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Tag Archives: fashion

It Has Pockets

13 Monday Mar 2023

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction

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Tags

clothing, crash landing, crashdlanding, fashion, non-fiction, pockets

But at what cost?

I recently discovered that there is a direct correlation between the size of my pants and the size of my pockets. This is not implying that no pants equal no pockets. Wait, I guess it is. But here I am referring to my jeans. Specifically, the bigger the pants the bigger the pockets.

Allow me to elaborate. I buy most of my jeans, which is all I wear to work, at Lane Bryant. If I need jeans in a hurry, I buy them at Walmart. Lane Bryant is a plus size retailer, my local Walmart location doesn’t carry a huge selection of plus sized clothing. Now most of the jeans I’ve purchased at Lane Bryant are too big. This is not due to my recent Spite Diet. They were always big. All of those too big jeans are so big that if I don’t do something to keep them up I have to pull them up repeatedly throughout my workday. So big, in fact, that I have multiple times threatened to “moon” those around me just by walking or, lort forbid, bend over. The jeans I’ve purchased at Walmart, which are a few years old at this point are all two small (and all different sizes despite the number on the tag).

The few pairs of pants that I do not have to pull up or sinch at the waist, have small pockets. These are the Walmart jeans.

So, the problem is this, the only time that my phone can be put in my pocket without it threatening to pants me in public is when the phone can barely fit in said pocket. I suppose the choice is either struggle with my pocket or my pants.

Yes, this is an absolute ridiculous reason to post. This post is also not about the difference between clothing sizes and retailers. But there is a point.

Women’s Clothing Generally Lacks Pockets.

It is a well-known fact that women’s clothing, at least the bulk of it, lacks proper pockets. The phrase “Thanks, it has pockets!” couldn’t have become a thing without that being a fact. We ladies get super excited when we see we have pockets, especially ones we didn’t expect.

There’s a couple of theories floating around as to why this is true. One is the predominance of men in fashion. Men know how to design clothes that look good on a woman but don’t think about how the functionality of those items of clothing for the people that will wear them. The fact that MEN are more prominent in the designing of women’s clothing, is bonkers. But my theory about that is in the past women were always considered to be not for the professional world. Women belong in the home having families and taking care of husbands. And women back and that day didn’t need pockets to keep things in, but men did.

Another theory is that the main concern when designing women’s clothing is fashion over function. Designers make the items to look good, plain and simple, pockets are not a priority. And done the wrong way on an item, pockets can change the look or silhouette of the item. Like cargo pants. Imagine all the stuff you can carry in cargo pants. And then imagine how lumpy you’d look with them packed full of, I don’t know, marshmallows.

But not only does women’s clothes generally lack pockets, when they do have pockets, they are usually small. “Yes please, I would like the pair of pants with the pocket that I can fit this folded one dollar bill into!”

It’s all about Equality.

Seriously though. Men get pockets in their pants. Have you seen a pair of men’s pants without them? And they have big pockets, too. Everyone deserves pockets.

I do enjoy carrying a purse. I put all kinds of nonsense in there, but I don’t like taking one to work, the place I go most frequently, because I don’t always need all the things I carry in it, and with the Spite Diet, I have to carry a lunch box now. So, I don’t want to carry two separate bags to work when I don’t need most of the stuff in one of them.

Give me pockets and make them big enough for my phone and my Airpods and some cash and some lip balm. I don’t want a pocket that I can barely get my enormous smartphone into without wondering if it’s going to fall out of said pocket and smack its screen on the tile floor of my workplace. I cannot afford a new phone. Oh, and not just back pockets, like on most jeggings (yes, I still wear them, no I don’t care about fashion, sheesh).

In Conclusion

Pockets are just one of those “hot topic” issues that really shouldn’t be. It sounds ridiculous to get bothered by pockets, really. But its a the little things that can make life easier for everyone. Having a place to put a thing you wanna carry, without having to carry a whole other thing.


This post does not have pockets. Sorry.
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BATTLE TO THE DRESS: Episode Two

22 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by crashdlanding in Battle to the Dress, My Writing, News, Non-Fiction

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Tags

battle to the dress, beyonce, fashion, january jones, mad men, single ladies, who wore it best, yahoo

20140322-223331.jpgIn Which January Jones and Beyoncé Go Head to Head (Original Yahoo! article)

When fashion is in the news, I make it interesting!

In this episode, Mad Men actress January Jones goes head to head against the Queen B herself, Beyoncé (I’m loving the fact that my iPad knows to automatically autocorrect her name, accent mark and all), in an epic battle to the dress!

The ladies are decked out in an affordable (by actress/artist standards) black and white stripped number! January uses her black open toed heels as projectiles but Beyoncé tosses her black pointed toed pumps in a swift motion, deflecting the attack. Beyoncé returns by slinging microphone style nunchucks in a menacing manner, changing January with fierce determination.

However, January uses the paparazzi flashbulbs to her advantage, and parts her red painted lips in a devious wide mouth grin, and her teeth, made to look all the whiter, reflect the flash bulb glare and distract the pop star.

Bey Bey drops the mike, to shield her eyes from the pearly white glare, just as J.J. advances.

Just in time , Beyoncé recovers, trips her opponent, and the both end up down for the count! As the ladies lay brawling on the floor, time runs out and the ref calls the game.

Guest commentator Lloyd Boston, a TV host and style expert, crowns the winner as January Jones, “by a hair!” Turns out stripes are not a curvy girls’s best friend, which is where Beyoncé gets the points. January’s slender frame gave her the advantage in this Battle to the Dress!

An Honorable Mention, however, goes to Beyoncé for the “curvy” figure. While Jones is no bones (I’ve seen skinner) the pop star as them where it counts!

Shout Out to curvy girls!

Tune in next time for BATTLE TO THE DRESS!!

**credit to Yahoo! for the article
** I have no affinity for or issues with either lady!
**just for laughs also all in good fun
** I claim nor pretend no knowledge of value for fashion, acting skills, musical talent. I do however proudly proclaim my love of laughter and all around poking fun at anything entertainment. Because laugh.

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