She sees a thing and wants said thing. She’s had it in her head before, but it’s been a while. I’ve had to explain to her multiple times in the last 48 hours that it costs money we don’t have.
It goes without saying that she has, at least once, said, “But were RICH!”
I wish kid. I wish.
I understand that kids her age don’t really understand how hard money is to come by, or inflation and gas prices. But she’s just repeatedly reminding me how broke I am.
Even though she’s had some trouble the last year or so, she is an amazing kid, and she deserves all the things she wants in life. I just don’t have the means with which to give them to her.
But here’s how silly my child can be. She asked, when we were supposed to be going to sleep, if they (Build-a-Bear) has unicorns. Unicorns are the be all end all for her. I said I don’t know, probably. I told her if I were going to Build-a-Bear, of course I’d want to make one, I wonder if they have T-rex’s. She said, but what’s your favorite animal? BESIDES a TRex. I said, I dunno, a bird probably?
So we insisted that we look at their offerings. We saw a lot of animals, including a TRex and a velociraptor. We had to search for it, but we found a unicorn, and she loved it.
My hope and goal is to save up enough to take her to Build-a-Bear for her birthday. It’s toward the end of the year, so maybe about six months is enough time. The closest location to me, I believe is in Charleston. it would be an amazing thing to be able to give her.
Do we like the new “YDN” image? I like it. I think.
You Don’t Need… Money to be happy
That trusty old saying, we’ve heard all our lives. “Money cannot buy happiness.” According to an article I found by googling “Money can’t buy happiness”, the saying itself means that true happiness comes from within.
Happiness itself is an intangible thing. Its not something that you can call 1-800-Happiness and, after 30 easy payments of $49.95 own it, placing it on your mantel in a place of great honor, right next to your kid’s plastic trophy they received for passing kindergarten.
Honestly it was a plastic medal on a red, white and blue string that said, “WINNER” but The Kid was super proud of it for like two whole weeks.
Until it disappeared. Its here somewhere. I think. But it was more or less CoviGarten so they all deserved it.
Yes, Happiness is not something you can purchase for any amount of money, and finding it within yourself, or even outside yourself is important. Especially in the times we are living in right now, we need to find ways to be happy, and it can be difficult.
But… having money can sure help.
Not where you thought I was going with this, huh? I do indeed like to surprise people. The article I mentioned above, while having several valid points, also mentions so many things THAT REQUIRE MONEY.
For example, the author says that, “On the other hand, when you look at photos of trips you have taken, nature that inspired you, family and friends, and people who captured your heart in different ways, it probably fills you with a sense of joy.” Almost every single thing in that sentence has required money. Right down to the photos you look at. Yes, FreePrints.com exists (Not sponsored but I’m open lol) but you still gotta pay shipping bro.
Another point the author makes is that, yes, things cost money, but if you budget right then you can afford it.
What.
Seriously dude. I can remember multiple times in my adult life where after I paid my bills I had less that $5 in my bank account. And this was pre-automatic savings deposit. This was also pre-student loan pay off. But also pre-multiple credit card payments (credit cards are bad, umkay).
I know people personally who are barely making ends meet. They worry on a daily basis about money. And having just a little bit more would make everything about their lives so much easier.
Doing What You Love
CAN make you happy. But even THAT can cost money.
For example: My current pipe dream is to have my own creator space. Not just any creator space. I want a large building where I can have all my crafting, creating, and making supplies. Also, a storefront where I can sell my creations. But I want to have space so other likeminded people can have their own creator space. I even know what kind of building would be perfect.
But every ounce of that dream would cost money. And I don’t make enough at my current place of employment to even consider the idea.
We won’t even talk about the movie theater (blog post coming soon: That Time I Wanted to Buy a Movie Theater).
There are valid free roads to happiness.
Things that make me happy that cost absolutely nothing are:
My Kid saying “I Love You”
My Kid having a great day
Making people laugh
This blog, for some reason.
Mandatory Family Time.
Valid reasons why having money can make someone happy
Bills would be paid (especially those credit cards)
House would be fixed (have a mentioned my leaky roof?)
The check engine light on my truck could be addressed (still tempted to shove it off a cliff)
That vacation we planned could still be taken AND new beds and mattresses.
The Polls
Over on the group I created, dedicated to CrashLanding related non-sense, and on twitter I post polls. I love polls. I asked, simply, “Can money buy happiness.” The response was overwhelming that the public believes that yes, money can buy happiness.
Yes, it was only four people, and twitter generally ignores me, BUT STILL. VALID.
In conclusion
The truth is everyone is different. Different things make us happy. One person might be perfectly content in sharing in quiet family time. Someone else might be happy to take a long solitary walk. I would be thrilled with a good night’s sleep. It might change someone else’s entire outlook on life if they got enough money to pay off all their debt so they didn’t have to worry.
I had initially planned on posting this to Facebook (I’ve still NOT reactivated) but decided this would be the best place. It’s mostly just my ranting after a difficult day.
I am not a happy person. I haven’t been one for a long time, now. Of course, I love my child, my husband, my family, my friends. But there are a number of factors that have contributed to the decline of my mental wellbeing. Namely: work and money.
There have been a certain number of changes in my workplace that haven’t gone over well for me. A number of things have happened and are happening that either make me angry or depress me. And making myself accept these changes as something I have no control over is difficult for me.
While I have always known that I have no control over what happens at work, I have had to come to the realization that no matter what I want to happen or what changes I’d like to make, and no matter how hard I try–such as a position or shift change–I will never be given the opportunity to do so. No matter how much I want it.
Money has also played a role in my changes. Foremost is the knowledge that because I got used to NOT having my loan payment to worry about, I’ve been neglecting it for months. While I had it deferred for one glorious year, I could have been putting money back, saving, preparing for its eminent return. I did not think about it, I did not work on saving for it once leave was over. And because of my lack, it’s my fault that I’m in dire straights now. And that’s, in combination with cut hours and other bills, the stress of money bears down on me like Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.
So I am not a happy person. I am a stressed, depressed, and angry person. And quite often this anger, stress, and depression is taken out on others. If anyone has been hurt, offended, or annoyed by my behavior over the last several months, I apologize.
Lately, it seems the only comfort and peace I find is in the evening snuggles with my child. Tonight, while I’d hoped that she’d be asleep when I got home, she was awake. Her daddy was trying to get her down to sleep, but when she saw me she practically tried climbing over him to get to me. My heart melted. We cuddled a bit before she got to fussy and too tired. Soon after giving her a bottle she was out and sleeping peacefully in my arms. I looked at her and whispered, “Mommy loves you, you know that?” And I kissed her cheek.
She is my best thing ever. She is my happy place. Even when she’s fussy, or grumpy. Even when she’s trying to bite my fingers. Always. She’s my sunshine and she makes my days brighter.
She doesn’t quite understand when or why mommy is upset and she doesn’t know how happy she makes me. But she is sure good at brightening my life.
I am not a happy person. I’ve cried recently more times than I can count. I’ve longed for some miracle to come and make my life just a little bit easier. I’ve wished for something better to come along. I’ve prayed that I didn’t have to stick with a job I honestly don’t want anymore. But for my daughter and my husband I stay.
But I cannot much longer.
Once some of my bills are paid off and the burden of money has lifted slightly, I WILL find something different. I WILL find something new. Whether it be in a school, or flipping burgers, I WILL not do this anymore.
Until then, it’s head down mouth shut. I will accept the things I cannot change. I will do my job, I will work silent and quick. I will do as I am told. I will smile and greet customers and assist them eagerly–as I have always done. That is one of the few things I enjoy best about my job. Helping customers. Yes, even the rude ones.
Someday the light will not brighten only when my daughter is around. Someday the light will be bright always, and I will be happier. Someday, someday, someday.
On October 4th, I’ll have been married to my wonderful husband for seven years. In that amount of time, I’ve learned a great deal about a great many things. Here’s a list.
Marriage: No matter how long you’re with someone, how much you love them, there will ALWAYS be times when you dislike them. Maybe those are brief and it probably fades. But always.
Parenting: You might love your kids with every beat of your heart, but man they can drive you nuts.
Money: Money is, in fact, the root of all evil. You are envious of people who have it when you don’t, and when you have a steady job, the more you make, the more you end up giving away.
Work: If you love your job and can see yourself moving up, it’s a career. If you don’t, it’s work. And work is hard, so work isn’t necessarily loved.
Wants: Whether you have everything you need or not, you always want more.
Needs: Being thankful for having what you need, even when you don’t have everything you need, can make not having a little bit easier. Not always a lot, but a little.
Charity: Helping others, whether you know the person or not, is all the more gratifying when they appreciate it. And when they don’t appreciate it, you tend to lose a little bit of faith in humanity.
Faith: Having faith and being religious can be two very different things. I have faith in many things but I can’t call myself religious, because I’m not sure (even at 31) of what to believe.
Rights: You have a right to be, do, think, feel, and say in all that you do. Unless it’s work, other people, or publicly related.
Love: love is the greatest, kindest, least (monitarily) expensive thing you can ever give or receive. But it can also break you in many ways.
Crash Landing 