Category Archives: Opinion Piece

Why, Santy Claus, why?

28 Wednesday Dec 2022

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece, Truth

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

My dude, why? also if you don’t get it the title is a reference to the book “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” Cindy Lou Who says it. I should know I’ve read it a million times.

Today’s Question of the Day: Why do we insist our children believe in Santa Claus?

I remember being in fourth or fifth grade, having a Christmas party, and one girl in my class telling everyone that she still believed in Santa Claus.

Now I’m not sure when I stopped believing, if I ever did believe. Perhaps it was that one Christmas when our parents made us hide in the bedroom and cover our eyes while they set up Christmas presents for us, which they’d just got that very day, because someone loaned them the money to do so.

Perhaps my mom slipped up one day and said that she got the gift instead. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter

I recently saw a Tiktok (yes, a tiktok) from a woman who said that her 9 year old son was starting to not believe Santa is real and so he wrote a letter and took it directly to a North Pole mail box before she could lay eyes on it. The letter was asking Santa for things he hadn’t mentioned to her and he wanted to prove he was in fact not real when he didn’t receive the things he asked for.

So this who thing led me to the question: why do we insist our children believe?

Quickie History: Santa Claus

The legend or belief in Santa can be traced all the way back to when the years were counted with just three digits. Sometime around 280 AD around present day Turkey.

There isn’t a lot known about the dude, but St. Nicholas, aka Nicholas of Bari, aka Nicholas the Wondermaker (that one is cool), is the patron saint of (among other things) children.

Most of what is written about him is referred to as folklore because it’s mostly just tales of good deeds he’s done and joy he’s caused. There’s no actual proof he really did anything.

I also surmise that the belief in him grew to what it has become today because people needed that thing to grasp onto, much like a belief in god, something that can bring them peace and joy. I image that having something like a strange man bringing gifts to the masses just out of pure kindness was something people needed 2 hundred something AD.

So, I assume that the belief in Santa Claus basically just comes from the readiness to believe in something that can spread joy and happiness, and give one the warm fuzzy feelings those icky normal non-cynical angry people strive to have.

But why INSIST on it?

I can understand the desire to foster a sense of joy, excitement, and imagination in a child. I can understand the need to see a child’s eyes light up when you read “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas”, and the wonder eight flying reindeer would bring.

But insisting on carrying on the belief that a large old man in a red and white suit rides a sleigh pulled but flying reindeer and visits each and every house while everyone sleeps, just to drop off iPads and hoverboards is a little bonkers to me.

Asking your child to sit on the knee of a jolly stranger with a white beard (real or fake) knowing full well that man is not the owner and operator of an elf sweatshop that manufactures toys is also ludicrous.

We spend their lives ingraining into their tiny heads, don’t talk to strangers, and yet we watch on smiling and taking pictures as a stranger listens to their Christmas wish list. My kid asked for “just robux” fyi.

All this also brings to mind the Elf on the Shelf. That odd looking stuffed creature that side eyes your children all day long, claiming without words to have an in with the man in the red coat. He’ll tell the big guy if your kid did if brush their teeth or they got a cookie from the cookie jar without asking.

Instead it’s a stuffed toy that parents are willing to make an ungodly mess just to convince their child of the lie.

The Elf and Santa Claus are in fact NOT in cahoots with each other. But they are both a fictional tool we as parents Emily during the holiday season in order to attempt to keep our kids in line. They have both become our means of control over our kids. The problem is we are less likely to actually NOT give them their Christmas presents we already paid for because we don’t want to have wasted our money.

Don’t get me wrong

I believe what Santa Claus represents and what the whole purpose of maintaining the belief in him should be is the joy of giving, the wonderment and special time that is the Christmas season.

The Kid still believes. I’m pretty sure she does to an extent. I think she’s right in the cusp of growing out of that. And I already know I’m not going to force it out of her nor am I going to convince her he is real. There are more disappointing things she’ll have to deal with as she gets older. And letting her find out on her own, asking the big question, is something I’m not going to rush or put off.

And I’m sure for some, likely most parents, having your child let go of that belief is a sign that they are growing up, and generally speaking, as parents, we don’t want that, usually. I’ve already told The Kid on multiple occasions that I don’t want her to grow up. Her response is usually, “I can’t help it!”

What do i propose?

If your kid at whatever age comes to you and asks you the one Christmas question to rule them all? No not “are we getting a puppy?” But, “Is Santa Claus real?”

If you have you have younger children and you aren’t ready to take away the small ones’ Christmas wonder at Santa Claus and his bag of toys, well, start with what do you think? And maybe ask what they want to believe. If they want the truth, then

I’m kidding.

Tell them. Explain to them where he came from and why the belief exists and why you lied to them for so many years. Ok I’m kidding about that last bit.

But also tell them that the joy that belief gives others, like those potential smaller kids, is something to protect until a time they should start asking questions.

I read an article years ago about a mom whose son stopped believing, asked The Question, and was giving an answer. But she explained to him the same way she had her older child, what the point in believing was, and why he should not take it away from his younger sibling, before they were ready. And then she told him that his older sibling actually participated in it. Not only did they encourage the idea by talking about Santa but (if I remember correctly) they helped to pick out a gift for the kids who didn’t know the truth yet. Maybe they left a message.

Either way, I think it’s important to let your child know that it isn’t their place to take that away from another child, when they’re ready they will ask the question. And especially if that child has other parents. It’s up the the parents to decide whether they want to maintain that belief.

But also I think it’s borderline child abuse to force them to believe in something when they clearly do not. Because at a certain point a child’s mind becomes capable of independent thoughts and making informed and practical decisions about what they want to think and believe. As long as what that child isn’t hurting themselves or others in any way, physical or mental, they’re entitled to those thoughts and beliefs.

Also

Not all fat people are jolly. That’s a stereotype. A ln increasing number of us are clinically depressed and anxiety ridden. I have never been jolly.

But my belly do jiggle when I laugh.

Advertisement

Being too rich makes you crazy

14 Monday Nov 2022

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Welcome to my TED Talk

Having too much money at your disposal makes you absolutely bonkers. I believe it’s a fact of not having to worry about where your next meal is coming from or how your gonna pay for a new roof when it’s starts leaking through your ceiling and onto your head when you sleep.

That got a little too personal.

Case In Point: Kanye West is Bonkers

In case, on the off chance, you’ve been away from the internet for, I don’t know, ever, Kanye West is a perfect example of how having too much money makes you crazy. “Ye” or whatever he goes by now, has absolutely lost the plot and forgotten what it’s like to be a person human being.

Most notably and within the last six months West posted to Twitter, obviously, that he’s “going death con 3 in Jewish People”.

A screenshot of a screenshot of the most bonkers tweet to ever be tweeted.

First off, Mr. “I Don’t Read Books” it’s “DEFCON”. And it is a defense readiness condition system used my the military or Air Force in order to determine how ready they’d need to be in case of imminent danger or threat of nuclear warfare. If I’m wrong blame me and Wikipedia.

But most importantly he is exhibiting this classic “bonkers” symptom: antisemitism.

Thank you Mr. The Google

Antisemitism was a very real reason for World War II and we all know how that turned out. Hint: NOT GOOD for a lot of people but mostly JEWISH PEOPLE.

Based on the barely decipherable content of the tweet in question (pictured above) Mr KanYe is blaming his problems on Jewish People. Now, while I may be influenced by the internet I have no idea what problems he may or may not think he’s having. They are likely something he’s made up in his own head instead of perfectly normal problems likely to be suffered by average non-incredibly wealthy people.

Because the only problems that he could be having right now are those you have by simply being uncommonly wealthy.

Let me take a moment to make a statement of my own. I want to make it undeniably clear that I am by no means making light of possible serious mental health problems of any one individual or group of people. Through my random readings and my more recent focus on the subject at hand is have learned, only vague details of his being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder.

While a “fan” recently claimed he was “off his meds” West did not outright deny the fact, just talked his way around if calling it “dismissive” to claim he’s off his meds “anytime I speak up.”

My use of the term Bonkers is not poke fun at or make light of mental health struggles.

While Kanye has been banned from Twitter (I believed he blamed the Jews for that one too) he has managed to attempt to use multiple social media platforms.

He continued to mess things up for himself by saying whatever pops up in his head. Because of his multiple antisemitic remarks he’s been dropped from companies, he’s been shunned by brands and pushed away by collaborators.

A person is granted freedom of speech from the government t by the constitution. But when you are in the public eye, and Kanye is very much in thr public eye, your words can come back and bite you in the butt. And I’m the golden age of the internet I’d which we live, you can say one thing and it will reach millions within the hour.

Someone like him, especially considering his history and because of his wealth, is being watched constantly. One problem that he definitely has that is 100% his fault, is the responsibility the think before he speaks. Because his every word will be scrutinized within minutes of sharing.

If you are in the public eye, you don’t have the freedom of speech. You have the freedom to say what you want, but the responsibility to use your words wisely. Lest they be used against you in the court of public opinion.

Train of Thought.

05 Saturday Mar 2022

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Women wear making because it makes them feel beautiful.

But why does make up make us feel beautiful?

It’s because we were told our whole likes by society that make up makes you beautiful.

And why do we want to look beautiful?

Because it helps our confidence. But why is our confidence linked to beauty?

Because beauty is pleasing to someone else’s eye.

We feel good about looking beautiful because other people have always told us that looking beautiful is good because it is pleasing to look at.

We cannot see ourselves all the time, only when looking in a mirror.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Beholder means a person who sees or observes someone or some thing.

So the person who sees the the beauty defines it. What one person sees as beautiful another may not.

But collectively and over the span of years and years society has taught us that beauty is attractive or pleasing to the eye

And makeup can make you beautiful.

So whether we say we wear makeup to make ourselves feel better or not, we’re doing it because of someone else.

Because someone else’s opinion of beauty.

Thank you for experiencing my chaos with me.

-c

I never realized how important melatonin has become in getting my child to sleep

29 Saturday Jan 2022

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Until we ran out of her melatonin and I forgot to get more

Crap

So why don’t we learn about melatonin together while we wait for her to fall asleep naturally.

Hey Crystal! Why DO you give you’re Under 10 child Melatonin?

My child has ADHD. Through months of stress and frustration that I won’t go into we decided to see a doctor and she was diagnosed. At some point there will be a detailed post but this ain’t it.

When we put her on medicine for it, we were told that it could cause sleep issues. She’s had them for some time but we’d never seriously considered melatonin or anything of that sort.

We started giving her a 1mg melatonin gummy every night at the beginning of our bedtime routine. At this stage, we have other steps and there’s plenty of time for it to kick in. By the time our routine is complete, sometimes before, she’s out.

She took her last one last night, and I knew very quickly I would regret not picking another container up. So I’m writing this post while I wait impatiently for her to doze off.

Okay that was the back story. What is Melatonin anyway?

According to Wikipedia (that all-knowing website we all use but never donate to) Melatonin is a hormone naturally released at night by the pineal glad (no. The PI-NEE-AL gland, get your mind out the gutter[I will neither confirm nor deny whether I had to Google the pronunciation]). It is known to help regulate the sleep and wake cycle.

I also read a handful of times that it is released by your body when triggered by darkness. Perhaps that’s why it tells you to turn out the lights and put down the screens?

Basically meaning when the release of melatonin is triggered it helps promote a restful and relaxed state so you can fall asleep.

I personally have been using it a few years now. I take a chewable 10mg before I lay down, so I fall asleep easier the night before a workday. I do fall asleep faster.

I also have way weirder dreams.

“Evidence for its benefit for this use, however, is not strong.”

Wikipedia (UH EXCUSE YOU.)

Cool cool. So it’s made by the brain. But wait HOW DO THEY MAKE THE SUPPLEMENT

I’m so glad you asked!

Mm yes you’ll like this

Melatonin supplements can be found in natural and synthetic forms. The synthetic form is created completely in a pharmaceutical lab and is molecularly identical to what your own body produces.

But the natural melatonin supplements are made from the pineal gland of animals. Oh yes. They extract the melatonin from brains of animals.

HORRIFYING. However…

Throughout the last, oh, ten minutes of googling, I tried to search for “natural melatonin supplements”. Most every result only mentioned increasing your melatonin production naturally. So I am assuming that most of not all melatonin supplements on the market today are in fact synthetic.

I have my child’s empty container of melatonin before me. I’m going to email the manufacturer, just to see if they’ll respond, and ask them how this particular melatonin is made. This post will be updated in the text box below if they respond.

Thank the LORT she’s finally asleep.

It only took, like, an hour. She’s honestly been asleep for like fifteen minutes I was just so wrapped up in this post that haven’t stopped.

Yes, I wrote this post to soothe my mind while my child soothed herself without being dosed extra melatonin that her body did not produce. Come to think of it if she weren’t scared of the dark she might sleep easier.

Anyway, my very limited research skills have provided me with some entertainment. And my day job influenced me to Google how Melatonin supplements were made months ago. So I already knew that part.

Also the number of people who firmly believe the use of vitamins and supplements will cure them or keep them from getting sick at all is absolutely terrifying and depressing. The human race’s reliance on supplements might be getting out of hand, especially due to the current state of affairs *cough* pandemic *cough*.

Yes. They are useful and helpful and some people truly need some of these. And I advocate and encourage the use of a daily multivitamin (equate women’s daily for YEARS) for most everyone I talk to. But there are an alarming number of supplements sold in stores that are NOT regulated or tested by the FDA. Always keep that in mind.

And with this I’ll leave you!

Thanks for reading!

-c

“Can you tell me where the melanoma is?”

That one customer like 7 or 8 years ago. Pretty sure she was looking for melatonin.

Here’s a list of things everyone needs or wants to hear at some point. There’s at least one thing that everyone might need to hear right now.

07 Tuesday Dec 2021

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece, Random

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

  • You’re doing great.
  • I’m proud of you.
  • You are beautiful just the way you are.
  • Do what makes you happy, so long as it isn’t hurting you or anyone else.
  • Love yourself more
  • Take care of your mental health. It’s just as important as your physical health.
  • Hey. Eat that treat. Everything is fine in moderation.
  • “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Elenor Roosevelt said that.
  • YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
  • Just keep swimming. Dory said that.
  • Don’t impulse buy that thing. ESPECIALLY if it’s over $100. I learned my lesson.
    • Unless you’re filthy rich. You do what you want.
  • TAKE. CARE. OF. YOUR. FEET.
    • don’t question me.
  • Not everyone is going to appreciate your weirdness. Uniqueness. Same difference. But there’s gonna be someone that does.
  • You DO NOT have to be a “Christian” to be a good person. You just gotta wanna.
  • Keep up the good work.
  • Be very careful with credit cards.
    • In fact just don’t get them.
  • Adopt don’t shop.
    • Don’t adopt unless you plan on keeping it for life.
  • Love never dies as long as one person who loves is still alive.
  • I might not know you. But I love you.
    • Unless you’re mean to animals and/or children. Then you get no love from me.
  • “A heart can will never be practical until it can be made unbreakable.”- L Frank Baum said that in The wizard of Oz.
    • But perhaps an unbreakable heart feels less. And what fun would that be?
  • Apple Watch has a tip calculator.
  • A perfect nights sleep is dang near impossible.
    • Nap time is highly encouraged. BUT you might wake up feeling worse.
  • Sometimes crying makes you feel better.
  • do what you love. Unless it’s something like murder. Don’t do that.
  • Spellcheck your tattoos before you get them.
  • Chapstick on paper cuts. Trust me.
  • You will forget the physical pain. You will remember how badly it hurt. But you cannot recall it. Once it’s a memory it doesn’t hurt anymore.
  • Your hard time might feel different to someone else. Don’t judge the way someone reacts to their own situation. We all hurt and heal in different ways. Respect and love go a very long way.

What thing would you share with the world if you could?

Thanks for reading. Hope at least one thing was helpful or made you thing.

-c

Hot Take?

23 Saturday Oct 2021

Posted by in Hot Take, Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

Episode One: Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter

Blue Lives Matter

White Lives Matter

Differently Abled Lives Matter

Children’s Lives Matter

LGBTQILMNOP (Alphabet Mafia) Lives Matter*

Old People Lives Matter

Animal Lives Matter

But why specifically Black Lives?

Because for such a very very long time Black people were so poorly treated, treated like property, like lower life forms, like they were dirty or less than white people, and people still believe they are less than, not equal.

Because despite the times changing, black people are still being treated poorly in this country. Because of the color of their skin.

All lives DO matter. But when not all lives are treated equally, then more attention needs to be paid to those unequal to the rest.

“Hot Take?“

The title of this post is “Hot Take?” “Black Lives Matter is a “hot take” to some. “All Lives Matter” is as well. But the question mark means I am (or was once) confused. Honestly I’m still a little confused sometimes, but that is 100% just my faulty brain pan.

I became slightly less confused when I watched a video in my Facebook Watch feed. It was a tiktok duet(still generally annoyed by tiktok but I’m old so). Basically one person was explaining BLM and another person was watching/reacting (why tho). The video explained that Black Lives Matter because of the way they have been persecuted, mistreated, and judged. White people (that’s me!) do not, have not, and will not face the same injustices they have.

I wish I could find the video but alas… nope.

Listen this was months ago and we are relying on my poorly functioning old lady brain here. But my eyes were opened slightly wider to the idea of BLM.

When BLM became a thing, my first thought was, “Well, yeah. But doesn’t everyone?” Because I was raised to believe that we are all equal, despite our differences, so we’re all important.

Vidja

When your neighbors house is burning down you’re not gonna stop the fire department and tell them to spray your house with water too, just because another house is on fire.

BUT if a forest fire (California I’m worried for you) is threatening the entire block, the fire department is gonna try and keep it at bay to save everyone’s homes and lives.

Right now, the fire is burning a group of people. A fire of hate. That fire isn’t burning anyone else the way it’s been burning these people for many years. (Again, California. She’s crispy.)

They matter, they are important. They are human too and they do not deserve burn. (Neither does California).

In Conclusion (finally).

I promise I won’t talk about California anymore.

All Lives Matter. But when the climate of a nation is volatile to a specific group of lives, for whatever reason, then attention needs to be paid to those lives.

A Final Note

I know I have friends and family who aren’t going to appreciate this particular post. Not that most of them read my blog. I know how the majority of my family feel about this topic and many others (hence “hot take”).

My oldest brother once told me he likes talking politics and such with me because I’m smart. He said I’m smart because I went to college. That’s… A complicated assumption.

I also think he likes it because I will argue with him. Because I hate politics. He knows this, obviously.

But I’m not here to please anyone, I barely know how to make me happy. I’m here to share with others what I know, how I feel, and what I believe. If we agree, neat-o. If we don’t, well. You do you, friend. I’m not here to hate either.

Like my momma always said, hate is a strong word. You should only use it when you mean it.

*I sometimes get tongue-tied when I say LGBTQ and I’m confused as to what letters I need to add and the Alphabet Mafia thing is fun.

As always. Thanks for Reading. Also, polite and friendly discussion accepted and welcomed below. I moderate my comments, they’re rare but I do, and hate will be swiftly deleted. By swiftly I mean probably in the morning it’s passed my bedtime.

-c

“You Don’t Need…” (3)

15 Saturday Aug 2020

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece, Truth, You Don’t Need

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Life lessons from someone who tried to be a teacher.

… to be a Christian to be a good person.

You just need to BE. A. GOOD. PERSON.

“You’re really nice. You must be a Christian.”

Some lady I was nice to at work once.

Your Image Isn’t JUST What You Show People

Someone the other day shared this image on Facebook. I commented with: “And sometimes very good people are covered in tattoos and go to church.
Every body is different every person is different and every heart is different.”

Your appearance does not define you. Your religion does not define you. Someone who had been baptized or saved can still do bad things.

It is your words, and how you say them, your actions, and how you take them. And your heart and how you use it.

If it’s not already obvious, I am legitimately NOT a Christian. I’m not an unbeliever either. I’m a not sure what to believer 🤷‍♀️. I’ve struggled with what to believe for many years and especially so after my mother’s passing.

Good People Aren’t Just Christians.

My mom was a good person. One of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m not just being partial. She was kind to everyone she met, she loved when she didn’t receive love in return. She helped raise half a county. She raised her own four children to be loving dependable and responsible.

She was not a “Christian”. Though she was never saved and didn’t attend church, she still had her own beliefs. One of the big ones was “treat others the way you want to be treated.” Also: “be good to your mom” 😉.

At her funeral, the preacher, a man who’d known my mother since he was little, did nothing but preach that she would want you to go to church and be saved. He said nothing about her going to a better place. She was a good person. But she wouldn’t be going to heaven.

I have not given my soul to Jesus. But I like to think I’m a good person. And I know people who identify as Christian who aren’t good people.

But Christians Can Be Good People

While I know some Christians who are “bad” people, I do know some who are good people, kind people. I’m not being judgmental or characterizing all Christians as bad people. Being Christian doesn’t make you good or bad.

I’ve always thought that a person who had faith as strong and unshakable as I’ve seen some people have must be strong and determined. It is admirable, giving yourself so fully to something such as faith.

How to Be a Good Person

  • Do good things: volunteer, donate to charity, feed the needy or homeless.
  • Be kind: use a positive attitude with others, let people know when you appreciate them.
  • Avoid: violence, hate, judgement.
  • And, you know, don’t MURDER people 🤷‍♀️

Basically, treat others the way you’d want to be treated, do not judge others by their outward appearance, but by their character and heart. Let others know you care for or respect them. Do good things with yourself and for others. The list goes on. But a person doesn’t have to be a Christian (or believe in God) to be a good person.

In Conclusion

You don’t have to be a Christian to be a good person. You just have to be a good person! But if having faith gives you wings, then fly, friend.

Thanks for Reading

-c

The Problem

20 Tuesday Feb 2018

Posted by in Opinion Piece

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , ,

It’s a gun control problem.

It’s a hate problem.

It’s a mental health problem.

But more importantly, it’s a human problem.

As long as there are humans there will be a gun violence problem. “Guns don’t kill people, people do.” That gun doesn’t get up and walk up to someone and shoot them. But access to guns makes it easier to do so. It’s a person carrying that gun that makes the decision to pull that trigger.

But why does someone outside of the military and law enforcement need an assault rifle? You can protect your home with an aluminum baseball bat.

My mom once told me a story about my grandmother being home alone with her six small children. Two men broke into (or tried to) their home. My grandmother pulled out the shotgun and “filled their butts full of buckshot”. She didn’t need an AK-47 to protect her children.

My husband and I are not gun people but we have SEVERAL hidden in our home (not assault rifles, thank bob). At least one is easy access in case of emergency. These were inherited when his father and brother passed. They’ve not been fired in years.

I haven’t shot a gun in over a decade. I have shot a .22 at summer camp once. Was an ok shot. I preferred the bow.

I have no issue with people owning guns. That’s your right. While I’ll never understand the need to own a gun that can rapid fire for “recreational use”, I don’t judge people. I do however think that all firearms should be registered, and upon registration you should have had background checks, safety training and a mental health check. Because an individual with anger issues/PTSD/history of violence/etc maybe shouldn’t have access. And those guns should be kept under lock and key and out of the reach of children.

I’m sure everything I have said here has been said a million times over by a million people. I’m sure none of this is new ideas no one has ever thought of. I’m usually slow to the game. But I feel I needed to say it, regardless.

Every other post in my Facebook newsfeed is related to the gun control debate, politics, #metoo, and recipe videos (my husband is bad for those ;). I did not want to add my opinion to the list. When I visit Facebook it’s to see how my friends are. If I wanted to head about all the other things I’d watch the news. I HATE THE NEWS. But I don’t judge, I don’t tell people how what to post, and try really hard to make people laugh.

So there’s my opinion. And that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter!

Thanks for reading!

-c

Pro-Whatever

11 Saturday Jun 2016

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

I am posting this at the risk of having massive amounts of hate spewed violently in my direction. The following statements are my opinions. I feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion, regardless of how those opinions make others feel. I hope my readers will bestow upon me that same respect. 

There’s currently an image going around comparing the reactions to the killing of a lion in a game hunt and the death of a gorilla with regards to the safety of a child to abortion. 

I’m going to state now that neither do I condone nor condem abortion or those who choose abortion. Neither do I try to form to firm an opinion on the deaths of the animals mentioned above. 

I can understand why some women and/or couples would choose abortion. Perhaps they know they cannot properly care for a child, perhaps their health of the child’s survival would be at risk. I believe that such a choice should not be made lightly. I believe that because you were reckless, stupid, and irresponsible, you should be able to just shrug it off as an “oopsie” then have it “taken care of”. And I think if one has multiple abortions and is still dumb enough to be so careless you should be sterilized. Because the chance that someone could pass on such idiocy is too much of a risk to the world. 

But there are other options. Carry the child to term, give the child up for adoption. As a woman who thought she’d never have a child, knowing someone could just “get rid of” one hurts my soul. There are thousands of women who cannot reproduce on their own who would trade you if they could.  

But still too, are facts. The number of children murdered, abused, molested by family, the children who are neglected, mistreated, ignored, homeless. Even the number of children without families. These numbers are higher than the “3,000 abortions a year.”

Most people’s reasoning for being against abortion are religious. “God won’t like it if you abort this baby.”

My response: what about the miscarriages? The stillborns? The babies born but lost before their lives could be lived? I know parents who’ve lost babies only a few years old. I know women who long to be mothers who’ve had multiple miscarriages. I’ve heard of babies born only to live mere moments before dying in the arms of those who waited for them. Who is to be blamed? Did God, in His almighty glory and mysterious reasoning decide this? God has a plan, they say. I’d like to know what that is. 

What if, and bear with me and my outrageous blasphemous ways, what if abortion is his plan? I’ve always been of the mind, “If God didn’t want it to happen, why would he let it?” Why would he let moms and dads enjoy and prepare for a coming baby then take it all away? Why wouldn’t he stop abortions if he didn’t want them to happen?

But then I can imagine judgment day, someone who was careless and stupid and practiced unsafe sex, only to shirt and say, “I’ll just get an abortion” only to look the child they “got rid of” in the face, and be judged. 

I don’t like abortion. I don’t like the idea of abortion. I’d never have one personally. It makes me sad to think that babies that could have gone to loving willing waiting homes were lost. 

But I also think that I don’t have a right to tell someone what to do with their body (except the whole practice safe sex thing. That’s important). I won’t judge an individual if they’ve had an abortion (it’s not my place). Unless it’s multiple abortions because you’re an idiot. Sorry. 

The fact is, for me, I don’t practice any religion, because I frankly don’t understand it. I don’t participate in active debate on any one topic because most of the time I have no idea what anyone’s talking about. I’m not political in any sense of the word because I’m too lazy to know what any one party wants out of the deal. Because of all of this I refrain usually from stating my opinion. I’m pretty much to lazy and don’t care enough to be informed. 

I also think that things are going to happen without my help, so I might as well let it screw itself over. 

I hate abortion. But I’m not going to tell you you can’t. After all, I’m not your God, your mom, or your supervisor. 

-c

Love Wins

30 Tuesday Jun 2015

Posted by in News, Opinion Piece, Rant

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

 

used with permission

Andrew Preston, gay folk singer and owner of magestic beard poses on beach (click thr image to view Andrew’s page”

I began writing this post that fateful Friday night, when the U.S. Supreme Court voted for Marriage Equality. It has taken me this long because I have been determined to find the right words to create and share with you an eloquent and thoughtful post on the topic. I’ve yet to come up with anything better than the post I made to my personal Facebook page. 

I’m going to say my peace here, just once, and then be done with it. I don’t like making people upset and I don’t like arguing.

I’m am 100% glad that the Marriage Equality/legalize Gay Marriage thing passed. Because I believe that all humans should have equal rights, regardless of color, sex, orientation, religion, employment, welfare, status. I believe that we should not run this country based in an outdated text. I do not discriminate or hate on anyone, especially religion, but I believe it is the close-minded, backward, hateful, or bigoted people that can make this world a harder place to live in. I’m glad that gay people have the right to marry. When I think of the possibility that someone could tell me I shouldn’t be with who I am because it’s “not right” or “against the bible” I don’t get angry. I get sad. Because when you love someone you should be able to marry them. Even if it’s just a piece of paper, even if a whole world of people think your going to Hell. Because if it’s this life that I’m worried about. Not the one after. And I try my best to be the best and have the best life I can while I’m living. 

This law passing isn’t going to cause the end of the world. I promise it will go on spinning, the same as it always has during every major disaster, during ever heartbreaking event, during every mass casualty. I’m sorry but if Jesus didn’t come back when people were suffering (they still are) he’s not coming because gay people have the right to marry each other. 

In the meantime, I’ll love my husband, my daughter. I’ll love myself and my family and my friends and live my life how I see fit. Should something come around that offends me and I think is wrong, I will speak my peace and let it go, because my personal beliefs do not affect the whole. My choices do not changes laws. 

This isn’t ruining the sanctity of marriage this isn’t going to destroy its meaning. And it sure isn’t going to affect anyone else’s marriage. I promise, your relationship will remain the same. 

So here’s my conclusion. Love one another. Respect one another’s wishes, opinions, beliefs. You aren’t being forced to accept them, just love and respect each other. There is good and this world, and it’s not strictly limited to Christians.” 

The picture I’ve included above, of the majestic bearded gentleman, is a friend of mine, named Andrew Preston. Andrew, whom I’ve known for many years now, and have never met in person (not yet, anyway) is a gay man. He’s also a talented musician, a kind soul, and not only someone I feel I can relate too, but someone who (and he doesn’t know this) I feel a motherly pride for. There. I said it! 

When I heard Friday’s nation shattering news, via Facebook (*eyeroll*), he was one of the people I thought of. I was happy, that not only Andrew and the handful of gay people I know but a whole country full of people could legally wed, just like straight people. 

I believe in my heart of hearts and my sometimes confused mind that there shouldn’t have even been a question in whether or not to allow it. It should have been allowed all along. 

Sadly, despite the law, there’s still a large percentage of the population that would still deny this right. And their argument is based off of the Bible. 

I am neither religious not political. I’m registered to vote, but I pay so very little attention to politics that voting would be a disservice.  I don’t consider myself a Christian, because I firmly believe in nothing. I have ideas, and I have hopes, but those are as concrete as a bowl if unset pudding. 

I however do not discriminate not judge based on people’s opinions, politic parties, or religious affiliations. 

But I cannot bring myself to believe in a God who would have his people preach hate, damnation, or hellfire upon other humans. Nor can I allow myself the idea that said God would condone the denial of such a simple right. 

There are people in this world that think allowing gay men and women the right to marry would destroy the sanctity of marriage. Like, how? How does it destroy the sactity of marriage? Two gay men, legally binding themselves to one another, pledging their love, will not destroy the meaning of a marriage between a heterosexual couple. 

Yes. The bible tells you so. But when was that written? How many sins would you be breaking, if you followed it to the letter? 

Here’s a question I’ve often asked myself: if it were wrong, why would Ge allow it? If allowing the marriage equality law to pass were the wrong decision, couldn’t God have divinely stopped it from passing?

Shoot. I don’t know. 

One thing I can’t help but remember: the day before the SCOTUS voted yes, I saw a whole slew of rainbow pictures. Sure, 90% of my part of the state was being showered at that point, but I’m odd in that I see meaning in the strangest places. Perhaps those rainbows (also a symbol of Gay Pride) were a sign. Chill out, folks. All will be well. 

Despite the #LoveWins trend that filled feeds across the Internet, despite the step in the right direction for equality across the spectrum (cause rainbows) I fear that this nation, this world, has a very long way to go, before any of us can be worthy.

And honestly, if heaven is a place where kind souls like Andrew aren’t accepted because of who they love, well I’m not sure that’s where I want to be.