Keys

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One year, for Christmas I assume, my mom got my sister and I necklaces. They couldn’t have been very expensive, by any means, definitely less that $100. But my mom never did anything half way.

Her 100% always came in the form of thoughtfulness and care. When giving gifts she put a lot of thought into it, wanting to get someone something that she knew they would love, or that meant a lot.

Now I cannot remember for the life of me what my sister got. But I remember mine was a key. She told his, when she gave them to us (at least she told me), that she picked them out special, and there was a reason she got us what she did.

I asked her why she got me the key and why it was so special. Her answer was super annoying at the time but also very much her. “You’ll know.” She said. “It’ll come to you.”

Now, this was a long time ago, I want to say I wasn’t married yet. But I tend to remember obscure useless things as opposed to important information, so it’s safe to say I’m getting something wrong. But I do remember saying, “well, I do like keys.” And I do.

(There’s a bag of random keys somewhere in my house that happened to be in my husband’s brother’s belongings when he passed. My mother in law gave them to my husband for me and said, “give these to Crystal, she might be able to do something with them.” I actually have ideas.)

Now, not knowing why she choose the key for me bothered me, for years, but not enough for me to stress it. It wasn’t that big of a deal, and I did love the necklace. And my mom.

But through the circumstances of life, one loses things, they go back and forth, and get misplaced, no matter how valuable they are to you. I cannot tell you the last time I saw that necklace. And it’s not been recent. It hurts my soul that I’m missing something from her. But I’m sure she’d understand, she’d lost enough of her own items in her lifetime.

But I recently remembered it. I often do, when keys are involved.

When she died (I’ve always found “passed away” to be an odd saying) we were going through her things, as tradition sees fit. I never understood why it had to be rushed. But one of the things we decided to search through was her jewelry box.

Said jewelry box has its own history. She’d had it for many many years, I believe since she was 16. It’s beautiful and old and full of the most random items, that are NOT jewelry. Except the mood ring.

We went through that box that day, looking at all the little trinkets and knick knacks and items she’d hoarded with the best intentions. Pictures and figurines and pennies. Locks of hair and crumbled four leaf clovers.

All of it has attached memories and stories and lore that will never be shared again, at least not in the most perfect, wonderful way she told it. Memories lost of a lifetime turned to ashes blown in the wind one humid sunny day.

On that jewelry box, whose hinges had been pried off for access previously—I do not know who by, nor whether their intentions were good or bad, there is nothing if monetary value there—is a lock.

The lock is a sturdy one, strong. By a company that I believe no longer exists. The reason the hinges were pried off, was because they couldn’t get to the lock. Now, Mom had lost the key multiple times. Which isn’t hard to believe, knowing her and how long she’d had the jewelry box. There were two keys.

That day, the day she died, and we decided to dig gently through the physical representations of my mother’s youth, reliving the memories of the stories she told about every single item, I somehow became the guardian of one of the keys.

I now keep the key, hanging from a chain, with two cheap mother of pearl style buttons decorating it. I sometimes wear it out and about, and like to imagine that she’s near when I do.

As the years have gone by, as they do in spite of our best wishes, I think of my mom less often, and those thoughts are more often less sad. I’ve had one or two very very brief seconds where I have forgotten, for a glimpse of a moment, that she is gone. And living in the momentary thought, that maybe I could still call her number and tell her, “goodnight, I love you” is pure bliss.

But wearing the key to her jewelry box, and somehow the key to her memories and a key to memories of her and with her, I am reminded of that key necklace. And her reason behind giving it to me.

“You’ll know.” She’d said. “It’ll come to you.”

I am the keeper of a key. Her key. My key.


My world needs you, but you do not need this world. 🔑
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Well, 62 was a good number.

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I’m not calling it failure because I didn’t put a number on it. I’m really just amazed I lasted as long as I did, even with a little cheating. But last night, after working on several different things, I forgot and went to sleep.

Here’s a list of things I did tonight.

  • Created a store front for sticker sales.
    • There are two stickers by myself and two by The Kid.
  • Made my Cricut work
    • When I tried to use it to cut stickers the other day, it messed up. I used some tips from TT comments to figure it out. I had to turn off my lights to do it.
  • Figured out how to keep Cricut Design Space from adding a bold black line to my images.
    • It has to do with transparency. Now I just gotta figure out how to fix the stickers I’ve already designed.
  • Completed The Kid’s stickers.
    • The only thing I did was create a white background with a distinct and clear border for CDS and the Cricut to cut.
  • Published the storefront and sold two stickers!
    • They were the kid’s but still. She earned $4.
  • Learned how to and made a stamp/brush in Procreate to easily add “The Kid ‘23” to her images.
    • At some point I’ll get her to help.
  • Printed two of each of The Kid’s stickers, and one of mine, just so I didn’t waste paper.
    • I then used the Cricut to cut said stickers. While they were cutting I got two separate notifications that two of hers sold.
    • We packaged those up in a sweet envelope, after she wrote a little message of course, and they’ll be hand delivered tomorrow. Ah, the glory of knowing your customers personally.

I have some to make for my nephew, he only gave me guidance on one, requested an edit on another, and liked one more but didn’t say if he wanted it. It’s not ready anyway.

I’m sure this will be yet another failed side hustle did me, but it’s fun. And if I don’t print something every day my stupid printer acts a fool.

I’m not planning on beating my streak for a while. Gonna post as they come. But I’ve got a few in the pipeline. Another page of Cora’s story. A review of some Oats Overnight flavors, and some Spite Diet updates.

Anyway here’s Wonderwall some stickers.


My Bob I’m tired.

Oats Overnight Redux: A Review (Part One)

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Since starting The Spite Diet I’ve made a point of searching for the best food options for a healthier lifestyle. My usual go-to for breakfast turned out to have more fat than the meals I was making for lunch and dinner during the diet.

So, I started searching for a better option, one that was just as convenient as my Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts, and affordable. I kept coming back to Oats Overnight.

I’d had the subscription before, but honestly I got bored of it, and kept forgetting to rinse the bottle 🤦‍♀️. So I canceled with several pouches in my cabinet. Well, I went back the other night and found the box of neglected leftovers, and was going to fix me up a batch for the next morning.

But they had expired.

So decided I resubscribe. This go ‘round, I selected all different flavors, some new to me, some I remember enjoying the last time. The following is a review of all the flavors I received. This post will be several weeks in the making. Let’s get into it!

Mixed Berries & Cream

I poured the pouch into the free (with subscription) Blender Bottle and added 8oz of vanilla almond milk to the line on the bottle. I threw it in the fridge the night before around 10pm. I took it to work with me to enjoy around 8:30am.

  • Obstacles: (large ingredients that require additional effort) berries: not a ton and pleasant, fun to chew the rehydrated blueberries. minimal effort. 8/10
  • Flavor: berries and cream will always be a great flavor in my opinion. No unpleasant aftertaste. 9/10
  • Texture: basically thin oatmeal. Expected. No graininess. nothing unexpected. 9/10
  • Overall: easy to eat, enjoyable breakfast, fits well into my diet plan. Tons of protein.

9.5/10

Dark Chocolate Sea Salt

  • Obstacles: chocolate chunks. Small, hard but not difficult to chew. Seem to settle to the bottom. 7/10
  • Flavor: CHOCOLATE. It’s delicious. Tastes very much like a really good chocolate ice cream. Except for, you know, oatmeal and chia seeds. 10/10
  • Texture: no graininess. Definitely needed a good shake again, to disperse the ingredients. Expected texture for good overnight oats. No complaints 9/10
  • Overall: great flavor, good texture, a few obstacles. 8.5/10

Flavor in Development: Cookies and Cream

Enjoyed in January 24.
Via Oats Overnight Instagram
  • Obstacles: besides the typical ingredients from their base mix, like chia seeds, I had no issues. Ingredients list says cookies crumbs, but I imagine they absorbed the almond milk and got soggy. Like I like my Oreos. 10/10
  • Flavor: first let me tell you, when I opened up the package, I didn’t know what flavor it was. It smelled like chocolate chip cookies. I saw that there was cocoa powder in the mix based on color. I wasn’t mad. the flavor is delicious I can taste the chocolate cookie flavor, and it a good pairing for oats. Would enjoy again. 9.8/10
  • Texture: classic OO texture. No graininess, no inconsistency or bitterness. The cookie crumbs it touts in the ingredients maybe got lost in the milk overnight. But I can still taste the flavor. 10/10
  • Overall: amazing. Top of the list so far. 9.5/10

Strawberries & Cream

  • Obstacles: none detected. Pieces of strawberries are small enough that they blend right in, in fact, in this batch they might either be a little too small or sparse. 7/10
  • Flavor: delicious strawberries and cream flavor. Not quite as potent a flavor as the Quaker Oats version of S&C oatmeal. But this taste less artificial because of the milder flavor. 8/10
  • Texture: there’s a little bit of a mouth feel after you have a gulp and swallow. Not grainy, but like a residue? I’m sure if you take a swig of water it’ll go away. Otherwise, it’s typical classic Oats Overnight texture. 8/10
  • Overall: a more traditional, classic, milder flavor for OO. Could use more strawberry but not a lot. But it also could have been a “luck of the batch” issue. 8/10

Green Apples & Cinnamon

  • Obstacles: small chunks of diced dried apples. They rehydrate well, and give a bit of chew to the mix. Not unpleasant and a subtle not overpowering taste. 8/10
  • Flavor: it’s a very light subtle flavor. Not overpowering or overbearing. It’s a good neutral flavor. It’s not going to surprise you or be overwhelming in the morning. There’s no odd aftertaste either. Nothing to write home about either. 7.5/10
  • Texture: typical overnight oats texture, drinkable with little obstacles to have to break down or avoid. No graininess unwanted textures for overnight oats. 9/10
  • Overall: good simple breakfast that’s not overwhelming or too much for one’s senses first thing. 8/10

So far.

To be honest, I’ve gotten bored. There’s been a few times over the course of a month that I just did not want to drink breakfast. The flavor options I had or the one I’d premade the night before did not thrill me.

I’ve also had a lot of stress of late, and wanted something more fulfilling in a enjoyment sense. Basically meaning not healthy. So, I’d let the oats I’d made go bad or just skip making them altogether.

It’s important when your on a health journey where you adjust your diet to what works best for you to eat foods you enjoy, not just what seems healthy. Boredom can lead to making decisions that are counterproductive to your goals.

I’ve been trying to interchange my oats with other options, like a protein shake and bar. While I’m still not perfect at eating, meal prep, and all things The Spite Diet, I’m trying. And I’m a long way from giving up.

Important Spite Diet update coming soon!


I made some stickers

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Sorta

Well, really not sorta. But it was a struggle.

The goal was to make them to sell, but my Cricut is being absolutely stupid.

First, I had to do some warranty violating things to my printer. If I go for more than a few days without using it (honestly it’s typically six months to a year), it wants me to clean the print beads or nozzles or whatever and that uses an ungodly amount of ink.

But I figured out why that has to be done. It’s because of the amount of in that just sits in the nozzles between prints that doesn’t even get used, dries out and clogs it. Then it ushers the most inefficient way of unclogging, which is I assume, blading an ungodly amount of ink through the nozzles to force any clogs out. This way the manufacturer gets more money because you run out of ink faster. Plus, when it says the ink is empty, it’s 100% not empty.

Anyway, I eventually got it printing well, reminding me that it is a really good printer, despite its faults, after all. I waited until almost bedtime to work on it, they printed fine.

I had to dig my Cricut out and plop it on the bed.

It was only after one cut attempt, a calibration and another cut attempt that I gave up and hand cut out these six stickers. One was sliced from the poor cut, leaving me with five.

I’m keeping the damaged one for myself. Saving one for the sister, that would have left four. However, I just realized I slapped a perfectly good one on my water bottle, leaving three. I miss counted that twice so that’s a sign I should probably give up and go it bed.

In other news, I finished the most recent drawing challenge. It’s awful but it’s done. I’m going to start working on the video as soon as my iPad stops being a spaz. And I’ve had some sleep.


It really is too bad I’m.l not wealthy enough to be unemployed

Lazy Day

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Today was Martin Luther King Jr Day. So the kid had a day off school, and it was my regular day off work. So we got to have a nice lazy day at home.

I managed to make myself a breakfast that my Lose It app said was only at grams of fat. And it was good!

And after I dragged myself away from TT I worked on the third drawing challenge some more. Took ages but I’m finally happy with the dragon. But the coloring part is giving me an aneurysm.

I was looking for free Procreate brushes that would help with dragon scales. But all the ones that lol like they’d work are paid. And I know I won’t use them again, so I don’t want to spend the money.

But he’s almost done so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

I’ve been a bad at dieting the last few days. Went out to eat with my sister and her kids for my nephews birthday and I didn’t try to do well. I’ve also forgotten been too lazy to meal prep the last few days. I also had Dino nuggets and fries for dinner. I feel bad, like I disappointed someone. When I’ve got no one rooting for me, really.

I really just want to give up and drink me a Pepsi and eat me a couple pizza rolls.

But I’m also saving money by packing my lunch. So. I guess I’ll stick with it. Just like I’m sticking with this blogging thing.

Hopefully Cora tomorrow.


Also it’s raining so I’m expecting to get dropped on the head in my sleep

Lazy Day

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Today was Martin Luther King Jr Day. So the kid had a day off school, and it was my regular day off work. So we got to have a nice lazy day at home.

I managed to make myself a breakfast that my Lose It app said was only at grams of fat. And it was good!

And after I dragged myself away from TT I worked on the third drawing challenge some more. Took ages but I’m finally happy with the dragon. But the coloring part is giving me an aneurysm.

I was looking for free Procreate brushes that would help with dragon scales. But all the ones that lol like they’d work are paid. And I know I won’t use them again, so I don’t want to spend the money.

But he’s almost done so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.

I’ve been a bad at dieting the last few days. Went out to eat with my sister and her kids for my nephews birthday and I didn’t try to do well. I’ve also forgotten been too lazy to meal prep the last few days. I also had Dino nuggets and fries for dinner. I feel bad, like I disappointed someone. When I’ve got no one rooting for me, really.

I really just want to give up and drink me a Pepsi and eat me a couple pizza rolls.

But I’m also saving money by packing my lunch. So. I guess I’ll stick with it. Just like I’m sticking with this blogging thing.

Hopefully Cora tomorrow.


Also it’s raining so I’m expecting to get dropped on the head in my sleep

I tried to go to the gym

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I’ve officially been on the Spite Diet for 17 days. Weigh-in (according to my home scale) is tomorrow. While I’d lost 6 pounds at last weigh in, I know that it’s important to weight loss to exercise.

So I decided I was going to go to the gym.

But, see, there’s a problem. I don’t like doing new things, by myself. That’s why it took me nearly a decade to pump my own gas (which was also done out of spite). Doing new things by myself gives me anxiety.

I don’t know if it’s the fear of failure, or anti-social tendencies, or what, but the idea of it was daunting.

Even at 7am, when I knew it would be hours before I would be going, I thought about it all day. This anxiety is probably the reason why I don’t ask for help a lot.

Anyway, I finally convinced myself to go by telling myself I would make a TikTok video (yes, you read that right) about the process. Going, getting out, going in, on thr treadmill, and then in the vehicle being all proud of myself.

But eventually the time came for me to clock out and change. I’d brought my gym clothes to work to change in the breakroom rest room. That’s at I didn’t have to do it at the gym.

I changed, no one mentioned my clothes, and walked to the truck. I messaged mg husband that I was going and he said, “Work up a good sweat.”

You see, once I got over the initial walking in bit, I knew that I could get on the treadmill and do what I’d came for.

But alas, it was not to be. Upon arrival I sat in my truck for a minute. I said to myself, hey, you’re an adult. You don’t need someone to hold your hand. You pump your own gas you can go into the gym.

I see there aren’t many people there, I get out, walk to the door, and ITS LOCKED. My first thought was, okay, after hours, it’s okay, three years ago you paid for a key fob to get in after hours. I run back in and… it doesn’t work. I try it over and over. It makes the beeping noises but no dice.

I am disappointed. Almost on the verge of tears.

Also a little angry. Angry because I’d had to psych myself up and got nothing but anticlimactic failure.

Eventually I decide, instead of pouting and going home, what felt like empty handed, I am going to go to a local walking trail in town and walk.

My dudes it was 36 degrees.

But I did it.

I walked one lap, about a half mile. It felt good but my nose was cold for two hours after. If it were warmer I would have walked more.

I would have spent an hour in the treadmill though.

I am going to go back, I’m going to go at regular hours, and I’m going to see about getting a replacement key fob. Because Sundays are gonna be the best days for me to go by myself. And I will go by myself.

Still, I’m a little proud of me for walking up to that door alone. And walking the track alone.


Sometimes I stop and think, “I need to find a job where I can be off on the weekends and be able to spend time with people and not have to worry about getting home so I can get done what I need and have some rest before bed.”

And then I remember that I’ll never find another job and I’ll forever be stuck in the one I have. Don’t ask why it’s a long story that I don’t have the energy or time for right now.

We go see my brother and his family, we had gifts for their basically grown kids. I forget they they don’t stay the same and that they grow. And I’m a little mad about it. It’s a shock to your system when you l see kids that have changed so drastically in a year’s time. Like they are whole other humans!

Anyway they’re great kids and I love them.

But I am exhausted. I worked today and then we went out to eat for my sister’s youngest kid’s birthday.

I did NOT stick to a healthy diet. I am ashamed.

I am going to try and make myself go to the gym, by myself, tomorrow. I’m going to take my bag of gym clothes to work, and change into them there, and go to the gym.

My social anxiety tells me that walking into the gym by myself is absolutely impossible and I cannot do it and should not try. I have never gone to the gym by myself. I have gone with a friend, once, or my husband. I have never gone by myself.

I mean, if I know myself, I probably will not even go. I’ll sit in my truck in the parking lot at work and cry a little inside at my shamefulness, and then just drive home. But I’m gonna try. Do something.

Anyway, it’s way past my bedtime, I need to sleep.