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30 Thursday Dec 2021

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction, Rant

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

comment, crash landing, crashdlanding, facebook, life, like, non-fiction, social media, subscribe, validation

It has been 18 days since I logged out of Facebook.

I received an email attempting to lure me back.

90 notifications lol

I logged out for multiple reasons. The biggest one being that I had relied too much on the potential of what it COULD give me in spite of what I wasn’t getting.

The frequency with which I was “thinking in Facebook posts” in order to get a reaction or response, the fact that I got more feedback from my dreams than serious posts.

And even worse, starting to make a comment on someone else’s post, only to back off and not make it at all because I assumed that they wouldn’t care if I said anything at all.

But also, knowing that 90% of the people on my friends list wouldn’t likely speak to me in person if they saw me.

Social media of any kind is a method of attempting to receive validation from others that your existence has value and meaning in someone else’s life. Of course a lot of social media is people who have brand deals or sponsorships or some ware they are hocking. These individuals have already had their existence validated by society. Now they are paid to or are given free things as living advertisers.

We had a society want other human beings to do absolutely normal or even completely bizarre things for us to observe and comment on.

Positive or negative, no publicity it’s bad publicity.

Am I judging these people? Well, yes, certain ones if I’m being honest. Would I be perfectly thrilled with receiving something for free because I have it a good review one time? Yes. But I prefer cash.

Simple validation that my existence on planet earth and online meant even the most minuscule amount to literally anyone on Facebook made me feel good about myself. And the fact that it felt like I grew to need even the smallest amount of acknowledgment from anyone saddens me.

But most of the time I could go an entire fray of posting a range of things and get absolutely no response from anyone, and I would be heartbroken and assume that no one cared about me.

Simply put, my emotional instability was the opposite of helped by my constant need for attention and validation and acknowledgement via Facebook.

Also I watched way too many videos.

Have I quit social media completely? Lord no. I’m here aren’t I? But this website is my very poor way of trying to make myself know to the world as a writer/blogger/maker. I’ve been trying for a long time and get little acknowledgment and validation lol.

I also still randomly use Instagram and Twitter. Though I often forget about both and still get very little attention there. But I’m used to it.

I also have a dummy Facebook account where I post gibberish and use it to control the CrashdLanding Facebook page and Crash Landing Site Group. I’m too lazy to link them. (By too lazy I honestly mean I’m fighting a head cold, I’ve already had my medicine and my melatonin and I’m so tired my eyes are pointed in two different directions and I keep closing them and it takes me longer and longer to open them back up)

I also STILL watch too many videos.

This has gone on long enough and my tummy is upset from too much medicine on an empty stomach.

As always, thanks for reading (and validating my existence)

-c

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DO NOT LIKE THIS POST

14 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by crashdlanding in My Writing, Non-Fiction

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

comment, like, news Battle to the Dress, non-fiction, please, take to me, use your words, writing

Most days I don’t feel like I’m really very good at anything. I see other people’s stuff–photographs, art, writing– and think, “they are so much better than me! Who am I fooling?!”

Myself, mostly.

Why did I start this blog? Because a friend on Facebook had one and I thought it looked awesome. Because I thought I had lots of interesting and maybe amusing ideas to share with people.

So far the first post I didn’t think too hard on, the one that made me laugh the most is the one that got MAYBE four views. But post anything with the tag “Dr. Who” and you freak out all of WordPress. I think I got the most followers here with that. I’m pretty sure they’re disappointed now. Sorry, I’m not a Whovian, though my husband and best friend are. You won’t be seeing much of that here. Feel free to go.

My post about writers, the one where I shared a picture from my BF page where I talked about writing, that got a few views, and a share. That’s something, right?

You see, I have this… Problem. Difficulty? Issue? Mental defect? Yes, that’s it. If I am up to late, or do something I am happy with that doesn’t get much love, or a combination on the two, I often feel… Inadequate. I get depressed and have a mini existential crisis. What am I doing? Why am I here? WTH?!

Tonight its: why the heck do I have a blog?

If it is to seek approval, I am failing miserably. Sure, I do get the random like, I gain a follower here and there, maybe even a comment or two. But, I place very little meaning in likes. Likes tell me nothing. A like is nothing more than an acknowledgement. I saw it, it’s there, it exists. I left my like here, so you know I’ve seen it, job done.

I want to know WHY you liked it. WHAT did you like about it. RESPOND TO ME INTERNETS! Don’t tag my post with your impersonal mass-produced ‘like rubber stamp and move on to the next blog. Talk to me. Use your words.

Advancements in technology have blessed us all with the gloriousness that is the internet! With it we are limitless! We can move pixilated mountains with a copy/paste function, we can leave our marks on walls across the world! Yet you choose to do nothing more than click a one dimensional button that says “LIKE”?! How dare you waste the hard work and effort of the slew of people who worked to bring you the amazing ability that is that tiny button?! You’ve wasted their time!

Give someone with a bit of artistic skill and the will to use it a few cans of spray paint in varying colors and they can turn a grey concrete wall into a canvas, and they leave a bold and imagined and creative image for eyes to behold. Love it or hate it, graffiti is an individualized mark of a single person. It is art. “This is me, I was here, remember it, remember me” it says. Would you give that piece of art a thumbs up and walk away? Do you even vocalize the word “like”?

Because I write, I am a writer. Because I aspire to do something with it, I am aspiring. There for I am an aspiring writer. I may not be the best there is, I for one believe there is no “best there is”. We are all good in our own right.

But even if I suck, tell me about it! Tell me about my run-ons, inform me of my misspellings. Show me my point is wrong. When I say I hate when fashion makes the front page, tell me I’m dumb! When I say Kate Beckinsale could take Taylor Swift in a Battle to the Dress, tell me why Taylor has the butt kicking skills to beat Kate in a fancy dress brawl! When I share with you my writing, I want you tell me what you think!

Why have a blog if you don’t want people to tell you something!
Tell me I’m awesome. Tell me I’m not. Say it with words!

Rant over.

-c

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I’ve been thinking

11 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by crashdlanding in Non-Fiction

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Tags

blogging karma, comment, like, views

Is there such a thing as “Blog karma” or something? Because usually I’ve when I get a like on a post, or perhaps a new follower, I think, “I’ll check them out, and perhaps like or follow them! Perhaps as a thank you for visiting, come back soon!” I very rarely get a comment, and I’m always excited when I do. So when I do get one, I make sure to at least like it, and perhaps leave a response.

But then, sometimes I wonder if people even read the post they like. Do they just “Facebook” and scroll through look at the title and first few words and think, sure, I’ll like it?! I’m wondering because I’m trying to decide if I’m just making posts for the one commenter, and the handful of actual followers, who I’m not even sure if they’ve liked many posts after following.

That’s the problem I had win my Black Friday Facebook page, at first I’d get likes and comments from people, then slowly, once I stopped posting story pages, they dwindled. I get a handful of likes, maybe a comment (usually the same people) but then nothing. That page has 49 followers. I know because that 1 haunts my dreams.

So, do people just like my posts to hopefully illicit a view or like or comment from me? Because, what’s the point?

-c

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