn’t terrible.

The “Spite” Diet Update

09 Monday Jan 2023

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I forgot how long I’ve been doing this!

Created with Canva.

I didn’t realize how long I’ve been on my self-imposed diet plan. And honestly I’d weighed myself a few days ago, and I didn’t like it. Mostly because it said I’d gained ten pounds. And I knew better.

I ended up asking my husband to look at the number on the scale. I use an analog scale, the one with the hand that moves. I stopped using digital scales because I never got an accurate measurement twice in a row.

When you move around it changes, so between leaning over to see past my gut, and trying to fit my big feet on the thing perfectly, I was getting highly inaccurate numbers. So when the hubs came and looked I lost six pounds.

I will freely admit I was a little emotional. I didn’t expect any change, least of all a loss! But here we are, six pounds down.

So here’s what I’ve been doing, if you wanna know.

  • Cut down on pop (soda if your weird): Pepsi is my addiction. But I went a full week without one. Had one one day, skipped it the next, then caved and had another. But I’m gonna try harder this time. *eye roll*
  • Portion Control: my normal intake is multiple servings of whatever food we’re having. But I’ve stuck to serving sizes and single helpings. My mother in law likes to cook. She grew up in a time when a full plate was healthy food. But a half a pound of baked ham, two cups of corn, and two rolls isn’t healthy that’s over eating.
  • Counting calories and limiting carbs: I love carbs. Carbs are my favorite meal. If I go to prison my last meal is gonna be pasta and bread and potatoes. But I know too much isn’t good for me. And there are more calories in foods than you think.
  • Protein Shakes: the things are expensive, and I guess they’re supposed to help you feel full longer? I don’t really notice a difference for me, but I’m trying to up my healthy protein intake.
  • Meal prep: when you’re at work and hungry, you’ll get whatever sounds good. And I work at a retail store than has a decent sized non-refrigerated food section. And everything sounds good. If I meal prep my reasonably healthy food at home, I have lunch ready for the next day. I also save money.
  • Lots of water: duh. Most people don’t drink enough water, and it can be hard working it into your daily life. I carry a large link 80oz jug to work, and challenge myself to drink as much as I can by the end of the day.
  • Intermittent fasting: I try to only eat during a certain twelve hour window. It’s really not that hard. I usually have my last meal of the day eaten before 7:30pm. My fast usually starts at 8pm, and goes until 8am. But when I’m working I don’t usually get to eat until 8:30-9:00am. It works because I don’t start getting really hungry until about then anyway.
  • The Lose It App: I’ve managed to log my meals for twelve days. That’s the longest I’ve managed to keep up with it. and the app tracks how many calories and carbs, how much fiber, and protein I intake. As well as how many calories I burn thanks to my phone and Apple Watch. I can track my water intake as well. I can also create a recipe in the app with measurements, tell it how many servings, and it’ll calculate the macronutrients and such. I will definitely renew the app in March.

Goals

The initial point of this whole thing was to see how much I can lose my March 29th (78 days). No actual goal was in mind while starting this mission.

But now I’ve set a checkpoint. I want to get down to 300 pounds. I’ve not given myself a timeline, Low expectations make for minimal disappointment if a failure occurs. For me, anything lost is a win. Maintaining that loss would be even better. So if I weigh myself again in seven days, and I’m still 310, that’s ok.

I am going to try and overcome my social anxiety and go to the gym. I need to add too my calorie deficit in order to lose more. But, I a scurt.

Also there’s more to come with Cora.

The Spite Diet

01 Sunday Jan 2023

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I’m tired and moody and don’t feel like writing a good blog post. So here’s this.

What is The Spite Diet

First it should be noted that The Spite Diet may not be right for everyone. But don’t consult your doctor because that’s why it’s called the Spite Diet.

The Spite Diet (or TSD) for short is exactly that. A diet started out of spite and in order to prove one or more person(s) wrong.

For example: not only am I trying to prove my doctor wrong, but also myself. You see, I have unintentionally maintained the very same weight, give it take a few pounds, for years. Which I think is better than continuously growing.

At my recent yearly checkup my “lady doctor” suggested I talk to my general practitioner about a diabetes drug for weight loss.

First off ma’am you put me in metformin years ago and that did the trick IN THE WORST WAY.

Anyway, I nodded and said ok. But in my head I thought, Nah, my dude. I’m not trying to lose weight now, why would I take medicine from people who need it?

But then I had gained like two pounds.

Well a few weeks later I saw said general practitioner and thought for a split second, “well maybe”. But no, I decided that I wasn’t about that life. But he did want to see me again in three months.

And I had also gained three more pounds. For a total of five gained. Since November (Five at least. There’s a possibility that it was more but I can’t access those numbers).

So, I made the snap decision that I wanted to see how much weight I could lose (I almost wrote gain lort help me) in three months. Three months because it’s a good amount of time to see some change, and I’d have access to the same scale that I was weighed on last time. Consistency is key.

But how?

Well, I accidentally forgot to not pay for an app. If you click the link, it’s a blog post I made about forgetting to turn off auto-renew on the yearly subscription to that app. That app, by the way is called LoseIt. It’s a fitness and tracking app that lets you log everything from food to water and tracks your fitness and calories and macronutrients and such. And it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than Noom.

Anyway, I’m using the app to log my food, my water, my sleep and my weight. It gives me a calorie limit and even tells me how many more I can consume based on “bonus calories burned”.

I’m also in a 12:12 Intermittent Fasting (IF)plan (also not on the advice of any doctor). When I lost some weight before I had The Kid, I was on a similar plan, that was basically me not eating after 8. With this VERY LOOSE IF plan, I eat between 8am and 8pm. I can also have all the zero calorie beverages I want.

What have you eaten on your diet?

Well, day one was unhealthy because I hadn’t really “started”. It involved cup noodles, a snack cake, and corn dogs. Not all in one meal, obviously. But that was what I had that day.

Day Two was a little better. I got some protein shakes, and enjoyed that with my chocolate fudge pop tart for breakfast. On lunch I went to the next door grocery store and got a few items to make a salad. These lasted me three days. It included spring mix greens, diced ham, cheese, and grape tomatoes. And some really good ranch.

I know that part of my problem is portion control, so I made sure to try and use serving sizes of each item. But the greens said it was two servings, the ham was a 2 oz bag and said one serving was half the bag, a quarter cup of cheese was way too much, and the tomatoes were a serving size of like 15?

I wanted to make it last over multiple days and I did. I finished off the greens and the tomatoes today. I still have a good amount left of the rest for at least one more salad if I just get the rest of the ingredients.

Last night was my favorite dinner so far, of the three days. A Turkey burger Patty with garlic and herb seasoning, an 1/8th of a tablespoon of butter and broccoli with butter and seasonings. Was better than I thought and I will eat it again.

I am also very proud of myself for not having a pop for three days now.

Stats

Starting Weight at Doctor’s office (12/28) : 325

Weight on my home scale (12/31) because I need a point of reference until March: 316

My only goal is to see how much I can lose and eventually get down to 300. I think that’s a good attainable number. I just gotta get better at the meal prepping.

In conclusion

Check out the Lose It App. You can sync your Apple Watch, like me, or other device to track your fitness and steps. If you have tried Noom (like me) and don’t enjoy the whole “read this today” thing, or the price point, Lose It is a great option. You can use it for free with limited features or pay $30.00 a year for all of it.

Queen of Spite is at it Again

29 Thursday Dec 2022

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I mean, I’m playing the long game, but still.

As I stated in Tuesday’s post, I had a doctor appointment yesterday. And the very first paragraph of that post stated that my gynecologist wanted me to ask my doctor about a diabetes drug that helps with weight loss.

I also stated that I don’t go to her, or my regular doctor, for weight loss. I’m fact I’m more likely to lose my mind before I see a doctor over weight loss. The proof being the nagging pain near my right temple that my brain is telling me is an aneurysm.

But I digress.

As the previously mentioned post said, there was a whole list of things that I was planning on not discussing with my doctor. And while we did talk about “the movement” so to speak, I didn’t go into detail as to why I wanted to throw stool softener at his face.

What I did ask him about is chronic sinus issues. Turns out that taking a decongestant enabled allergy medication on the regular can actually do more harm than good. While I’m certain that my currently meds don’t have the D (ahem), it wants me to ween myself off of them in place of a different allergy medicine. So I have to show back up in three months

*eyeroll*

To see how the new meds are working for me.

Now, at the very beginning of the appointment I was weighed. A typical, standard practice for a medical appointment. Now, I have managed to maintain a steady 320 for years now. Not trying, not making an effort, it just very rarely varies.

At my gynecologist appointment a few weeks ago, yes, that appointment, I weighed 323 pounds. At my appointment yesterday I had gained two additional pounds. I was not shocked. Tis the holidays, my dudes. Not that I get to sit around and be immobile like people in other industries might, but we all get a little softer this time of year.

But I hadn’t (and won’t) forget what Gyno said to me, about the diabetes medicine for weight loss (Oxempic, if your wondering. I googled it but that’s all I know. Besides the fact that I read the weight loss part creating a shortage for diabetic people).

So I thought.

Maybe, I can stop Christmas from coming. But how??

Oh wait wrong thing sorry.

So I thought, I wish I could prove to her I don’t need drugs to lose weight. And then I thought, three months, that’s a nice short, but not too short, amount of time. And I’d be using the same scale (consistency is important).

So out of spite, I am going to try and see how much weight I can lose in three months. I’m not gonna put a number on it. I’m not going to take up a specific regimen. I’m going to do the same thing I did before I got pregnant.

The Plan

First: stop pop. I had my last Pepsi today. I didn’t even drink the whole can by myself. It was also the last cab in a 24 pack that The Hubs bought a few weeks prior.

Now I also just bought two 2 liters of my seasonal favorite drink, Canada Dry Blackberry Ginger Ale. I have yet to crack that seal, but it will be cracked. I am not about that waste life.

Second: drink more water. I currently pack around where ever I go, a large pink jug of water. It’s 80oz. Now I know better than to think I’m gonna be able to finish the whole dang thing in one day, but it’s water I don’t have to buy at work and it’s convenient.

Next I am going to try and eat better: this one is obvious. The main issues I have is content and portion control. For example, for dinner I had three fricking corn dogs. Honestly, I was (and still am) exhausted beyond measure, and began to fall into a down episode. I did not feel like making healthy choices. I wanted sleep, I choose easy.

This is also going to be difficult because, while I work in a retail environment, my place of employment does not contain a large selection of healthy choices. It’s also mostly all processed food. But it’s accessible. There is a grocery store next door, so if I’m ever feeling frisky that’s the place.

And finally, intermittent fasting. I have done a tiny bit of research and I know that it’s not shown to be super effective for everyone. And most of the fasting will take place, at least initially, while I sleep.

I’m going to start with a 12 hr fast, 8pm-8am. I will also only fast on days I work. And to be honest, I’m already getting hunger pains. But that could be gas.

I also get dry mouth often, so I’m not counting my lozenges, or my medicine.

Honestly that is as far as I’ve gotten so far. My spite game moves faster than my planning game. But if I stick to it like I have these daily posts, the. I’m libel to prove everyone, including myself, wrong.