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Tag Archives: Black friday a zombie story

“Black Friday: A Zombie Story” is 10.

25 Friday Nov 2022

Posted by crashdlanding in Black Friday: A Zombie Story, Non-Fiction

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anniversary, black friday, Black friday a zombie story, crash landing, crashdlanding, decade, embarrassment, non-fiction, work, writing

Finally, a bookcover made with something other than Canva. This one was done with GIMP. Like, five years ago.

In honor of the most popular thing I’ll have ever written (and that’s not saying much) turning TEN FREAKING YEARS OLD, let’s celebrate with an embarrassing story from today, of all days Black Friday.

So, as you aught to know by now, I do, in fact, work retail as my primary job. I will never and shall never name the RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT where I earn my bread. There are things you will never know about me, and that’s not one because it’s not hard to figure out. ANYWAY…

Of course today is what used to be known as the biggest shopping day of the year. To be honest, it was absolutely, ridiculously, insane, three years ago. But the panini press happened and we all know how that went.

So, at RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT Black Friday is a dulled down event spread out over multiple days throughout the month of November. They first started changing aspects of it because people started getting hurt fighting over cheap and cheaply made towels and washcloths. But then the world was hit by, it was struck by The ‘Rona.

Today, the actual Friday in question was a very VERY mild shadow of what it used to be. The Store was busy, but not insanely so, there were not wall to wall people, and honestly the deals weren’t that amazing.

I was myself at one point working on some merchandise maintenance, and had to take a secure item to the registers. As I was doing so, I decided I needed to leave my portable printing device in a secure location so as to protect it from being picked up by co-worker thieves who don’t like to hunt for their own equipment.

So I did something I assumed was going to be a great idea.

Some need to know information: as one often sees in all retail locations, we have many large cardboard displays called “PDQs”. My research tells me those letters stand for “pretty darn quick” or “product displayed quickly” which are both kind of hilarious and accurate.

I have often thought that the people who design these doodads absolutely earn every dime they get because I’ve seen some seriously clever PDQs.

Back to the story, I looked around and saw a perfume giftset PDQ and thought, that’s a PERFECT a place to hide my printer. It had a little top on it that the printer could sit right down in.

So, moving right along, a customer’s perfume in hand, I gently tossed my printer into its tiny hiding place.

Have you ever done something and expected the sound of it happening to occur and it took a split second longer to make the sound? Well, I didn’t immediately hear the printer thump onto what I assumed was a sturdy cardboard platform. I did, however, hear, a split second later, a thump like the sound of a printer that had traveled the length of essentially a cardboard rectangle prism only to thunk onto a hard plastic pallet.

The full height of this PDQ display is roughly four feet. I’m not good with measurements. But it would be entirely too difficult to reach by hand. So, without missing a beat, I continued to the register area of the store, took (what I now remember was) Guess Men’s Body Spray up and placed it behind the register.

Between the happening of the incident, walking up to the front, and back, I contemplated how I would manage to retrieve the printer. Despite knowing at least two very tall co-workers who would help, I knew I’d rather risk death than embarrassment and a friendly joshing from either of them.

Of course the only solution was absolutely fantastic and honestly I’m proud of myself for thinking of it. i kneeled in the floor. And removed items out of my way, a few perfume gift sets (I think it was “Lucky You” ironically). I whipped out my technically “illegal” in the store box cutter, and then proceeded to poorly cut a trap door in what was, in fact, a hollow PDQ. My yeeted printer was sitting comfortably right there. I reached in and rescued it from us cardboard well of despair.

Unless some cheeky TURD happened by and decides to look back at the security cameras to see what the heck happened, I’m clear of any nonsense.

Now, I would have been significantly more embarrassing by my own sheer stupidity in the moment had I not been having stomach issues all day. I also didn’t let myself think of anything but a solution, and not how completely bonkers and probably hilarious it would have looked, had someone been recording me, and witnessed my momentary pause when I realized what had actually happened.

Of course this embarrassment is much healthier for me than the constant feeling of embarrassment that I have when I think I’ve said something that makes me sound dumb. Of course, that’s because I think everyone already thinks I’m dumb anyway.

Hey, I have a question.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt QUACKS.


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BMB: Let’s boot up my 10+ year old Toshiba laptop

19 Tuesday Jul 2022

Posted by crashdlanding in BMB, Non-Fiction

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Black friday a zombie story, crash landing, crashdlanding, KDP, kindle direct publishing, memories, non-fiction

Day 19: In which I boot up my 10+ year old laptop
She thick
She OLD

Why tho?

Cause I’m crazy and wanna see how long it takes?

To be honest, a few coworkers have showed interest in Black Friday: A Zombie Story. Thought I had a few copies at home for sale, but I didn’t. So I went on Kindle Direct Publishing to see how much it’d cost to buy a few copies.

Turns out I was in the middle of updating the book and had to go through some things. But I realized, since KDP doesn’t have a mobile site, I needed a computer.

I felt more like being lazy in bed than sitting at my desktop. So I thought let’s whip out the old maid.

Yup

Several minutes later

It didn’t take as long as I expected to boot up. Once I put in my WiFi password the date updated. I had just logged into KDP when The Kid woke up and came to my room with her bedsheet in hand like she was gonna sleep with me. So here I am laying next to her until I know she’s out, with a possible fire hazard on my bed.

I don’t know why the laptop would be a fire hazard, she’s old?

Anyway I have a feeling I’m not gonna get much out of it. It was purchased in the Windows 7 era. It has windows 10, because of a free update. Heck, she sports The Sims 2.

Also, I battery life was trash before I got the desktop, not that I traveled with her much. It shocker, it’s actually charging, considering at boot up it gave me an error.

Seriously though. Will it explode?

Another item of note: WordPress.com, my website host, will not load on it. I’ve tried Firefox, my browser of choice, and Microsoft Edge. I mean I guess that’s what it is. In fact this website “CrashdLanding.com” struggled to load. It also, in fact, continues to say “not responding”.

My leg is quite warm

The temperature of the computer in my lap is going up, a significant amount of apps start their processes in “not responding” mode. But there’s still quite a bit of exploring to do. Especially considering there’s music on here I forgot about!

I’m gonna continue to explore this massive old mountain of my past and see what I stumble upon. But I’ll tell ya right now I’m not gonna last long. Ya girl is sleepy.


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Welcome

23 Saturday Apr 2022

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Truth

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Black friday a zombie story, crash landing, crashdlanding, followers, introduction, life, likes, non-fiction, nonfiction, welcome, writing

Over the last few days I’ve gotten several likes and views and maybe one or two followers. Not that it makes me a famous blogger yet. But as it’s been a while since my last post, I thought I’d reintroduce myself.

Hi, my name is Crystal. Welcome to my website/blog. Where I share the most random collection or posts and stories you may ever come across.

Here I will talk about my mom, who passed four years ago. Family related things, though I’ll never name anyone. Other general life related topics. I often briefly discuss changing my life and going in new journeys.

I like to do a “series” called “You Don’t Need…” where I pretend I’m a self-improvement/advice blogger and talk about things that the would tells you you need but might not be accurate.

I also like to say I’m a writer of fiction. I’ve written and self published a few books, currently available on Amazon. The most popular of which is “Black Friday: A Zombie Story. It was written for my friends and coworkers at the time and one reviewer pointed out that that fact made it less good?

One thing I do a lot of here that I feel I should warn you about is I Lie.

I make promises I never keep. I have good intentions, but little follow through.

The only excuse I can give you right now is that I am exhausted about 97% of the time. I work a full time job, I am a mom of an under 10 Kid with ADHD. I’ve been suffering from excruciating foot pain. And as someone who works on their feet for a living, that’s not good. After spending 8+ hours a day on my feet, I come home and only wish to rest. I can’t usually get past short form videos on my phone to think about doing anything else.

I tell myself I’m gonna try harder, because I would love for this to be come a career. But I try to live in reality to an extent and I know that it’s unlikely.

So, if I have any new followers, welcome. You might see me once in a blue moon, but know it’s not because I don’t wanna be here. Ya girl is just tired. Lol


Thanks for Reading

-c

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Black Friday: A Zombie Story

21 Monday Feb 2022

Posted by crashdlanding in Black Friday: A Zombie Story, Fiction

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Black friday a zombie story, crash landing, crashdlanding, decade, facebook, fiction, non-fiction, writing

My most popular (but mostly with the people who were in it and know me) story will be a decade old in November. Here’s a little throwback to poor video making skills.

Regardless of all the typos, run-ons, inconsistencies, and bloopers, it’ll always hold a special place in my heart.

Hope I can write something again!


Thanks for reading!

-c

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Official Announcement

08 Friday Dec 2017

Posted by crashdlanding in Black Friday: A Zombie Story, coming soon, Non-Fiction, Official Announcement, Uncategorized

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Black Friday 2, Black friday a zombie story, coming soon, crashdlanding, Official Announcement

Also yes. I am back.

I’d like to officially announce my candidacy for president.

Haha. No. Seriously you couldn’t pay me enough…

As you might be able to tell, I am (actually) officially announcing the long awaited sequel to Black Friday: A Zombie Story!

Due to a recent surge in interest, mostly by the people around me, I have decided to ride the newfound popularity like it’s the cow jumping over the moon. Also people have been asking.

I think I’ve been avoiding it all these long years because I didn’t think it would ever get as much attention as the original, or that I could please people they way I didn’t with BF:AZS.

But the recent attention as brought the story, and how it ended back into my mind and my heart. And I want to make people happy.

The only problem is figuring out the logistics! With the plot and ending of the first one, how in Bob’s name are gonna open up a new chapter?!

But I’m sure gonna try!

Stay tuned for updates, you can find most here:

Crashdlanding: The Facebook Page

-c

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News

24 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by crashdlanding in News

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black friday, Black friday a zombie story, crash landing, crashdlanding, news, secret, writing

like it

ill never tell… if i dont get likes


Ha. Lol anywho… On another note…

I plan on removing Black Friday: A Zombie Story from all platforms in June 2017. My reasoning is “no ones gonna buy the cow if you can get the milk for free” is that how it goes. 

This was sort of a hasty decision. By then, it will be available for purchase on Amazon in paperback and kindle (and other possible sites) by then. 

So if you wanna read it but without having to spend money, do it NOW. 

On Crash Landing & On Wattpad. 

Thanks for reading. Or not, whatevs

-c

PS: Merry Christmas!

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Rewrite

01 Saturday Aug 2015

Posted by crashdlanding in Black Friday: A Zombie Story, My Writing, Non-Fiction, On Writing

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black friday, Black friday a zombie story, favorite fiction, rewrite

“Black Friday: A Zombie Story” is, of everything I’ve ever written, my favorite thing. It makes me laugh, it makes me sad. There’s suspense, there’s action. There are people from my life in it, and it reflects aspects of my life. It was also quite popular with my coworkers. 

I love it, to say the least. 

But just about the only thing I didn’t like about it was the way I chose to end it. Technically there were three endings. The original, the one I went with, and the alternate. 

The original is lost forever to the alternate domination known as “deletopia”. I don’t even remember it. The one that I put at the end as the final chapter was idiotic, and the alternate was me trying to feel better about it. 

The reality is that I didn’t want to end it. I enjoyed almost every single moment of writing it, I enjoyed even more the attention–however limited–it received. I have actually sold a few copies in Amazon, a few of which I cannot account for from friends. But I had to end it, and end it I did. 

I just ain’t happy. 

So, with the current republishing process I’m taking BF:AZS through, I planned on rewriting the ending to better reflect the story, the changes (though none to plot) and the possible future. 

But I’m having an insanely difficult time doing it. AGAIN. 

I have had so many ideas for the ending, but when I sit down to write it, I draw a blank. It also doesn’t help that I’m afraid my current fans–those who read the original ending–won’t like it. 

But, in order for me to get back at writing completion of this project is important. I have a schedule to keep (I thought it’d help me get done, but I’d forgotten about the ending). I’ve fallen behind twice. 

So, hopefully by or before actual “Black Friday 2015” I’ll have a new version of “Black Friday: A Zombie Story” available. 

And maybe there’ll be a part two 😉

-c

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Update

07 Thursday May 2015

Posted by crashdlanding in News, Non-Fiction, Unfinished Business

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Black friday a zombie story, update

I am sure all of my followers are still checking in daily, hoping for this post. So sorry for the wait. But, here it is. 

Since finishing my last project, I’ve decided to complete one that I stopped midway through. The posting of pages of “Black Friday: A Zombie Story” has been stopped in its tracks since February. Having a tiny human makes pretty much anything else difficult. And it’s only since she’s been sleeping in her crib instead of the guest bed with me that I was able to write anything, much less a seven “episode” Twisted Tale called “Handy Manny: Call Manny for Murder“. 

During and since the writing and posting of HM:CMFM I’ve been getting ideas galore. But I just recently decided to complete “BF” before doing or attempting anything else. A bit of an “unfinished business” kind of thing. 

So, starting next Thursday, “Throwback Thursday” or as I like to think of it “Black Friday on Thursday” (ironically) will resume. I also learned a lesson during my Twisted Tales feature. I’ll be updating and adding links to previous and following posts/pages to the older ones. So, you fine folks can start from the beginning. 

I’m sure all of this fantasmical news is going to skyrocket my stats, but I don’t do it for stats, obviously! I do it to spread joy and fiction to the world. Or just, like, five people. 

By the time I’ve concluded the posts, I’ll hopefully be at the point where everything in the BF document has been reviewed and mistakes corrected. My initial plan was to edit as I posted, so I could republish with a perfectly edited and updated document. 

The editing factor is one of the many reasons why it took me so long in the first place. 

So, here’s hoping we get back in a rhythm!

-c

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SERIOUSLY?!

15 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by crashdlanding in Books, News, Non-Fiction

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amazon, Black friday a zombie story, over priced, sales

I make it an unhealthy habit to go on Amazon and check out my books. Usually the first one that I go for is “Black Friday: A Zombie Story”. Amazon tends to adjust the pricing of the paperback (not Kindle, though) as they see fit, and I’m fine with that. I don’t sell many copies, and what I do sale, I make, like, less than a dollar in royalties per copy.

But this time around I happened to notice that there were some people trying to sale used copes.

This does not bother me, not in the slightest. If my book can get around to people, and they enjoy it, fine. That’s the point, right?

But the fact is, there are three sellers “attempting” to sale the book USED VERSIONS OF THE BOOK for MORE than what Amazon is. Not only that, but at minimum, a dollar and more than what I originally had it set as!

WHAT?!

WHAT?!

How in the world do they think they can make any kind of money off of this?! I’m surprised to this very day that I’ve sold, like, eleven copies in two years. The fact that someone is trying to sell a USED copy of a book WITH OBVIOUS PROBLEMS for $1-$2 more than Amazon, I am shocked… just… shocked.

To the sellers… you’re stuck with it. Might as well read it!

-c

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Over an Hour Later

15 Wednesday Oct 2014

Posted by crashdlanding in News

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Black friday a zombie story, update, writing

I’m finally sitting down tonight to work on “Black Friday: A Ghost Story”. Well, technically I’m here, talking to you wonderful people! But still, my intent within the next ten minutes or so is to begin the process of writing on “BF:AGS” and post at least a few pages of “Black Friday: A Zombie Story” on facebook.

I figure since a lot of the people who want to read the new one, haven’t read the first one, I’ll post it for their reading pleasure!

I will be posting it here, as well, for those of you who wish to read it. Are there any of you left?

Anywho, I just wanted to update here, and let anyone reading know that I’m actually (trying, really hard) to be productive!

-c

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