Tag Archives: abortion

BMB: Monday Bloody Monday.

18 Monday Jul 2022

Posted by in BMB, Family

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Day 18

“Something terrible has happened.” I told my husband. Of course I warned him that the terrible thing isn’t terrible in the sense of, say, someone died. But terrible in the sense of, utter shock.

Against my will and best wishes I have been bluntly reminded that time stops for no man, and no matter how hard you wish to believe, things will change, and children will grow. Whether you like it or not.

My niece, the first female grandchild to be born into the family, has gotten her period.

Now, in ten or fifteen years, when she’s old enough to register that her wealthy, famous, philanthropic aunt (I’m pretending here) has a blog, and she’s spent a late night reading though the old archives of said blog, she will be utterly embarrassed that I told the internet she got her period. And I look forward to her cringe-face when she does.

Of course, unless you know either of us, you won’t know her name or anything about her other than her “coming of age”, as I intend. Except for, of course, her age. Which happens to be a part of the reason why I’m so distraught.

SHE’S HOW OLD?!

You see, she’s nine. NINE. NINE. FREAKING. YEARS. OLD. When did this start happening before a kid reached the decade mark?! I was at least 12, maybe 13. That was also a million years ago.

How is it a child’s body can become mature before they mature mentally. That isn’t to say she’s not smart, my niece. But she’s also a huge goofball, loud, and stubborn. Of course all that is natural in our line of women, but still. I can look at her and know she’s not ready for this.

And yet there is no magic pill or injection with yearly booster that can pause the development of a person until their brain reaches the right stage of growth. If anyone knows of such a thing still in R&D, hit me up. I have a pickle jar of change to lob at the nearest scientist.

And the simple fact that this country, this would, is not currently built with women, especially young fertile women, in mind, makes this all the more gut wrenching.

Of course my mind goes straight to the 10 year old who was raped and sought an abortion. The fact that the violation of a child barely a decade into life happened is one disgusting matter. But knowing that there are people out there who would rather risk the 10 year old’s life and force her to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term, chills me to my core.

If some low life with a protruding part and an evil idea in his head chose to harm my niece, she could not only be a victim, but forced into that burden as well.

Not that, between myself, my sister, and my brother-in-law, the perpetrator would love to see another day. (Legally I feel like I should say that we are in no shape, form, or fashion, planning to, nor have we committed any sort of crime.)

Parents: educate your children

Male or female or whatever. Educate your kids. while I know my sister has already started the conversation well before “tragedy” struck, there’s still more to come.

Men and boys have it easy. The thought that my niece has to experience Aunt Flo’s monthly visit now and until menopause, makes my heart hurt for her. Boys don’t have to deal with it. They get the whole change of voice, they get taller, and facial hair that society doesn’t tell them is gross and should be promptly removed. Girls have to start buying special products that cost way more than something we have to have should.

My sister and I are talking about having a conversation with my niece, as women. I hope to be ready for it, so we can help her with this gawdawful transition.

It has occurred to me

That because of this new path she has to travel in life, and the small but evident age gap between them, she and my child, who have been so close, close enough for The Kid to call my niece her “best friend”, might grow apart. That’s not to say I think my niece will change overnight. But it’ll be an experience they cannot share in just yet.

It also reminds me that in roughly two years The Kid could be going though the same thing.

Hopefully by then I’m on sufficient amounts of medically prescribed “assistance” to get me through the whole thing.

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All your body are belong to government

25 Saturday Jun 2022

Posted by in News, Non-Fiction, Truth

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If you don’t get that reference I might be old.

I could not, nor would I ever want to imagine my life without my child. I know what it was like before. I remember thinking I might never have her. I also know without a doubt that if something ever happened to her it would end me.

But that isn’t what this post is about.

This post is about the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v Wade.

While we did struggle to conceive, and we did require some help having a child, we were lucky that we struggled as little as we did and the help that we needed allowed us to conceive relatively naturally.

But we were EXTREMELY LUCKY that we did not have any miscarriages. There were points at which, during the process, I thought terrible things like “I’m not even able to miscarry. You can’t miscarry without pregnancy.” Looking back now I feel like a terrible person, especially remembering what people I love went though.

My mom’s very first pregnancy, for instance, ended in a miscarriage. From the stories she told me, and even up into her 60s, she was absolutely devastated. Even now, the gravity of a miscarriage compared to being unable to conceive at all is so extreme.

And now, with the overturning of Roe v Wade, and knowing the only treatment in some cases for a miscarriage can be considered an abortion, and that women who desperately wanted the child they lose, could be prosecuted for their loss—I just—.

A woman who is losing a child she wanted so desperately, who gets turned away for treatment because said treatment is an abortion, that woman could lose her life. This woman who was on vacation in Malta had to travel (while suffering an incomplete miscarriage) to have an abortion.

But no, it is the life of the non-viable pregnancy that is more important. Since, after all (currently in some US states), if said woman lives through the miscarriage, she could be released from the hospital into police custody.

Oh yes, and don’t forget about the woman, or child as is sadly the case more often than it should be (since once is more often than it should be) who is raped. If the victim falls pregnant with her rapist’s child, and that woman doesn’t wish to have to relive the trauma with more trauma, her only option is to have an abortion. But alas, she could go to prison, while her rapist, who could even be a relative, goes free. And then said rapist could sue for custody (This woman lost custody of her child to her alleged rapist).

Yes. There are more abortions than just miscarriages, or rapes. There’s also the devastation of getting pregnant only for your joy to be shattered when you learn your child has a genetic condition where it may not live to be born, or perhaps only a few moments of suffering before it passes in your arms.

Or when your child will be born and live but with special needs far beyond your means. Perhaps life supporting machines and tubes. Because insurance in the United States (just like gun laws and human rights) is garbage.

I’m a grown ass adult and I know that if something happened to me tomorrow, and I needed special machines and equipment and chairs or even limbs to live a normal life, I would not want that burden on my husband (he’d do it I know he would, but I wouldn’t be happy knowing he’d have to). Plus, it’s all so expensive.

Oh. And you cannot forget the number one reason why this whole situation is absolutely absurd. There are people who know nothing about you, who know nothing about medicine, who want to control what you do with your body.

But not if you’re a man.

But once you, a non-man, has said baby the government so desperately wants to protect, they want nothing to do with you or the child.

Until it’s time to vote.

I can probably name every single family member who has the opposite views from me. And luckily for each of us not a one of them probably reads this blog. As such, they are entitled to their opinions, as am I.

Of course, if you ask they will probably say they “don’t support murdering babies.” Well, neither do I. But I do support that a woman has a right to her own body and a right to make decisions in her bests interests.

Just like I have a right to my decision to not have any more children (don’t worry I have to take birth control or I risk cancer. Also The Kid and exhaustion are my backup birth control). Or the right to lose weight or not. Or quit caffeine. Okay that one is complicated I have a problem and it’s hard to quit.

I wouldn’t think of trying to force a man to do anything with his body he didn’t want too. Why should a bunch of strangers with more power than they deserve be allowed to chose what happens to my body?

If you’re not outraged by that idea, you’re wrong. Or a dude. A male dude. Dude is gender neutral.

Gonna make “the melatonin is kicking in.” My sign off.

Thanks for reading.

-c

Pro-Whatever

11 Saturday Jun 2016

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece

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I am posting this at the risk of having massive amounts of hate spewed violently in my direction. The following statements are my opinions. I feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion, regardless of how those opinions make others feel. I hope my readers will bestow upon me that same respect. 

There’s currently an image going around comparing the reactions to the killing of a lion in a game hunt and the death of a gorilla with regards to the safety of a child to abortion. 

I’m going to state now that neither do I condone nor condem abortion or those who choose abortion. Neither do I try to form to firm an opinion on the deaths of the animals mentioned above. 

I can understand why some women and/or couples would choose abortion. Perhaps they know they cannot properly care for a child, perhaps their health of the child’s survival would be at risk. I believe that such a choice should not be made lightly. I believe that because you were reckless, stupid, and irresponsible, you should be able to just shrug it off as an “oopsie” then have it “taken care of”. And I think if one has multiple abortions and is still dumb enough to be so careless you should be sterilized. Because the chance that someone could pass on such idiocy is too much of a risk to the world. 

But there are other options. Carry the child to term, give the child up for adoption. As a woman who thought she’d never have a child, knowing someone could just “get rid of” one hurts my soul. There are thousands of women who cannot reproduce on their own who would trade you if they could.  

But still too, are facts. The number of children murdered, abused, molested by family, the children who are neglected, mistreated, ignored, homeless. Even the number of children without families. These numbers are higher than the “3,000 abortions a year.”

Most people’s reasoning for being against abortion are religious. “God won’t like it if you abort this baby.”

My response: what about the miscarriages? The stillborns? The babies born but lost before their lives could be lived? I know parents who’ve lost babies only a few years old. I know women who long to be mothers who’ve had multiple miscarriages. I’ve heard of babies born only to live mere moments before dying in the arms of those who waited for them. Who is to be blamed? Did God, in His almighty glory and mysterious reasoning decide this? God has a plan, they say. I’d like to know what that is. 

What if, and bear with me and my outrageous blasphemous ways, what if abortion is his plan? I’ve always been of the mind, “If God didn’t want it to happen, why would he let it?” Why would he let moms and dads enjoy and prepare for a coming baby then take it all away? Why wouldn’t he stop abortions if he didn’t want them to happen?

But then I can imagine judgment day, someone who was careless and stupid and practiced unsafe sex, only to shirt and say, “I’ll just get an abortion” only to look the child they “got rid of” in the face, and be judged. 

I don’t like abortion. I don’t like the idea of abortion. I’d never have one personally. It makes me sad to think that babies that could have gone to loving willing waiting homes were lost. 

But I also think that I don’t have a right to tell someone what to do with their body (except the whole practice safe sex thing. That’s important). I won’t judge an individual if they’ve had an abortion (it’s not my place). Unless it’s multiple abortions because you’re an idiot. Sorry. 

The fact is, for me, I don’t practice any religion, because I frankly don’t understand it. I don’t participate in active debate on any one topic because most of the time I have no idea what anyone’s talking about. I’m not political in any sense of the word because I’m too lazy to know what any one party wants out of the deal. Because of all of this I refrain usually from stating my opinion. I’m pretty much to lazy and don’t care enough to be informed. 

I also think that things are going to happen without my help, so I might as well let it screw itself over. 

I hate abortion. But I’m not going to tell you you can’t. After all, I’m not your God, your mom, or your supervisor. 

-c