The goal was to make them to sell, but my Cricut is being absolutely stupid.
First, I had to do some warranty violating things to my printer. If I go for more than a few days without using it (honestly it’s typically six months to a year), it wants me to clean the print beads or nozzles or whatever and that uses an ungodly amount of ink.
But I figured out why that has to be done. It’s because of the amount of in that just sits in the nozzles between prints that doesn’t even get used, dries out and clogs it. Then it ushers the most inefficient way of unclogging, which is I assume, blading an ungodly amount of ink through the nozzles to force any clogs out. This way the manufacturer gets more money because you run out of ink faster. Plus, when it says the ink is empty, it’s 100% not empty.
Anyway, I eventually got it printing well, reminding me that it is a really good printer, despite its faults, after all. I waited until almost bedtime to work on it, they printed fine.
I had to dig my Cricut out and plop it on the bed.
It was only after one cut attempt, a calibration and another cut attempt that I gave up and hand cut out these six stickers. One was sliced from the poor cut, leaving me with five.
I’m keeping the damaged one for myself. Saving one for the sister, that would have left four. However, I just realized I slapped a perfectly good one on my water bottle, leaving three. I miss counted that twice so that’s a sign I should probably give up and go it bed.
In other news, I finished the most recent drawing challenge. It’s awful but it’s done. I’m going to start working on the video as soon as my iPad stops being a spaz. And I’ve had some sleep.
It really is too bad I’m.l not wealthy enough to be unemployed
Today was Martin Luther King Jr Day. So the kid had a day off school, and it was my regular day off work. So we got to have a nice lazy day at home.
I managed to make myself a breakfast that my Lose It app said was only at grams of fat. And it was good!
And after I dragged myself away from TT I worked on the third drawing challenge some more. Took ages but I’m finally happy with the dragon. But the coloring part is giving me an aneurysm.
I was looking for free Procreate brushes that would help with dragon scales. But all the ones that lol like they’d work are paid. And I know I won’t use them again, so I don’t want to spend the money.
But he’s almost done so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.
I’ve been a bad at dieting the last few days. Went out to eat with my sister and her kids for my nephews birthday and I didn’t try to do well. I’ve also forgotten been too lazy to meal prep the last few days. I also had Dino nuggets and fries for dinner. I feel bad, like I disappointed someone. When I’ve got no one rooting for me, really.
I really just want to give up and drink me a Pepsi and eat me a couple pizza rolls.
But I’m also saving money by packing my lunch. So. I guess I’ll stick with it. Just like I’m sticking with this blogging thing.
Hopefully Cora tomorrow.
Also it’s raining so I’m expecting to get dropped on the head in my sleep
Today was Martin Luther King Jr Day. So the kid had a day off school, and it was my regular day off work. So we got to have a nice lazy day at home.
I managed to make myself a breakfast that my Lose It app said was only at grams of fat. And it was good!
And after I dragged myself away from TT I worked on the third drawing challenge some more. Took ages but I’m finally happy with the dragon. But the coloring part is giving me an aneurysm.
I was looking for free Procreate brushes that would help with dragon scales. But all the ones that lol like they’d work are paid. And I know I won’t use them again, so I don’t want to spend the money.
But he’s almost done so I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.
I’ve been a bad at dieting the last few days. Went out to eat with my sister and her kids for my nephews birthday and I didn’t try to do well. I’ve also forgotten been too lazy to meal prep the last few days. I also had Dino nuggets and fries for dinner. I feel bad, like I disappointed someone. When I’ve got no one rooting for me, really.
I really just want to give up and drink me a Pepsi and eat me a couple pizza rolls.
But I’m also saving money by packing my lunch. So. I guess I’ll stick with it. Just like I’m sticking with this blogging thing.
Hopefully Cora tomorrow.
Also it’s raining so I’m expecting to get dropped on the head in my sleep
I’ve officially been on the Spite Diet for 17 days. Weigh-in (according to my home scale) is tomorrow. While I’d lost 6 pounds at last weigh in, I know that it’s important to weight loss to exercise.
So I decided I was going to go to the gym.
But, see, there’s a problem. I don’t like doing new things, by myself. That’s why it took me nearly a decade to pump my own gas (which was also done out of spite). Doing new things by myself gives me anxiety.
I don’t know if it’s the fear of failure, or anti-social tendencies, or what, but the idea of it was daunting.
Even at 7am, when I knew it would be hours before I would be going, I thought about it all day. This anxiety is probably the reason why I don’t ask for help a lot.
Anyway, I finally convinced myself to go by telling myself I would make a TikTok video (yes, you read that right) about the process. Going, getting out, going in, on thr treadmill, and then in the vehicle being all proud of myself.
But eventually the time came for me to clock out and change. I’d brought my gym clothes to work to change in the breakroom rest room. That’s at I didn’t have to do it at the gym.
I changed, no one mentioned my clothes, and walked to the truck. I messaged mg husband that I was going and he said, “Work up a good sweat.”
You see, once I got over the initial walking in bit, I knew that I could get on the treadmill and do what I’d came for.
But alas, it was not to be. Upon arrival I sat in my truck for a minute. I said to myself, hey, you’re an adult. You don’t need someone to hold your hand. You pump your own gas you can go into the gym.
I see there aren’t many people there, I get out, walk to the door, and ITS LOCKED. My first thought was, okay, after hours, it’s okay, three years ago you paid for a key fob to get in after hours. I run back in and… it doesn’t work. I try it over and over. It makes the beeping noises but no dice.
I am disappointed. Almost on the verge of tears.
Also a little angry. Angry because I’d had to psych myself up and got nothing but anticlimactic failure.
Eventually I decide, instead of pouting and going home, what felt like empty handed, I am going to go to a local walking trail in town and walk.
My dudes it was 36 degrees.
But I did it.
I walked one lap, about a half mile. It felt good but my nose was cold for two hours after. If it were warmer I would have walked more.
I would have spent an hour in the treadmill though.
I am going to go back, I’m going to go at regular hours, and I’m going to see about getting a replacement key fob. Because Sundays are gonna be the best days for me to go by myself. And I will go by myself.
Still, I’m a little proud of me for walking up to that door alone. And walking the track alone.
Reminded me I’m a terrible daughter by saying he’s learned not to expect phone calls from his kids.
He talked for almost half an hour.
I was yawning like crazy.
Didn’t want to miss a daily post.
Promised to call home tomorrow then remembered I had plans 🤦♀️. But I’ll still try to call him somehow. I don’t think he’s doing well, and that hurts me. Even more so because I’m bad at being a daughter.
Call your parents, if you have them. If not, call a friend. They need you even if they don’t need you.
I am not starving myself. I am not depriving myself. I eat three meals a day. I get plenty of calories and protein and all that good stuff.
I’m hungry because I want nothing more than to gorge myself on junk food. I want Taco Bell. I want a cheesy Gordita crunch and a Crunchwrap supreme with a large Pepsi. I want ice cream. I want a ten piece chicken nugget and a Big Mac. I want sweet tea.
I want cake. I want a fudge round. I want Pepsi.
I want cool ranch Doritos and Fritos with chili and cheese. I want gravy and biscuits with bacon and scrambled eggs. I want cinnamon rolls.
I want to get out my bed and go into the living room and chug vanilla almond milk straight from the carton at 10:30 at night.
I feel like it’s important to acknowledge the things that you want, whether your going to do that thing or not. So this is me acknowledging that I missing the delicious unhealthy borderline disgusting food I ate before the Spite Diet began.
No, I never ate myself into stupidity. I ate until I was satisfied. And I didn’t eat constantly. In fact, I eat the same number of times a day that I did before I just eat better. And with limits. Like serving sizes.
I think I can safely say I was not nor have I ever been addicted to food. I feel like the fact that I maintained the same weight off and on for a decade days that.
But you know something I miss that didn’t think I would ever miss? PIZZA. It’s only been two weeks and I miss pizza daggumit. A coworker brought a fresh hot and ready little Caesar’s pizza in for lunch. I stared at it. My Turkey burger was good but not want I was craving!
I’ve done really well so far. So I’m gonna keep going. And I’m going to try really hard. Like I have been doing. Even if I forgot to meal prep for tomorrow.
But I am having Taco Bell for dinner. The power bowl isn’t terrible.
I recently started a drawing challenge for myself. The first one came from whatever the first thing to pop up on a random generator was. I asked my niece to choose the second and then the third.
The third is the absolute hardest one so far. A dragon.
Now, she choose the dragon for me on this video:
Like, December 26th?
It’s at the end. You don’t have to watch. Anyway…
Of the three options I knew she’d choose the dragon, somehow. Mostly because I knew it would be the hardest one. Fun fact, I once painted my husband, back when he was still my boyfriend, a dragon for our first Christmas.
He has since informed me that it’s actually a “wyvern” not a “real dragon”. Which, by the way, rude. I’d never drawn one before, let alone painted it. So it kinda made me feel bad. But he doesn’t read my posts so doesn’t matter what I say here.
So, with this most recent dragonian adventure, I did what any sanenormal me person would do. Put it off for two weeks. Every single time I messaged or FaceTimed my sister, the niece asked, “have you started on the dragon yet?”
My answer was always no, and she’d always ask why not. I’d give various reasons but honestly?
FEAR. OF. FAILURE.
My reasons for everything.
But tonight, I decided that it would be a better waste of my time than scrolling through TikTok endlessly, to start on this dragon. And so I did. Like, four times.
At one point I even got so fed up with erasing I closed one Procreate canvas and opened a whole new one. I’ve drawn and redrawn so many parts of this dragon that there are probably twelve different breeds of dragon floating unfinished in the digital eraser dust of the universe.
I used to imagine that the things you erased lived on in another form in the eraser dust you swept off your paper carelessly. There’s a universe somewhere where all those mistakes exist.
The dragon himself is currently living tailless on the canvas. You see, I got every bit (of the initial sketch) done but the tail, because I thought, “That’s gonna be the easiest part.”
But no. The part of his body, where his torso ends and tail begins looked wrong. I stared at it so long my brain only saw deformities. So, I created a new layer, hid the part I needed to edit, and drew a new tail to see if I liked it better.
The husband agreed that it did, and I erased the original and added the new. But then that bit still needed reworking.
So I erased that too.
Because even though the only person who needs to really see the dragon is a ten year old who probably only cares about choosing the next challenge subject, and that’s the only opinion that matters, I’m still being particular about it.
Therein lies the problem. It’ll never be perfect because I’m not an artist. I’m a doodler. I have been a doodler for decades. I’m not painter, nor do I sketch or any of that stuff. I doodle. I draw silly pictures of borderline depressed stick aliens named Steve in the borders of my college notebook papers.
And yet I tell myself I can do better because it’s not good enough.
But, despite that, despite the fact I’d love to keep working on it well into the midnight hours, only because the unfinished of it is eating away at my soul even as I type this, I am leaving it. I’m not leaving forever, it will not go unfinished, nay nay. Tomorrow probably, I will work some more. Hopefully I’ll finish it then.
But then there’s the silly video too.
The lesson of the day: do not seek perfection. Perfection is a silly thing, a nonexistent entity. A thing worshiped by many, claimed by a few, and attained by none. It’s nothing to praise or long for. The only things that are perfect are a child’s laughter, a well formed flower, and the way leaves tend to spread out in a canopy of trees. And rainbows. I think rainbows are pretty perfect.
I didn’t realize how long I’ve been on my self-imposed diet plan. And honestly I’d weighed myself a few days ago, and I didn’t like it. Mostly because it said I’d gained ten pounds. And I knew better.
I ended up asking my husband to look at the number on the scale. I use an analog scale, the one with the hand that moves. I stopped using digital scales because I never got an accurate measurement twice in a row.
When you move around it changes, so between leaning over to see past my gut, and trying to fit my big feet on the thing perfectly, I was getting highly inaccurate numbers. So when the hubs came and looked I lost six pounds.
I will freely admit I was a little emotional. I didn’t expect any change, least of all a loss! But here we are, six pounds down.
So here’s what I’ve been doing, if you wanna know.
Cut down on pop (soda if your weird): Pepsi is my addiction. But I went a full week without one. Had one one day, skipped it the next, then caved and had another. But I’m gonna try harder this time. *eye roll*
Portion Control: my normal intake is multiple servings of whatever food we’re having. But I’ve stuck to serving sizes and single helpings. My mother in law likes to cook. She grew up in a time when a full plate was healthy food. But a half a pound of baked ham, two cups of corn, and two rolls isn’t healthy that’s over eating.
Counting calories and limiting carbs: I love carbs. Carbs are my favorite meal. If I go to prison my last meal is gonna be pasta and bread and potatoes. But I know too much isn’t good for me. And there are more calories in foods than you think.
Protein Shakes: the things are expensive, and I guess they’re supposed to help you feel full longer? I don’t really notice a difference for me, but I’m trying to up my healthy protein intake.
Meal prep: when you’re at work and hungry, you’ll get whatever sounds good. And I work at a retail store than has a decent sized non-refrigerated food section. And everything sounds good. If I meal prep my reasonably healthy food at home, I have lunch ready for the next day. I also save money.
Lots of water: duh. Most people don’t drink enough water, and it can be hard working it into your daily life. I carry a large link 80oz jug to work, and challenge myself to drink as much as I can by the end of the day.
Intermittent fasting: I try to only eat during a certain twelve hour window. It’s really not that hard. I usually have my last meal of the day eaten before 7:30pm. My fast usually starts at 8pm, and goes until 8am. But when I’m working I don’t usually get to eat until 8:30-9:00am. It works because I don’t start getting really hungry until about then anyway.
The Lose It App: I’ve managed to log my meals for twelve days. That’s the longest I’ve managed to keep up with it. and the app tracks how many calories and carbs, how much fiber, and protein I intake. As well as how many calories I burn thanks to my phone and Apple Watch. I can track my water intake as well. I can also create a recipe in the app with measurements, tell it how many servings, and it’ll calculate the macronutrients and such. I will definitely renew the app in March.
Goals
The initial point of this whole thing was to see how much I can lose my March 29th (78 days). No actual goal was in mind while starting this mission.
But now I’ve set a checkpoint. I want to get down to 300 pounds. I’ve not given myself a timeline, Low expectations make for minimal disappointment if a failure occurs. For me, anything lost is a win. Maintaining that loss would be even better. So if I weigh myself again in seven days, and I’m still 310, that’s ok.
I am going to try and overcome my social anxiety and go to the gym. I need to add too my calorie deficit in order to lose more. But, I a scurt.
It’s not the curriculum that is being taught and it’s not the teachers who have to teach it that are the problem, it is the parents who were never taught it who are.
Do not misjudge my point. Or do, I’m not the police. But fighting over common core math is a pointless endeavor maybe.
What is Common Core Math? And why do it be?
Yes, I know I don’t use proper English. Have you even read my posts?
Common Core is a set of standards adopted by states, which governs the way that subject matter is taught in public schools. Common Core Math is just one subset of Common Core, which I will abbreviate to CC for the remainder of this post. CC includes language arts and mathematics subjects taught to K-12 students. It is a set of standards that are the same throughout the United States, throoughout the states who have adopted it, which is important considering education is dictated and governed by individual states.
Honestly, I’m researching as I write this, most of my prior knowledge about education and its practice comes from education I received over a decade ago and never used. So, I mean, don’t quote me. The state of Kentucky, the state I was born and raised in, got my education degree in, and currently live in adopted Common Core Standards in 2010, two years after I graduated from college. Actually, according to my research, Kentucky was the first state to adopt CC, out of all those who did so.
States have always used their own set of standards in education, but CC was created in 2009 and states began to adopt it as their education standards in 2010.
Former Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue and I co-chaired the initiative to create the standards because we shared the concerns of lawmakers, teachers, school leaders, businesspeople, and parents that expectations for our students were not high enough to prepare them for life after high school. Although the effort was entirely voluntarily, 45 states ultimately adopted this set of fewer, clearer, and more rigorous standards in English language arts and mathematics. With the input of educators, policymakers and experts, we laid out the knowledge and skills students need to be prepared for college and career opportunities and set practical bars for them to achieve.
Basically, CC was created to improve the learning of and prepare students for growth and life after high school. There was an idea that the standards were not high enough for students to gain the knowledge they needed to succeed in life as adults. So, someone saw a need for it and created a solution. Each state voluntarily chose to adopt CC, as each state was given control over their education systems. These standards were also created to establish a set of standards that could be used across all 50 United States to equalize education throughout the country.
What’s the Problem Though?
The main issue I see with the adoption of CC by states is that the parents of today have not learned the way that their children are currently learning. The kids who started learning with CC are, at the oldest thirteen years old, and babies shouldn’t have babies that need to learn based on CC standards. Meaning that there shouldn’t be a soul who learned that way who has a kid that needs help.
Like I said earlier, I went to college to be a teacher, an elementary school teacher, and I graduated two years before my state adopted CC. I do not recall being taught HOW to teach kids with CC standards.
Why is doing so as hard as it seems? Well, because CC Math isn’t just teaching kids that 2+2=4. It’s teaching kids that to get the answer to that problem, you need to figure out how to add it step by step.
For example:
This is a math problem my child will have to do tomorrow evening, at home, with me. The second image is me trying to figure out where the 30 came from.
The whole idea for this post came from me having to deal with frequent messages to a message group created by the teachers of my child’s grade. One parent was, let’s just say, not thrilled with the complication of the problem. Where, in fact, did the 30 come from? The problem does not explain the existence of the number 30. I assume it’s existence in the problem came from rounding up 27. That would explain one of the threes. Maybe? Yes. I don’t know.
My theory as to why these problems are so complicated is that it can cater to children’s different learning abilities and also contribute to critical thinking skills. How is there another way to figure out how many kids joined the first 27 kids to make a total of 63, besides subtracting 27 from 63 (which is, in fact, 36).
Actually, the problem is already done, they literally just trace out the answers. At least The Kids likes to do that.
In fact, this sheet is part of a four page, back and front, packet that she brought home that has to be done by Friday. I don’t like to rush her or over work her, but she wanted to do ALL FOUR PAGES tonight. The kid likes math, and I’m not mad.
Now, had there been more of an explanation to the problem, perhaps access to an article or video or something that the parent could have observed and understood the problem better, maybe there would have been less issue. But these kids aren’t given textbooks to read to take home, they have their own workbooks that sheets are removed from when they have work to bring home.
There is some controversy with CC. More than one or two states who have adopted the standards have repealed them Wikipedia says that Kentucky adopted them in 2010 but repealed them in 2017. A quick google search reveals that to be false. Republicans wanted to repeal the standards and also make charter schools a thing, which, no. Republican’s said that because the state’s students were not improving on their test scores (do not get me started) that CC needed to go. But based on that article they only started making noise once Obama gave his thumbs up.
The Thing Is
If parents understood CC better, math being the biggest issue from what I can tell, then I think they would have less issue with it. In a way, CC complicates education, and doing so makes it difficult for teachers to teach it and parents to assist their children in learning it. And having nothing to go by but a worksheet with mystery numbers can increase a parent’s frustration. And not being able to help your kid when you need it can lead to that kid struggling, and every suit’s favorite thing–numbers–get affected.
And by numbers I don’t mean math problems. I mean the test scores by which students’, and there for the schools’ progress is measured. And teachers have had to teach to a test and not to a student for years, long before CC, and having funding for those schools depend on the numbers complicates matters further.
I’m going to put all of this simply, using the same explanation I’ve used for a number of things in the past, and will use again in the future. Someone is always going to find a reason to hate something, or stir up a ruckus, no matter what you do. Repeal Common Core, then the things that change will be what everyone else has a problem with,
My Opinion
Common Core is a subject in and of itself and it is complicated. On the one hand, I can see the benefit of having one set of standards throughout all of the United States. I can see the benefit of having math problems that teach multiple ways of finding an answer, and lessons that trigger a child’s critical thinking and problem-solving skills. On the other hand, having something so compilated and hoping the parents, who don’t all have college degrees in education (perhaps the old system failed them?) and no way for them to know how to find the answer the way the problem is asking, puts a burden on the parents, who feel like they are failing their children.
Me? I’m just going to do my best to help my math loving child. She got that from her dad, by the way. I hate math.
Crash Landing 