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Category Archives: Truth

“You Don’t Need…” (3)

15 Saturday Aug 2020

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece, Truth, You Don’t Need

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Christian, Christianity, crash landing, crashdlanding, kindness, non-fiction, religion, You Don’t Need

Life lessons from someone who tried to be a teacher.

… to be a Christian to be a good person.

You just need to BE. A. GOOD. PERSON.


“You’re really nice. You must be a Christian.”

Some lady I was nice to at work once.

Your Image Isn’t JUST What You Show People

Someone the other day shared this image on Facebook. I commented with: “And sometimes very good people are covered in tattoos and go to church.
Every body is different every person is different and every heart is different.”

Your appearance does not define you. Your religion does not define you. Someone who had been baptized or saved can still do bad things.

It is your words, and how you say them, your actions, and how you take them. And your heart and how you use it.

If it’s not already obvious, I am legitimately NOT a Christian. I’m not an unbeliever either. I’m a not sure what to believer 🤷‍♀️. I’ve struggled with what to believe for many years and especially so after my mother’s passing.

Good People Aren’t Just Christians.

My mom was a good person. One of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m not just being partial. She was kind to everyone she met, she loved when she didn’t receive love in return. She helped raise half a county. She raised her own four children to be loving dependable and responsible.

She was not a “Christian”. Though she was never saved and didn’t attend church, she still had her own beliefs. One of the big ones was “treat others the way you want to be treated.” Also: “be good to your mom” 😉.

At her funeral, the preacher, a man who’d known my mother since he was little, did nothing but preach that she would want you to go to church and be saved. He said nothing about her going to a better place. She was a good person. But she wouldn’t be going to heaven.

I have not given my soul to Jesus. But I like to think I’m a good person. And I know people who identify as Christian who aren’t good people.

But Christians Can Be Good People

While I know some Christians who are “bad” people, I do know some who are good people, kind people. I’m not being judgmental or characterizing all Christians as bad people. Being Christian doesn’t make you good or bad.

I’ve always thought that a person who had faith as strong and unshakable as I’ve seen some people have must be strong and determined. It is admirable, giving yourself so fully to something such as faith.

How to Be a Good Person

  • Do good things: volunteer, donate to charity, feed the needy or homeless.
  • Be kind: use a positive attitude with others, let people know when you appreciate them.
  • Avoid: violence, hate, judgement.
  • And, you know, don’t MURDER people 🤷‍♀️

Basically, treat others the way you’d want to be treated, do not judge others by their outward appearance, but by their character and heart. Let others know you care for or respect them. Do good things with yourself and for others. The list goes on. But a person doesn’t have to be a Christian (or believe in God) to be a good person.

In Conclusion

You don’t have to be a Christian to be a good person. You just have to be a good person! But if having faith gives you wings, then fly, friend.


Thanks for Reading

-c

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But What If I Don’t Wanna?

04 Thursday Jun 2020

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Retail, Retailiations, Truth

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crash landing, crashdlanding, faith, family, hope, non-fiction, pixie dust, retail, retailiations, work

I have to work tomorrow (technically today since it’s one in the morning). That’s not news, I work every day of the week but Monday and Wednesday. But I don’t want too.

Tuesday, the last day I worked, was a big pile of stinking festering garbage. I was short handed and the people who were supposed to be the closing team called in and left us hanging. I had to ask two of my people to stay late—they graciously agreed and I’m forever in their debt—and I told my managers I would stay late.

I’m not gonna complain once my pay check rolls in and I have overtime on it—OT WHUD UP—practically buy me a new car with that.

Anyway, after six I had three people on the front end, three breaks to cover (including my own) and a million things to get done. Honestly it’s not that hard it’s just complicated and you have to not mess something up.

Messing with the money of a major corporation is a daunting task. That makes me sound more important that what I really am. But that’s what I do. Essentially.

But as always we made it work and we are a good team. A teeny tiny little team but a good one. Those are reliable people and my faith in them has grown even brighter than it was before that night.

Because two people called in (more in the place called in, but two in one area is like a tornado going through a trailer park: devastation). And honestly it was two people I was looking forward to working with. Two people I enjoyed working with and it made me feel like they were abandoning me, and not just our front end and store.

I know that’s not the case. At least I’m pretty sure because they did not communicate with me. I wish they had. One of if them called in I was disappointed. But then I learned they both called in…

Let’s just say the stress of the last several months, and basically year, have really weighed down on me and I might have gotten emotional. I hid it well, at least the angry crying part, and managed to put my sore and damaged feet down (gently) and say, mostly to myself “screw this figurative ‘schtuff’, I deserve more.”

Management had been scheduling me full time and boarder line full time hours for ages, and more so during the Pandemic (crapdangit more like), and I worked it all—except for my two week leave—without fail. I might not have been as good at it as others in certain people’s eyes, but I did it.

So I resolved to ask my manager, first personnel then store manger, for full time.

In the eleven years I’ve been working at (REDACTED) I’ve always been part-time. I’ve worked full time hours on many occasions. More so since getting my current position and let me tell you this has been a rocky road. I’d rather have the ice cream. But I’d been asked about it before and I said that I didn’t want more hours away from my child and family and on my feet.

But since I’m getting that any way and I have been there, doing the job as best as I could, I thought I deserved it. Not the hours, I already have those. I’m talking PERKS!

I had the conversation with my manager and I came out of it, with a “I can’t make any promises” but also with confidence that he actually felt I deserved for the possibility to be looked into.

I’m not getting my hopes up, even if I think I’ve been seen as a worthy person, by at least one other human. Whether no one else does.

But I will also be keeping my options open.

And I’ve learned a lot lately.

1. Open your mouth for what you want or risk never getting it. 2. Faith and hope in another human being is about as valuable as a water logged wooden nickel (IT TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG TO SPELL NICKEL RIGHT). 3. I can make anything work. No matter how putrid the flaming dumpster fire I’m given.

Thanks for reading

-c

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Updates

21 Saturday Mar 2020

Posted by crashdlanding in coming soon, News, Official Announcement, Truth, You Don’t Need

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coming soon, coronavirus, covid19, crash landing, crashdlanding, non-fiction, retail, self-quarantine, social distancing, update

Over the last several months (off and on for years really) I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been A: carrying a lot of extra weight—and I don’t just mean physical, and B: been hoping for something that just isn’t going to happen. So I’m making changes.

1. I’ve had more than one Facebook page, dedicated to different aspects of my creative outlets, and none of the got the attention I hoped, becoming a burden to maintain and a waste of time. So several weeks ago, I “unpublished” two of them, and am now focusing exclusively on Crash Landing. I’ve updated it’s look and theme, as well as my other social media. Check it out for some interesting goings-on.

2. I’m planning a monthly/weekly features, including “You Don’t Need” Monday’s (see what I did there?) and Spotlight Sunday’s where I’ll shine a light on other creators who just wanna share with the world, like me. Non-Fiction Friday will be where I discuss what’s happening in the world and how I’m feeling. #covid19anyone?

3. I have a YouTube channel, where I hope to share some interesting stuff, if I can get over my embarrassment. I mean, I have a GoPro, might as well use it. 🤷‍♀️

There’s more I’m sure I’m not remembering, but I’m trying to both simplify my life, and put myself out there for the world. I miss being creative, I love sharing that with others, and, I mean. I put all this work into some of this stuff. I might as well use it.

I hope everyone is staying safe, healthy, and trying to enjoy the #hermitlife. I am however in retail as a day job, so I can’t “self-quarantine”, no matter how badly I want too!

Always, thanks for reading! -c

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Things I’ve always wanted to do

13 Thursday Jun 2019

Posted by crashdlanding in Books, Non-Fiction, Truth, Unfinished Business

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big ideas very little follow through, broke, bucket list, crystals crazy schemes, Dreams, if wishes were horses, money wasters, non-fiction

Almost exactly a year ago today I bought a ukulele on Amazon. I can probably play one cord. If I look it up on the internet.

The Uke is just one of the many examples of things I wanted to do (learn to play an instrument) that I’ll never do. SO HERE’S A LIST (in no particular order). Several I have attempted and even spent money on. Never succeeded.

  1. Learn to play an instrument – UKE
  2. Learn another language (I tried Irish, Spanish, and Sign) – I’ve bought CDs and books.
  3. Relearn to ride a bike (I’m told I know how but I can never seem to pull it back out) – Bought a bike, tried once. Was afraid of falling. Sold the bike three years later.
  4. Learn to make homemade biscuits – bought a cookbook (by one of my mom’s favorite tv personalities because of that and the biscuit recipe), a set of biscuit cutters, flour and buttermilk. Forgot.
  5. I’ve always wanted to be a good singer. I’ll NEVER spend money on that. My child likes my “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” just fine.
  6. I’ve always wanted to be a private detective. I have googled it, several years ago. It’s very expensive. I also didn’t drive at the time so I would have felt weird asking my husband for rides to stakeouts!
  7. FLIP HOUSES. Gotta have money to make money on that one. Ironically the cookbook person from number 4 used to do houses on TV.
  8. Wedding plan. I love weddings. This one started when I thought I’d never get married. Still love weddings.
  9. Tutor. I bought a book for this one. Had the idea to start my own tutoring business. Thought my education degree would be a good selling point. I worked for a tutoring company for a bit. It was a second job.
  10. Earn a living from writing. Ha. Ha ha ha. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

-c

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A Damp Spring Night and the Clutter of Life

12 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Truth

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clutter, crash landing, crashdlanding, dark, life, night, rain

I hate driving in the rain. I also hate driving in the dark. Therefore driving in the rain at night is a perfect combo platter of awful for me. 

I’ve only been mobile a four years now. So, I feel like I am still inexperienced. I’ll probably always feel that way. But I gotta do it. 

Tonight I worked late so when I got off, it was dark and pouring rain. The route I take follows a river for most of the trip. On the way home it’s on the right. On nights like this–dark and damp–I cannot help but picture me and my Chevy Cobalt swerving uncontrollably, crashing through the guardrail, and sailing majestically RIGHT. INTO. THE. RIVER. 

I have a bit of a paranoia problem. I get it from my mother. 

So, during the trip tonight, I drove much slower than normal (luckily there weren’t any impatient drivers behind me) and listened to the sound of rain and wipe blades working overtime. I left my music off because concentration. 

In my “quiet time” of fear, thoughts ran uninhibited through my head. Visions of my demise on damp spring night in a cold raging river plagued me. 

The main concern was that my dear husband would be left with the aftermath. Just last year he had to deal with not only the loss of his father, but his brother as well. And since his brother had no children and his wife had passed several years previous, my hubs and his mother were left with sorting through the clutter that comes with life. 

He doesn’t need to have to do it again, anytime soon. So, I’ve decided to do it myself. I have an office/guest bedroom filled with clutter and useless items gathering dust. I plan on spending several days over the course of the summer purging the office of my lifetime of clutter. 

The fear of death by river brought out my need to organize. 

I never said I was normal. 

-c

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Dear Daughter

05 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by crashdlanding in Motherhood, Truth

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dear daughter, hurt, motherhood

I hope you never have to question whether someone who claims to be your friend is telling the truth or not. But you will. 

I hope you never have to face the reality of being second string to anyone else. But you will. 

I hope you don’t ever get heartbroken by someone who you thought cared about you. But you will. 

I hope you never have to watch others having fun but not thinking to invite you. But you will. 

I hope you never have to question your worth. But you will. 

When all of these things happen to you, because they will, I hope you let the tears fall, but then hold your head up, and move on. 

Because crying isn’t weakness, it’s showing emotion. It’s how you handle yourself in the aftermath that matters. And I hope you have the strength to tell those who hurt you how they made you feel. 

Because you will get hurt. But I hope you will pull yourself back up. 

Love, momma

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Life

06 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by crashdlanding in Family, love, Non-Fiction, Truth

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death, Friendship, life, live, love, truth

  

My family lost yet another good man. This time there was no clue, no sign. Yet more proof death comes and takes as he pleases with no regard for the living. 

I wrote the following on a whim, and it’s one of those things that I feel good about, which I read to myself over and over again. 

Love one another. There’s not time enough for hate. 

Life is short. Don’t fret. Don’t fuss. Don’t fight. Don’t hate. Love each other. Don’t judge. Accept. Appreciate. Learn. Laugh. Cry. Tell the truth, be honest. Enjoy yourself, enjoy each other. Smile. Live. Live while you can and while you have the chance. Not one person on this planet can know how long they’ve got, until it’s too late. Don’t let anything stop you from enjoying as much as possible. Don’t leave this world with regrets. And don’t give up on something that means the most to you. 

Know that you are loved and let those you love know you love them too! Don’t leave it as a question mark in the story of your life. Don’t leave anyone wondering. 

If you are on my friends list, know that I appreciate and love you. I try to love and accept all, no matter your station, wealth, position, religion, sexuality, gender, or political beliefs. You matter to me, you mean a lot to me and my world would alter if you were no longer in it. 

There are too many factors that can change our course in the path of life. Make sure that if your path is altered, your course changed, should you look back and see you’ve lost your way, you soldier on and make your way out. 

We have each other. That’s all we have. Be good to one another, and this life will be well.

-c

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Be My Valentine

13 Saturday Feb 2016

Posted by crashdlanding in love, Non-Fiction, Truth, Valentine's Day

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Friendship, love, non-fiction, Valentine's Day

  
‘Tis the season of the naked baby with wings and a sharp object pointed at people. 

I’ve seen a lot of hatin’ on the VD the last few days, and let me say, it’s a teensy bit annoying. And yes, I am allowed to say that. I was also allowed to say “I hate Valentine’s Day” when I was Valentine-less. Just as you are. So hush. 

Yes, I have a Valentine. But many moons ago, I never ever thought I’d have one. In fact I thought for years I’d be alone for all my February 14ths. But I never hated on anyone for having a valentine. 

STORY TIME

I remember specifically, Valentines Day 2003. That was my senior year and the year I got caught skipping swim class and was assigned sports reports for my trouble. 

Yes, this is relevant. 

You see, the principal who assigned these reports (the one who pseudo-suspended me, would have kept me from graduating) told me to report to the library every day in place of what was my swim class. But for the first week, the library was being renovated. So, Mr. Barber said to sit it out in the office. 

That was also the week when Valentine’s Day arrived. So, I sat in the office during peak flower delivery times. I watched as flowers boys’ moms paid for for their sons’ girlfriends passed through the office door. Though I knew I wouldn’t get anything, I secretly and silently hoped/imagined that one of those many thousands of dollars worth of bouquets would have my name on them. 

I was mildly jealous, but knew that all these girls getting flowers from their Valentines would be happy. Just as I knew I would have been. 

My first Valentine’s Day didn’t come for five more years, when my future husband brought a dozen roses to my house, along with a Vermont Teddy Bear. I finally had a Valentine. 

But I firmly believe that you don’t have to be in love to have a Valentine. If elementary school children swap Valentine’s cards, then I can give my friends a card. Heck, buy yourself a box of chocolates. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, single or not!

-c

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Someday

01 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Rant, Truth

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

depression, money, upset, work

I had initially planned on posting this to Facebook (I’ve still NOT reactivated) but decided this would be the best place. It’s mostly just my ranting after a difficult day.

I am not a happy person. I haven’t been one for a long time, now. Of course, I love my child, my husband, my family, my friends. But there are a number of factors that have contributed to the decline of my mental wellbeing. Namely: work and money.

There have been a certain number of changes in my workplace that haven’t gone over well for me. A number of things have happened and are happening that either make me angry or depress me. And making myself accept these changes as something I have no control over is difficult for me. 

While I have always known that I have no control over what happens at work, I have had to come to the realization that no matter what I want to happen or what changes I’d like to make, and no matter how hard I try–such as a position or shift change–I will never be given the opportunity to do so. No matter how much I want it. 

Money has also played a role in my changes. Foremost is the knowledge that because I got used to NOT having my loan payment to worry about, I’ve been neglecting it for months. While I had it deferred for one glorious year, I could have been putting money back, saving, preparing for its eminent return. I did not think about it, I did not work on saving for it once leave was over. And because of my lack, it’s my fault that I’m in dire straights now. And that’s, in combination with cut hours and other bills, the stress of money bears down on me like Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders. 

So I am not a happy person. I am a stressed, depressed, and angry person. And quite often this anger, stress, and depression is taken out on others. If anyone has been hurt, offended, or annoyed by my behavior over the last several months, I apologize. 

Lately, it seems the only comfort and peace I find is in the evening snuggles with my child. Tonight, while I’d hoped that she’d be asleep when I got home, she was awake. Her daddy was trying to get her down to sleep, but when she saw me she practically tried climbing over him to get to me. My heart melted. We cuddled a bit before she got to fussy and too tired. Soon after giving her a bottle she was out and sleeping peacefully in my arms. I looked at her and whispered, “Mommy loves you, you know that?” And I kissed her cheek. 

She is my best thing ever. She is my happy place. Even when she’s fussy, or grumpy. Even when she’s trying to bite my fingers. Always. She’s my sunshine and she makes my days brighter. 

She doesn’t quite understand when or why mommy is upset and she doesn’t know how happy she makes me. But she is sure good at brightening my life. 

I am not a happy person. I’ve cried recently more times than I can count. I’ve longed for some miracle to come and make my life just a little bit easier. I’ve wished for something better to come along. I’ve prayed that I didn’t have to stick with a job I honestly don’t want anymore. But for my daughter and my husband I stay. 

But I cannot much longer. 

Once some of my bills are paid off and the burden of money has lifted slightly, I WILL find something different. I WILL find something new. Whether it be in a school, or flipping burgers, I WILL not do this anymore. 

Until then, it’s head down mouth shut. I will accept the things I cannot change. I will do my job, I will work silent and quick. I will do as I am told. I will smile and greet customers and assist them eagerly–as I have always done. That is one of the few things I enjoy best about my job. Helping customers. Yes, even the rude ones. 

Someday the light will not brighten only when my daughter is around. Someday the light will be bright always, and I will be happier. Someday, someday, someday. 

-c

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Truth

22 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Rant, Truth

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acceptance, truth, wants

As human beings we are preprogrammed and hard wired to always want more. It’s in our nature. 

Regardless of how much we have already, there will always be something more. Something we think we need, something just out of reach. Something we can see on the distant horizon that we seek, but no matter how far we stretch, we cannot reach. Yet still we want it. We want more. 

These past few weeks have shown me a great deal about myself, and how much more I want, and how much more I think I deserve. 

The reality is that, no matter how hard I try or how hard I work I may never have what I think I deserve. And what I think I deserve, I probably am not worthy of. At least not in the eyes of those that decide. 

There have been some changes in my workplace recently that have thrown me off balance. My workload has changed–increased–and my mentality has been affected by the stress this has caused. 

Though I’ve worked hard and done everything I’ve been told, it’s still not enough–nothing will ever be enough–for me to be considered worthy of more. And that is the reality I need to force myself to accept. 

Until I get myself out of the place that causes me stress, I will be cursed to settle for the lot I’ve been handed. 

And I don’t see my exit coming up anytime soon. 

-c

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