So here are all the things I could tell him about but probably won’t
My gynecologist told me to ask him about some diabetes drug because it’s shown a lot of potential as a weight loss drug.
I don’t go to her because of my weight. I go to her so I can satisfy the yearly requirement to have my pap smeared so I can get the renewed prescription for the birth control that’s keeping me from getting cancer. Supposedly. Also it keeps me from having Aunt Flo visit for shark week every month.
I don’t actively try to lose weight because I’m actively trying not to throw myself from a bridge just to see if I could fly away. Yes I know what the actual outcome of that experiment would be. I’m not completely delusional.
I could also tell them that despite the fact that he told me to “wait and see” instead of prescribing me an anxiety medication, I was dealing with a lot of stress and mood issues so I bought and OTC supplement called SAMe without doing research first.
I only took three mostly because I wasn’t gonna take it on my day off and it fell off my bedside table into the black whole that exists in the floor between it, the wall, and the bed.
I could tell him that my whole body hurts most of the time but we’d end up circling back the the weight issue and then we’d end up right at the jumping off a bridge thing.
I could tell him about the pain in my back that’s definitely not my back and most likely not the “you don’t eat enough fiber” issue that he claimed it was last time. But he’d probably tell me, “drink more water and take MORE fiber.”
I AM probably gonna tell him, no, I’ve not been following his recommendations because if I do all the things he tells me to in one day, more than two days in a row, they have the right effect but in the absolute extreme way, and I don’t need that either.
I WILL tell him do my own form of what he suggested and supplement as needed.
Why am I gonna not tell him any of these things?
Because it doesn’t matter. Nothing, in fact, matters. At the end of the day there’s still going to be a long list of problems that cannot be fixed by a prescription and some yearly blood work. In fact, most of my issues will not show up in bloodwork.
The localized pain in my head that happens sometimes when I bend over sometimes when I strain and sometimes when I’m tired but also sometimes when I’m just sitting still minding my own business. The swelling in my legs and feet, the muscle cramps the exhaustion.
I’ve only ever always had basically fine bloodwork. I’ve had X-rays in my back, my knees. Never in my ankles though I wonder what they’d see .
To be honest I don’t remember when this appointment was scheduled, it could have been the last time I saw him. But I also had an appoint in, like, October, that I legit slept through. I didn’t wanna go anyway.
I’m tired. I wanna be happier, I wanna be healthier. I want to be a better mom. I want to be glad to wake up in the morning just to do the same thing every single day.
First off, The Kid decided to run and go and tripped and fell. She hit her elbow on her door frame. There’s a small cut that she took forever to let me clean and bandage, but she’s gonna be in more pain tomorrow from whacking it at high speeds on a door jam.
We left the house today to run some errands and came home to find my dog ACQUIRED A HAM BONE AND LEFT BITS AND PIECES THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE.
I have to go back to work tomorrow after two glorious days off, only to have to deal with my least favorite time of the week. It’s a time consuming task and basically takes all day.
The Hubs got me a diamond painting kit that includes ten small (3in x 3in) canvas based on space.
It took me too days but I finished the first one and I’m hooked. Now, if I can stop losing the little “diamonds”.
My sister said she didn’t know what to get me and ended up fueling my addiction to stationary getting me a nice leather journal and pens. I want to start writing in it but I don’t want to ruin it with my usual nonsense. I’ll think of something good.
My truck hasn’t been started in like five days and I’m sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it’ll be freezing in there. Honestly I’ll be surprised if she starts.
Yes it’s a she.
I’m gonna start working on the next drawing challenge soon, but I wanna do some research on the topic first. And plan for the video’s content. If I’m gonna keep doing it I need to at least improve.
These last few days of very little stress have been a beacon of joy for me. I have had slightly less tummy issues, and it’s nice to not have to worry about work. And knowing the holiday season is over (except, that is, for the clearance) just makes me happy.
They’re actually a type of fancy glass, basically.
I was watching a video from creator CelinaSpookyBoo, where she opened a Swarovski Advent calendar.
The Vidja in question
Honestly I’d be disappointed too, Celina. There was very little variety and one was broken! Anyway, it got me wondering, what really are those very expensive shiny things, anywho?
Anyway, while crystals are beautiful and unique and spectacular (*is named Crystal*) I knew that naturally occurring crystals (*clears throat*) are rarely as pure and clear as Swarovski specimens are, I had to know what they actually are.
Glass. Fancy glass.
Swarovski Crystals are legit a man-made scientific masterpiece.
They’re actually led glass crystals created using quartz, sand, and minerals.
They’re a non-naturally occurring glass bobble created with a patented process. Right down to the color and refraction of the “Crystal”.
How tho, bro?
Let’s go straight to the number one source I’d I formation on the internet. Wikipedia!
Wikipedia says nothing about how they came up with the process, just that they are a glad company that has been around since 1895, so almost 130 years. They wanted to create “a Diamond for everyone.” Which, to be honest, failed miserably if you have to spend $175 on a tiny Beauty and the Beast rose… but anyway…
Swarovski glass is produced by melting a mixture of quartz sand, soda, potash and other ingredients at high temperatures.
Turns out they stopped using led in their products, back in 2012. Anything before that time, contains led, in thr form of Lead Tetroxide. The color comes from a various types of metallic coating, creating different colors and effects.
Okay. So?
So? Bro, I got a sweet pair of Swarovski earrings for Christmas.
Listen don’t hate in my picture taking skills. I was too lazy to turn on my light and then The Kid decided to crawl in my bed. OkY?
I’m not dissing or downing or criticizing Swarovski Crystals, in fact, diamonds are super overrated and made way more expensive that necessary. They’re not rare like other more interesting gemstones.
I am also going to pretend in my head that The Hubs found said earrings on an amazing sale and didn’t spend a fortune on them. I am also resisting the urge to do more “research”.
Ya girl just gets curious and likes to know answers to questions. And then share the findings with you in a hastily writing blog.
I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and/or holiday season. It’s finally over. Goodnight.
Things I’ve learned and will hopefully remember next time.
How to add in an image or video Picture-in-picture style: I use VideoLeap to edit my videos, and there’s an option called overlay. I used it to add reference images I used, as well as a TikTok video I “borrowed without permission” because I like the sound of duck feet slapping around.
Edit your actual video completely to your preference FIRST, and add in extras later: editing piece by piece and adding in your features, like Overlay, graphics, sounds, voice over etc, and then having to go back in and rearrange and scale extras to fit and sit where you want will increase edit time.
When using screen record as your primary source of content, you probably don’t need everything. Just snippets: the unholy amount of footage I have of doing the same thing over and over again, that I had to cut, is astronomical.
DON’T MARATHON EDIT: trying to get all the work done in one session is going to exhaust you, and lead to poorer work. Take your time, over multiple sessions, and step by step.
Remember why you are doing it: if my niece hadn’t been so excited about the whole thing, I don’t think I would have done it. It’s hard to quit when a kid has expectations.
SPEEDING THINGS UP IS YOUR FRIEND: this is not an instructional video. You can go at ludicrous speed if you want too, or need too. And it cuts down in final runtime.
In the end
My niece, who seems to be the only one who cares about it, actually watched the whole video this time, at least once. And she chose the next drawing. A dragon. I’m gonna start by doing some research tomorrow.
Spent the bulk of my eight hour shift running back and forth. Mostly selling perfume and cologne. By the time lunch rolled around I was actually willing to go early. I usually prefer a late one, because I like coming back and having only a few hours before home time.
But today my everything hurt: bones, muscles, joints. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if my hair started hurting. And the internal difficulties I’ve been having over the last several months only compounded things. And when one of my managers wanted me to work on top shelf merchandise, which entailed climbing up and down in a ladder over and over, I wanted desperately to hide in a corner and cry.
But all the corners were occupied by shoppers looking to finish buying Christmas gifts. And they were all looking for gift sets they should have been looking for a month ago. We had all kinds of goodies a month ago. Not so much now that it’s three days out.
I’m grateful to have a gift-buying partner who is on the ball and starts as soon as he can. He also wrapped everything but gifts for himself. I’m at least not that lazy, my dudes. When we first got married we started gift buying in July. But we also didn’t have kids then.
There is supposed to be an ice storm over night. The temps are supposed to drop into the single digits. This has led many of my coworkers to assume that we aren’t going to be able to get to work tomorrow, so no one will be there.
However, based on the forecast I’m seeing, the rain won’t last long before it becomes snow, and the temps won’t drop until after the snow has stopped. So, my theory is I’ll be able to get to work fine.
But I’m only thinking that because if I don’t go in and not risk my life in possibly dangerous roads, everyone else will show up, and I’ll be the one will the unexcused absence.
So that means, unless my husband crawls out of bed at 6am and says, “honey don’t go to work, it’s too dangerous” (he currently believes it’s not gonna be bad enough to skip), then I’m going ice skating in a Ram. If you don’t see a post from me Saturday morning, then I died in an ice related accident.
If you recall, I recently began a self-created drawing challenge. The first challenge was a sunflower and I wanted to commemorate it by creating a sticker. Not that I have the means to do so, but I have Google and the Toky Tokys.
So, after multiple days and several hours of trying, hundreds of views for various YouTube and TT creators videos on the subject, I finally figured out how to MAKE THE WHITE BORDER AROUND AN IMAGE.
This is it. This is the sticker. Sans Greenish background of course.
Now, I haven’t got the materials yet to make this a physical reality, but I rode the high of figuring it out a long time. Until I went hunting for my checkbook to pay a bill and couldn’t find it.
But I still feel good about it.
Eventually I’m going to have the material and attempt to print and cut the stickers out. I plan on selling the about 3 inch by 3 inch stickers for $2. Not that anyone will buy them but I’m 100% gonna slap one on my truck with my “Hi, Robin!” sticker.
And I plan on continuing the Drawing Challenge. I’ve got a duck I just finished, and a video to come plate for that. Yes the duck is going to have its one phrase too.
*wink*
Anyway, The Kid conned her way into my bed, so I’m not getting much sleep, so I’d better get in that!
I have this thing about doing things I’ve never done before. It’s a fear of messing up, of looking stupid, of not doing it right. Is that anxiety? It feels like it’s anxiety. Or some other mental defect.
Anyway, I’ve been a licensed driver for about nine and a half years. I didn’t get that privilege until I was almost 30. If it hadn’t been for my In Laws wanting to move, I would still be carted around like a stressed chihuahua in a dog stroller, unwillingly. But I would be saving a lot on gas.
And to be completely transparent The Spouse is the number one reason why I’m legally mobile. He’s the only one who consistently put me in the drivers seat learn.
Since the beginning of my time as a driver, Spouse has been getting my gas. It started as free gas for employees and their spouses at his work. That went away, and I started having to buy it.
I had a tiny Chevy Cobalt so it was much cheaper but that’s beside the point.
It’s been a while, so my memory is foggy, but one of my first days driving, my car was low on gas so stopped and pulled up to the pump. I think the check engine light came on so I ended up calling my husband. I remember thinking first that it would figure that something would go wrong with the car as soon as I started driving it and then thinking of course I have to call my husband when need help. Eventually he showed up and we figured it out. He ended up pumping gas that day and from then on.
I will not go into detail but it has recently been brought to my attention that my inability to learn how to do something as simple as pump my own gas is more than just inconvenient.
It is however worth mentioning that someone is an enabler and never forced the issue nor will they use their big words and say what they are really thinking. But I digress.
How to pump your own gas.
(If you pay at the pump like the anxiety-ridden anti-social queen you are)
1. Insert Card, remove card when prompted.
2. Remove nozzle or press the button of your gas choice.
3. Do the other thing you didn’t do
4. Insert nozzle into tank. But do it just right or you’ll be afraid you are gassing the pavement.
5. There’s a little flicky thing that will hold the trigger on the nozzle. Proceed to feel like an idiot while trying to figure this out.
6. Watch the count on the pump to see how much you’ve pumped
7. Nope your nozzle fell out. You gotta really shove that in there. There ya go.
8. Once it’s in there right you don’t have to hold it. But you are going to hold it anyway because that whole “gas is expensive and you don’t want to make concrete flammable”.
9. WHAT IS THAT DRIPPING WHY IS THERE DRIPPING?! THERE SHOULD NOT BE A DRIP COMING FROM UNDER YOUR TRUCK (said dripping was in fact just water dripping from the bed of the truck from rain).
10. The tank is still filling at the same rate hopefully we can pretend it’s fine.
11. Gas fumes kinda make ya woozy.
12. Getting close now. Put your finger on the flippy thing so you can stop the gas flow when you need to.
13. How does this thing—oh it stopped. Right at $50. Luckily that’s as far as you needed it to go. Remove the nozzle. It’s heavier than you think.
14. Worry you’re going to accidentally squirt gas all over yourself and the surrounding area a la Zoolander.
15. Replace the nozzle in the nozzle’s home. Yes, it goes there it’ll sit, just, yeah you got it.
16. Yes you want your receipt. Gotta have proof you paid and didn’t just take off without paying. Yes, of course the people inside know you paid, you’re not going to have cops surrounding you before you get back on the main road, chill out.
17. Start the vehicle after double checking that your receipt is right and seeing how full that actually got your tank.
18. Drive away wondering if you’re just gonna outright tell Spouse that you did it yourself, or wait until he asks if you need him to go get your gas and just tell him no. You instead just wordlessly hand him the receipt and say nothing else.
Oh wait, there’s supposed to be life lessons.
I want to say that it is no one person’s fault that I never pumped my own gas. If I am not made to do something I am whole-heartedly NOT GOING TO DO IT.
Plus I’m an adult and no one is the boss of me. Except the 17 managers with a higher pay grade than me at work. But that’s beside the point.
I have learned to do a lot of things myself. I’ve installed a ceiling fan, a dishwasher and a doggie door. I’ve put oil and washer fluid in my car and my truck. Most recently I changed a fuse in my truck in order to make the washer fluid sprayer work. Now it’s doing something else, but again, beside the point.
The point is, I learned those things out of necessity, and because I knew it wasn’t going to get done if I didn’t do it myself.
I pumped my own gas out of SPITE. Pure, old fashioned, unadulterated, unreasonable spite. Not because I wanted to do it, not because I knew I wouldn’t have gas if I didn’t do it. But because I suddenly felt, for reasons I will not reiterate, like asking for that one thing made me feel like a burden. Because suddenly the one thing that someone else had always done for me was suddenly verbalized as a burden.
So out of spite I will not ask for that one thing again. Simply put.
The lesson here is: do not learn from me. Why? Because spite is one of those terrible things, much like hate—a similar feeling—a poisonous emotion that can eat away at you. It’ll corrode your insides, your mind, your heart, like acid on flesh. It’ll burn you and leave you scarred. And it’s ugly. Once you learn spite and hate they stain you.
I am already stained from years and years of hating myself and situations I put myself in, so I’m already ruined on the inside.
Other important lessons here may include: do things in spite of anxiety: Pump your own gas, it wasn’t that hard, you just hate the feeling you get dealing with new things. Make your own doctor appointments, phone calls won’t kill you. Use your big words, no one will know how you feel if you don’t tell them, and it’s important to say something before you explode. Also, don’t do like me and shut your mouth when no one listens or cares.
You’re problems are not bigger or worse than anyone else’s, everyone copes with their own problems differently than everyone else. Do not compare yourself to other people because everyone is different.
And get a blog where you can shoot ridiculousness out of your ears and those closest to you won’t know a thing because they don’t read it.
Thought I’d share with you a list of some of my favorite things. From skin care to stationary to food and beverages.
Food and Beverage
Canada Dry Blackberry Ginger Ale
If Canada Dry made this stuff year round and made it available everywhere you can get carbonated beverages, I might have a replacement for Pepsi. I have already purchased four 2 liters of this stuff.
Terry’s Chocolate Orange
Yes, another seasonal favorite. I live in America, we’re we can’t be certain that our residents are t smart enough to swallow a toy (think kinder eggs). But then again, the tide pod thing started with the states, right?
Anyway, I have never seen Terry’s Chocolate Oranges near me unless it’s been Christmas, and once at Easter, but that was, like, a decade ago! I’d seriously be in trouble if the were around all the time.
I love these things so much that they are mentioned by name in Black Friday: A Zombie Story.
I’ve only purchased eight this year. Thank the lord I share. The Kid loves them too.
Health and Beauty
Equate Foaming Facial Cleanser
Did you know that 90% of off brand items are the exact same ingredients as their name brand counterparts? This Equate face wash is the same as the CeraVe Foaming Face Wash. Name brand is $12 at Walmart right now. Equate version is $5.97!
I’ve used this for years now, and I will say I’ve gotten compliments, mostly old ladies, that my skin looks amazing. Lol
My absolute favorite perfume. I don’t know if it was the shape of the bottle or a Seventeen Magazine sample page that drew me too it, but I wanted a bottle of it for years. I never had the funds or the access to obtain it. But way back in 2008, on my honeymoon in Gatlinburg Tennessee, we found a perfume outlet and there she was, in a gift set with lotion, body wash, roll on and travel bag.
I have owned three whole bottles of it over the years. The sweet melting scent is described as floral, most floral scents give me a migraine. This one gives of a sweet light scent to me, with some citrus and powdery notes. It’s a light scent that puts me in the mid of cupcakes.
Stationary and Crafts
Pen+Gear 5 Subject 6×8 notebooks
I have three of these notebooks. Black, teal, purple. The purple has grease stains from my lip balm making days (coconut oil and shea butter). They all have sections dedicated to writing, budgeting, and journaling. I have three mostly because I keep misplacing them, but also because I just love these notebooks.
They’re small enough to carry with you, the wire binding is big enough to shove a pencil and ink pen in, they have durable covers, perforated pages (even though I don’t like tearing pages out), and five sections, with a pocket in the first divider.
I’m currently trying to keep all my WIP notes in them, though sometimes they get misplaced. It’s unintentional I’m just forgetful and clumsy.
Home Goods
Primo Water Dispenser
This is the best $200 purchase I’ve ever made. It was purchased on a whim but also I’d been considering it. When I had some extra cash lying around I decided, ok I’m going for it. It just so happened to be on sale!
This bad boy does hot and cold. And the hot is hat enough for me to use to cook The Kid’s noodles (the ones in the foam cup) without using the microwave. We just fill the cup with hot water and let it “marinate”. The cold is cold enough to not need ice if you don’t want it.
Dawn Dish Washing Soap
I have yet to find a soap that makes me feel like my dishes are getting clean. The suds hold up for long periods, it’s not completely outrageous, and it’s eBay my mom always used. I guess you can say I’m indoctrinated to using it.
Also look at the baby duck! They use it in oil spill clean up!
Honorable Mentions
Apple Pencil (first gen)
Air Pods Pro
Good writing tools.
WiFi bulbs controlled by an app
Turns out there aren’t that many things I use every day besides my phone. But these are some of my favorite items that either make my life easier or more pleasant.
For now, though, I’m falling asleep between paragraphs. So, I’ll say goodnight!
I’ve tried for many years to set a schedule for myself. An eating schedule, a writing schedule, a plan my life away schedule. But I am currently trying to create for myself some semblance of a blogging schedule. I feel like doing so would create consistency and consistency will bring me more readers.
By the look of this blog currently, it seems that consistency must frighten me, or something. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to the nonsense I spew forth into the void that is a blog with low readership. But I keep on keeping on like a choo choo train around an endless track.
Because I am stubborn and refuse to break my streak. This will be day 30, FYI.
So, let’s set one thing in proverbial stone right now, shall we? Henceforth, Fridays shall be known as “Fiction Fridays”. I have done posts in the past with the heading of “Fiction Friday”, namely at least one during Birthday Month Blogs. I think, honestly, I could be wrong, I’m usually wrong about a lot of things. But while I am trying to maintain a streak on this blog, I am going to attempt to create fiction on a weekly basis.
The goal for this being, obviously, gaining readership, and consistency. But also doing so will give me a full-on week to write the thing and make it sound less like I’m making it up half an hour before I post it. Which is usually the case 99.99% of the time. Now the question is this. Should I make this “Fiction Friday” thing a different story each week, sort of like “Randomized Fiction”, or should I make it installments of the same story until it is complete? For the heck of it, let’s throw a poll in just to see if anyone will vote.
I mean, I might as well use as many premium features as possible, right? I usually post any polls on my Facebook page. But I have considered moving them to the website.
I have yet to figure out what will happen on the rest of the days of the week, but I know at least a small amount of time on one or both of my days off from my day job will be dedicated to nothing but working on one or more of my NUMEROUS Works-in-Progress projects. Those are the Pretend Fantasy Novel, the 2nd Story project, the drawing challenge (I need to finish that dang duck), and I’m sure there is something I’m forgetting.
Now, that’s not to say that there might not pop up some fiction on other days of the week, we will just have to see how I feel or what comes to me at the time. But between working for a living, motherhood, and that sleep thing I have to get once in a while, I have hardly any time to get anything done besides wallow in self pity. But we will see what we can manage.
For now, I will bed you a Dieu. Work will come early and I’m sure The Kid will be crawling in my bed within the hour. Goodnight, friends.
To be frank, the why can be summed up with one word, and that one word is a who. Mom.
You see, my mother was one of those mom’s who encouraged, to the fullest extent of the law, her children, if she thought her children could make something of themselves. And even if she didn’t really think they could make a life of it, but if it made them happy. And I truly believe it made her happy to encourage us and cheer us on, and root for us.
Take my brother, for example. My brother, the second oldest in the family and the second son, was a football player. He was, I believe, on the first football team at our elementary school. Now, when my biography gets written in 115 years, don’t quote me. But that’s how I remember it. Both brothers played basketball for a minute, but Second really took to football like no body’s business.
And even though she knew that he could get seriously injured doing it, and she knew that if he did she couldn’t legally race onto the field and pummel the ever-loving nonsense out of the boy who dared to tackle her player, she thoroughly enjoyed cheering him and the rest of the team on from the bleachers. This did have a lot to do with the fact that she made friends with the other moms, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.
She loved to cheer her children on. When the Oldest was the first to graduate high school, she was thrilled. Anytime we did anything good, she was happy for us, and encouraged us.
She is also the reason why I stuck with the education major in college. Sophomore year I wanted to change my major to creative writing. I also had a point where I wanted to drop out, take a few semesters off, and join the circus get a job. But that’s not what we’re discussing here either.
“Tear Drops Frozen In Time”
When I was in elementary school, I’m not sure what grade (it was a LONG time ago) I wrote a story. “Duh, Crystal” is what you are probably thinking as you roll your eyes and consider scrolling on. But if you stick with me, I will get to the point. I’m not sure this was my first ever story. I’m not even sure how much I wrote. But I can tell you what it was about and how it began. It was written in a notebook, not spiral bound, and the loose sheets were tucked into a folder with my school’s mascot on them.
Now, in that grade, in my state, we did writing portfolios as an end-of-year assessment of our knowledge. These portfolios usually included various types of writing, including fiction pieces. That year, I remember a teacher, who wasn’t usually at our school, there helping us with those writing portfolios. I remember spending a lot of time in what passed as a computer lab in a rural Kentucky elementary school in the early 90s and that woman being there.
It was around this time that I wrote “Tear Drops”. And I remember either myself or Mom mentioning that I should take my story to school and let that teacher read it. Now keep in mind the story was not finished, and had it been, it would have been a LONG one. Because I have always been long winded.
Thinking about the story now, I am remembering other stories I wrote, and wishing I’d kept copies of all of them.
Also, honey, I asked for a frickin’ TYPEWRITER for Christmas one year. Second (the brother) kept trying to throw me off the scent when I guess that the biggish box under the tree was my typewriter. Man, I miss that clickity clack sometimes.
Back to the point. My mom was my biggest fan, always. And she was the first and for a long time only person I nervously handed my stories over to for them to be read. And when she read that one, she said she loved it and it would be a great story.
And, as I said, I can’t remember whose idea it was for me to take that story to school and share with this woman I did not really know, who I assume I thought was a bigwig when it came to writing. Because I shared it with her and she too seemed to love the story. And she did something that was probably bad for me in the long run. She told me that she knew some people in publishing and said that she would tell them about my story.
You do not, under any circumstances tell a child, especially one who longs for acceptance and praise, that you’re going to do something that will make them dream. Because that kid, me, will take that thing and make it HER ENTIRE PERSONALITY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.
I let a stranger make me believe I was going to be a published author as a child.
But listen, dear readers, because I am not the only one who was offended when that mystery lady failed to make me a famous author before puberty. Because who do you think was the first person who I ran right home to and told about this silly lady in the computer room who is gonna talk to her book friends?
Yup. Da Momma.
Eventually, portfolio writing season came to an end and that lady disappeared from my school like my paycheck after the bills are paid. I never saw her again, until one fateful evening, where we were, ironically, in line at waiting to pay our way in to a high school football game (where my brother was playing, we only went when he was a player). I’m not sure how much time had passed between the two meetings, but I’m not lying when I say my mother wanted to ask her about it.
I remember telling her that the woman probably wouldn’t even remember all that, and to forget about it.
Unfortunately
It was sometime later when it came to pass that the story in question, “Tear Drops Frozen in Time” went missing. It went missing because it got placed into storage that ended up probably being put in long term storage (literally a crawl space in a decrepit building behind our house). It was placed there because I should have been paying more attention to what was going where.
Sadly, though, my mom blamed herself for it going missing, and its likely eventual burning in a trash pile later on. I don’t care what I told her and how many times I tried to tell her not to worry about it, but she blamed herself for it for years. And if I could have asked her about it on her death bed, I’m sure she would have still blamed herself, even decades later.
In conclusion, it is her fault. Her fault not for the story going missing, but for that story setting me on this pointless uphill path of wanting to be a writer. I blame her for that, and that is all, when it comes to the story. Her faith and hope and absolute enthusiasm that we could do great things. And you know, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Except that story going missing. I would fix that bit.
Bonus Content: “Tear Drops” A Synopsis.
Like I said, it has been multiple decades, since I wrote the story, but I can give you the gist of what it was about. The story was centered those glass teardrop shaped ornaments that usually hang off chandeliers and lamps. I don’t know for sure where I got it, but I know where I left it and that’s yet another story for another time. Okay, it’s not that big a story, when I was young and I hyperfused on one thing I would tend to pack that thing around with me wherever I went. This time, I took the glass tear drop to my uncle’s house for the weekend. All of us kids went, and they had two little girls younger than us. We were playing in an old van and I had it wrapped up in a tissue or handkerchief and I tucked it in the cubby in the door and forgot it there. Never went back to that house either, because they moved.
Any who, “Tear Drops Frozen in Time” was going to be about an adopted girl who, one day on her way home from school, obviously while carrying around a teardrop shaped crystal, sees the light from the sun change. Shimmering lights (like what you’d see when sun comes through crystals, like a prism, or rainbows are all over the ground when monsters (?) like she’s never seen before, come out of the light and kidnap her.
But also, in another world, there are two women who look a great deal alike (twins?). Except one is clearly evil and has the other good woman locked up. There’s this great sphere with shapes in it. Some of the spaces are empty and some are not. One space is teardrop shaped. These women, who are sisters it turns out, argue.
The evil woman wants to capture this girl because she has the teardrop and the good one, who wants out to stop her evil sister, is SHOCKER the girl’s MOTHER! The girl is actually from this other world and the teardrops are powerful crystals that can do many things, including but not limited to traveling between worlds. The mother sent the girl to the mortal world/our world/ boring old frumpy earth to protect her and the teardrop she carries everywhere was a gift to help protect her.
Crash Landing 