Tag Archives: religion

“You Don’t Need…” (3)

15 Saturday Aug 2020

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece, Truth, You Don’t Need

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Life lessons from someone who tried to be a teacher.

… to be a Christian to be a good person.

You just need to BE. A. GOOD. PERSON.

“You’re really nice. You must be a Christian.”

Some lady I was nice to at work once.

Your Image Isn’t JUST What You Show People

Someone the other day shared this image on Facebook. I commented with: “And sometimes very good people are covered in tattoos and go to church.
Every body is different every person is different and every heart is different.”

Your appearance does not define you. Your religion does not define you. Someone who had been baptized or saved can still do bad things.

It is your words, and how you say them, your actions, and how you take them. And your heart and how you use it.

If it’s not already obvious, I am legitimately NOT a Christian. I’m not an unbeliever either. I’m a not sure what to believer 🤷‍♀️. I’ve struggled with what to believe for many years and especially so after my mother’s passing.

Good People Aren’t Just Christians.

My mom was a good person. One of the best people I’ve ever met. I’m not just being partial. She was kind to everyone she met, she loved when she didn’t receive love in return. She helped raise half a county. She raised her own four children to be loving dependable and responsible.

She was not a “Christian”. Though she was never saved and didn’t attend church, she still had her own beliefs. One of the big ones was “treat others the way you want to be treated.” Also: “be good to your mom” 😉.

At her funeral, the preacher, a man who’d known my mother since he was little, did nothing but preach that she would want you to go to church and be saved. He said nothing about her going to a better place. She was a good person. But she wouldn’t be going to heaven.

I have not given my soul to Jesus. But I like to think I’m a good person. And I know people who identify as Christian who aren’t good people.

But Christians Can Be Good People

While I know some Christians who are “bad” people, I do know some who are good people, kind people. I’m not being judgmental or characterizing all Christians as bad people. Being Christian doesn’t make you good or bad.

I’ve always thought that a person who had faith as strong and unshakable as I’ve seen some people have must be strong and determined. It is admirable, giving yourself so fully to something such as faith.

How to Be a Good Person

  • Do good things: volunteer, donate to charity, feed the needy or homeless.
  • Be kind: use a positive attitude with others, let people know when you appreciate them.
  • Avoid: violence, hate, judgement.
  • And, you know, don’t MURDER people 🤷‍♀️

Basically, treat others the way you’d want to be treated, do not judge others by their outward appearance, but by their character and heart. Let others know you care for or respect them. Do good things with yourself and for others. The list goes on. But a person doesn’t have to be a Christian (or believe in God) to be a good person.

In Conclusion

You don’t have to be a Christian to be a good person. You just have to be a good person! But if having faith gives you wings, then fly, friend.

Thanks for Reading

-c

Pro-Whatever

11 Saturday Jun 2016

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Opinion Piece

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I am posting this at the risk of having massive amounts of hate spewed violently in my direction. The following statements are my opinions. I feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion, regardless of how those opinions make others feel. I hope my readers will bestow upon me that same respect. 

There’s currently an image going around comparing the reactions to the killing of a lion in a game hunt and the death of a gorilla with regards to the safety of a child to abortion. 

I’m going to state now that neither do I condone nor condem abortion or those who choose abortion. Neither do I try to form to firm an opinion on the deaths of the animals mentioned above. 

I can understand why some women and/or couples would choose abortion. Perhaps they know they cannot properly care for a child, perhaps their health of the child’s survival would be at risk. I believe that such a choice should not be made lightly. I believe that because you were reckless, stupid, and irresponsible, you should be able to just shrug it off as an “oopsie” then have it “taken care of”. And I think if one has multiple abortions and is still dumb enough to be so careless you should be sterilized. Because the chance that someone could pass on such idiocy is too much of a risk to the world. 

But there are other options. Carry the child to term, give the child up for adoption. As a woman who thought she’d never have a child, knowing someone could just “get rid of” one hurts my soul. There are thousands of women who cannot reproduce on their own who would trade you if they could.  

But still too, are facts. The number of children murdered, abused, molested by family, the children who are neglected, mistreated, ignored, homeless. Even the number of children without families. These numbers are higher than the “3,000 abortions a year.”

Most people’s reasoning for being against abortion are religious. “God won’t like it if you abort this baby.”

My response: what about the miscarriages? The stillborns? The babies born but lost before their lives could be lived? I know parents who’ve lost babies only a few years old. I know women who long to be mothers who’ve had multiple miscarriages. I’ve heard of babies born only to live mere moments before dying in the arms of those who waited for them. Who is to be blamed? Did God, in His almighty glory and mysterious reasoning decide this? God has a plan, they say. I’d like to know what that is. 

What if, and bear with me and my outrageous blasphemous ways, what if abortion is his plan? I’ve always been of the mind, “If God didn’t want it to happen, why would he let it?” Why would he let moms and dads enjoy and prepare for a coming baby then take it all away? Why wouldn’t he stop abortions if he didn’t want them to happen?

But then I can imagine judgment day, someone who was careless and stupid and practiced unsafe sex, only to shirt and say, “I’ll just get an abortion” only to look the child they “got rid of” in the face, and be judged. 

I don’t like abortion. I don’t like the idea of abortion. I’d never have one personally. It makes me sad to think that babies that could have gone to loving willing waiting homes were lost. 

But I also think that I don’t have a right to tell someone what to do with their body (except the whole practice safe sex thing. That’s important). I won’t judge an individual if they’ve had an abortion (it’s not my place). Unless it’s multiple abortions because you’re an idiot. Sorry. 

The fact is, for me, I don’t practice any religion, because I frankly don’t understand it. I don’t participate in active debate on any one topic because most of the time I have no idea what anyone’s talking about. I’m not political in any sense of the word because I’m too lazy to know what any one party wants out of the deal. Because of all of this I refrain usually from stating my opinion. I’m pretty much to lazy and don’t care enough to be informed. 

I also think that things are going to happen without my help, so I might as well let it screw itself over. 

I hate abortion. But I’m not going to tell you you can’t. After all, I’m not your God, your mom, or your supervisor. 

-c

Faith based

15 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Rant

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I have lied about my faith (or lack-there-of) several times in my life. Not many, but enough for me to lose track, even though I was never counting. 

Those few times, for one reason or another, have been with good intentions, or because the individual I was lying to didn’t need the intimate details of my personal war with religious confusion. Yes, I’ve had customers ask me if I were a “good Christian”. I’m sure they had the best intentions. 

But you will not find lies here, when it comes to my fluttering faith. I would never pretend to be anything I am not. I am no atheist, and I am no Christian either, I suppose. I’m a confused floater, destined I suppose, to linger in limbo–never fully forming a pure belief system. 

But I’ve decided something today. 

I would never put my church, should I ever adopt one, before family. 

Whether that’s what has been done here or not, I cannot on good authority say. Perhaps what this person is doing is out of fear, and staying away will put off the inevitable-whether or not it’s sooner or later.

But from my end, a very distant end, despite proximity, it appears to be the truth–that church has come before family–and that makes me sad. Sad for the person who misses the other. Sad for both, when the inevitable occurs. 

My conclusion is this: I cannot see a faith being for me, if said faith–written or not–“encourages” church over family. Growing up we weren’t the poorest of the lot, but my family was by no means well-off. A lot of the time all we had was family and each other. And keeping each other safe and healthy was important. My mother instilled that importance in me when she put her children before all else. 

And I’m not trying to minimize the importance of the bond one may have with their “church family” and I would never condemn or belittle anyone for their faith–I’d expect the same respect.

When you’re born, you are born into a family, and that is the first thing you have. Good, bad, or ugly. But if that family is good, and you are loved and wanted, I cannot see where said family would be less important than your church.

I generally try to be as vague as possible when I think, on the off chance, someone I know personally might read my posts and take offense, be hurt, or upset in some way by what I say. But I’m about to make a slight exception. 

Give an old man your time. He loves you, and he is scared and hurting. He’s not even my blood, and I’m devestrated at the thought that the time may be upon us that he will no longer be in my life. 

Finally thought: love your family while they are here. You never know how long you’ve got. Don’t let yourself have regrets. 

-c

Believe it or not

07 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by in Non-Fiction, Truth

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I am not a religious person. 

I feel that, having no idea what I believe in, and lacking the desire or time to explore it, means that I am not religious. 

But I have prayed. I have sent vibes up into the universe hoping for some kind of miracle. I have laid in bed, talking (in my head) to someone or something that might maybe hear or sense my hopes and dreams and needs. I’ve said “amen” at the end of these internal monologues. 

I don’t know if it does any good. But as my mom says about her incessant worrying, “if I worried and nothing happened then that’s fine, but if I didn’t worry and something bad happened, then I’d blame myself.”

Basically, you might never know if it does any good, but it makes you feel better to do so. 

I often envy those who are devout in their religion. The willpower, the determination, the outright positivity that God is there and He exists, and you do not question it no matter what, that’s something. 

But can that perhaps be also considered something else entirely? Stubbornness that what you believe (or were raised to believe?) is the one truth? Or the close mindedness to not accept that perhaps it is true, in addition to other possible truths?

I think somethings are real or become real because of our steadfastness and the power of believe in them. 

Perhaps if I believe hard enough, I can find a job in which I can be happy, or if I believe hard enough, I can be happy in my job. Maybe if I believe I’l be a good enough writer to make a living off that. Or if I believe, maybe I will become a teacher, someday. 

Or, as my husband has been known to say, “monkeys could be flying out of your butt.”

-c

“What’s a grave for?”

07 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by in Non-Fiction

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My sister was asked a very interesting question today, by her five year old son. E is a very smart, very, shall I say, rambunctious kid. He went through a lot when he was born (I was the only one, aside from the many nurses and two doctors, in the room). He was 15 weeks early and born weight a hefty (I say that sarcastically) 1 pound 10 ounces. But he fought his way out of the hospital and into health.

The question was asked as they drove by a graveyard. He’d been looking out the window and he asked, “Mommy, what is a grave for? And why are all those flowers on them?”

She was floored, as I’m sure anyone else would be. She did the best she could and explained that people die, and they bury them and put up a headstone and put flowers on them, so they have a place to go and remember the one they lost. She said he was happy with the explanation, and I assume he had no more questions. Yet.

I think she did as best job she could at explaining someone so difficult when put on the spot. An even bigger fear, she says, is his inevitable question of “Why do people die?”. She said she’d much prefer “the talk” over explaining death to a five year old.

When I heard her story, I thought, “But how DO you explain death to a five year old?” As anyone who hopes to have children one day, I anticipate this question with some unease, and a bit of curiosity. And I also think, “How would one explain death to a child, without the inclusion of God?”

Let me explain: I will freely and openly admit to all who care to listen, that for a long time now, I have been “on the fence” about religion. I’ve had my qualms with it for my own foolish and emotionally fueled reasons. I’ve also been “shown the light” in my own private moments. There are many reasons, some of which I may get into at later dates, but mainly I am confused and disappointed.

Because of my religious backwardness (I say that meaning I am not backward because of my religion, but I am backward about it, phrasing may need some attention) I am apprehensive about a religiously inclusive home. If someone, usually a member of the “Sunday rush” at my day job, asks me if I am a Christian or if I think I’m going to heaven (which is entirely too personal a question for our “Customer/retail worker relationship”) I may hesitate. I’m a good person who’s just unsure of what to believe. So, when it comes down to explaining to a child why people die, my initial thoughts, regardless of how far advanced my religiosity may be at the time, is to keep God out of the response.

I know several people I know would say, “Because God didn’t want to wait any longer, and needed them in Heaven with him.” Or “Because God thinks we needed them more.” I had a dear family friend pass away many years ago, and the general  explanation was “God needed her in heaven to take care of all the animals.”

I think the best, most straight-forward way to do it, without confusing a vulnerable child would be to avoid the simple answers, like “Because it was meant to be”. I’ve always hated that, really. Sorry, this person whom you loved very much is gone and you’ll never see them again, no matter how much you need them, miss them, or want them to be here. It was meant to be.

And if you try to explain aging, won’t that just confuse them too? I have a grandmother whose almost 90, which I think is a miracle, by God’s hands or not, but she’s outlived her parents, and all 29475930 of her brothers and sisters. Yet, she’s had health scare after health scare, and is currently living in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s. There are children that die from cancer or diseases they were born with. They die young, having never really lived. Why do people die?

We die because we cannot live forever. I’m sure science will make a change in that dilemma, though not in my lifetime, ironically. We are not born with a timer that says how long we’ve got. And we don’t get a chance to plead with Death, make our case to stay on earth and finish what we started. We die because we do.

Maybe “taking God out” of the inevitable explanation you’ll have to give your child, regardless of religiosity, is the simplest way. After all, they’re children, and they will find a question to ask about your answer.

How would you do it, if God forbid, your child lost someone near and dear?

I think I’ll just have people tell my children “She signed that great publishing contract in the sky!”

-C