Over the last few days I’ve gotten several likes and views and maybe one or two followers. Not that it makes me a famous blogger yet. But as it’s been a while since my last post, I thought I’d reintroduce myself.
Hi, my name is Crystal. Welcome to my website/blog. Where I share the most random collection or posts and stories you may ever come across.
Here I will talk about my mom, who passed four years ago. Family related things, though I’ll never name anyone. Other general life related topics. I often briefly discuss changing my life and going in new journeys.
I like to do a “series” called “You Don’t Need…” where I pretend I’m a self-improvement/advice blogger and talk about things that the would tells you you need but might not be accurate.
I also like to say I’m a writer of fiction. I’ve written and self published a few books, currently available on Amazon. The most popular of which is “Black Friday: A Zombie Story. It was written for my friends and coworkers at the time and one reviewer pointed out that that fact made it less good?
One thing I do a lot of here that I feel I should warn you about is I Lie.
I make promises I never keep. I have good intentions, but little follow through.
The only excuse I can give you right now is that I am exhausted about 97% of the time. I work a full time job, I am a mom of an under 10 Kid with ADHD. I’ve been suffering from excruciating foot pain. And as someone who works on their feet for a living, that’s not good. After spending 8+ hours a day on my feet, I come home and only wish to rest. I can’t usually get past short form videos on my phone to think about doing anything else.
I tell myself I’m gonna try harder, because I would love for this to be come a career. But I try to live in reality to an extent and I know that it’s unlikely.
So, if I have any new followers, welcome. You might see me once in a blue moon, but know it’s not because I don’t wanna be here. Ya girl is just tired. Lol
You ever have so many things you want to do but absolutely zero time or energy inwhich to do them?
Well that is my life. I think willpower has a lot to do with it too. Lately my life feels more or less like every day is the same and nothing ever changes. Because it be like that. It do.
Maybe that’s why it all seems to go so quickly and I have to stop and think, “is it already Friday?”
6:00am: wake up get and ready for work.
6:30am(ish):leave for work.
6:45am: get to work and sit in the parking lot contemplating staying in the truck for 8 hours.
7:06am(ish): clock in and work.
8:30-9:30am: take a 15 at some point. Get Gatorade and peanut M&Ms, 99% of the time.
?-11:50am(ish): do work things (including but not limited to complaining under my breath about the following:
The 9,000 daily tasks I’m expected to do along with the “here this needs done” extra things.
11:50-12:50am: have lunch. Look at funny pictures in my phone for an hour while thinking about how much I could be getting done with the #pretendfantasynovel and blogging and all kinds of stuff.
12:50pm(ish): more work
2:00pm(ish): last break. Whatever man. Talking to coworkers?
4:00-4:30pm(ish): go home. If it’s a week day I pick The Kid up.
Spend the rest of the evening after dinner either wasting my life on the Internet watching videos or looking at funny pictures, wallowing in self-pity, or wishing I could change myself or my life.
8:00pm: begin bedtime routine
Brush my teeth.
Get kid’s teeth brushed.
Go to The Kid’s room.
Melatonin gummy for The Kid (1mg The Kid is a lightweight).
Brush her hair.
Lotion her feet and hands (helps us both relax and she also has the softest feet of any human).
Give The Kid her allergy meds and tummy gummy.
Story time till she falls asleep (almost done with “Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets”).
Sit in The Kid’s bed next to her sleeping form looking at funny pictures or writing this blog post (I’m now editing in my own bed).
9:30-9:40pm(ish): go to my room, contemplate the possibilities of doing something productive. (Actually I’m editing a blog post.)
10:00pm: Realize I’ve spent too much time looking at stupid stuff on the internet, take my melatonin, take my medicine and try to get comfortable in my hard ass bed.
I’m currently completing the editing of this post at 10:28pm. MY melatonin is kicking my butt. Luckily I don’t take it on my days off.
Wake up a million times in the night.
Sometime around 5am my body says “that’s enough” but I ignore it and struggle to go back to sleep.
Do it all over again at 6:00am, usually with some kind of ache and/or pain.
I realize my posts are boring and inconsistent and not helpful to anyone, usuallyespecially me. But this is how Icope with life and what my brain is doing.I’dprefer my brain to nothing most days.
But you know what, I’m not on any kind of medication keeping me from going completely bonkers (though I wouldn’t deny something would help me). I’m also still employed and haven’t run away to live as a hermit in an abandoned building on some unused corner of a reach persons’s sprawling acreage.
That sounds absolutely amazing.
But alas I have responsibilities, The Kid, people who love me and need me, and I still have a fully/mostly functioning conscience. So I’ll continue to perform this never ending dance routine. Even if sometimes it feels more like a backwoods circus sideshow than Cirque Du Soleil.
Goodnight friends. Thanks for watching. What? Watching? What reality are you living in right now…
For the first time in a long time she drove home with a smile on her face. Despite the late hour she spent the whole ride home singing along to her car radio—even if it wasn’t her favorite song. And she was happy as could be. It was late, and she was tired and in need of a shower, but she was happy.
She took a sharp curve too fast, and something in her trunk shifted. For a brief moment the old feelings of not being good enough and self consciousness flashed across her face like a dark shadow. But it was brief. “I’ll take care of that garbage tomorrow.” She told herself, and continued loudly singing along.
When she got home, she slammed the car into park and the thing in the trunk shifted again. She blinked at the sound. Then, she turned off the car and went inside.
She sang in the shower—it always seemed to be the last song she heard that got stuck in her head—she belted out the chorus to that catchy pop tune that seemed to be everywhere at the moment, and used her loofa as a microphone. Afterward, instead of laying in bed thinking about all the depressing stuff, she curled up under the covers and pushed all the negative thoughts out of her head. “Tomorrow is a new day,” she told herself. “And I’m going to own it.”
When she woke the next morning she was bright eyed and bushy tailed and still very happy. She made herself a delicious breakfast; there was nothing like a good meal to start your day right. She was feeling so confident that she decided, for the first time in a while, she would dress up for work, and put on some make-up.
Once she was ready, cute dress and “frankly the best make-up look I’ve ever done,” she looked at herself in the full length mirror. “People are going to ask, “why are you so dressed up today” and “what’s with all the makeup?!”” She realized it would draw more attention to her. “I’m going to feel so stupid!” She groaned.
“You can wrap a pig in velvet and throw some lipstick on it but it’ll still be a pig,” she remembered. The darkness of that old depression and low self worth shaded her face once again. But again she froze, and when she looked back up, she smiled at herself in the mirror and said, “You look great today!” And she did.
Once in the car, she pulled out of her parking spot and the thing in her trunk moved again. She paused, then said, “I’ll take care of that later.” And turned her radio up. Throughout her work day she got complements she’d never gotten from people who she thought didn’t know she existed. They said things like, “you look great today!” And “wow, cute dress!” For the first time in ages she felt confident. “Maybe,” she thought, “I’ll keep this up, I feel so great!”
Toward the end of the day there was free cake and drinks in the cafeteria in celebration of someone’s retirement. She was enjoying cake and conversation—she usually took her cake back to her cubicle— when she over heard people talking.
“No, she never came in to work. I was about to ask you if you’d spoken to her.” A man said.
“I actually haven’t spoken to her since yesterday,” the woman responded.
“I wonder if everything’s okay? She doesn’t usually miss work.” The man said.
“Especially if there’s a chance to make fun of people for eating too much cake!” He laughed.
She just stared at them, a darkness rolling over her face once again.
“HEY!” She heard a voice. She turned toward the sound. “You okay? You zoned out there for a minute,”
“Oh, sorry. Yeah, I’m—actually I’m not feeling well.” She said. “I think I’ll have to sneak out early.” She put her unfinished cake down, and rushed back to her cubical for her purse and keys. As she ran out to her car she felt the lovely veneer of happiness begin to crack.
When she turned the car on, the radio she left loud blasted a song, scaring a tiny scream out of her. She stifled it and turned the radio down. He backed out as the sky darkened with gray storm clouds.
She took a few curves too fast as the heavy droplets of rain slapped her car. The dark gray sky worsened as she drove the unfamiliar roads. She tried to keep singing along to the radio, but kept getting distracted. Instead she tried to focus on the road, and staying safe in the heavy rain.
She hadn’t driven the route in some time, and it was brighter and drier when she had, but she had business to take care of, and she knew she’d be happier once she did.
A few more minutes and a few sharpe curves later and she was at her destination. She backed her car against the cliff and hit the trunk button on her dash, quickly climbing out of the car and into the rain.
She took a deep breath and raised the trunk lid. The tarp had come unwrapped and a lock of perfectly bleached blonde hair and a red-manicured hand peaked out. “No one likes taking out the trash but everyone has to do it sometime.” She told herself.
She reached in and grabbed the corner of the tarp to pull it closer and the head of gorgeous blonde hair rolled forward. For a spilt second the darkness appeared and she thought, “Oh no!” She froze, but then refocused and said aloud, “almost done.”
She pulled and tugged until the blonde object was close, then one last hard tug, and she watched as the object in the trunk rolled down the embankment—hitting a few rocks on the way—and into the the lake below. She looked over the edge just long enough to make sure the object was gone, then she smiled widely and climbed back into her car.
Her cute dress ruined by rain and mud, her make-up smeared and running down her cheeks, she smiled in the rear view mirror and said to herself, “You looked great today.” She pulled away from the cliff and drove away singing that catchy pop song that was everywhere these days.
I really enjoyed this one and thought I’d share again.
As I begin once again to travel the darkened path leading me into and through a probable mental breakdown, I can only hope that I traverse the path and come out the other side relatively intact.
I am always struggling. This is all due to a combination of emotional retardation exacerbated by keeping my problems locked away inside my own mind, constant exhaustion, and an insatiable need to be liked by everyone.
This go ‘round the never ending cycle, the triggers were many. Here’s a list of them in no particular order.
I paid all my bills out of one check and ended up struggling to have enough money to pay for the continuation of this websites features. But I guess my bills are paid so oh well?
Wondering why I’m even paying for the site when I get absolutely nothing back from it. I mean I enjoy doing it but at what cost (roughly $180 a year, actually)?
My truck decided to completely stall while idling IN THE PARENT PICKUP LINE. Two other parents got out of their vehicles and pushed me to the side. In reality I realize it was not out of the kindness of their hearts but because of the inconvenience of my dead truck in their way. Now there’s ANOTHER part I need to buy. Again. No money.
I made the mistake of looking at education related job opening info at the school my child goes to. And realized very quickly once again that I’ll never be a teacher because it’s been way to long. Also I’m dumb.
Two people from my work have been promoted to upper management. This in and of itself is not the problem. The problem is that both of them are-give or take-ten years younger than me. They’ve both worked for the company for less than half the amount of time I have. And through all fault of my own I am still low on the totem pole and I’m still making less that $15 an hour even though I’m getting a raise. Though they will never read this: congrats and good luck to both of them. They’ll make great upper managers, I wish them nothing but the best. We will all miss them at our location.
So why is the title “the future ofCrashdLanding”?
In a year, when the payment comes due, for all the thingamajigs related to keeping this site alive, I will very likely save my hard earned money and not renew it.
All I ever wanted with this site, my Facebook page, the group, Instagram BOB HOW MANY SOCIALS DO I HAVE was promoting myself and all the nonsense I do, so that I might make a profit off doing something I love.
I can’t be a teacher because I made the ill-fated decision to take time off, and get any job so my husband didn’t have to keep paying my student loan payment. I’d told myself six months. Six months turned into thirteen years. And I’m basically back where I started.
I loved being in a classroom. I loved teaching, what little I got to do. I am a different person now and I think I’d be better at it now than I would have thirteen years ago.
No one wants to buy the jewelry I make. No one wants my resin products. I did not lose interest in those things I lost hope. Why sit under crouched over a pair of pliers and beads, why break my back and breathe in resin fumes if it’s only going to gather dust on a shelf.
I’m exhausted all the time and I’d have an easier time getting lemon juice from an orange than I have getting fictional words on paper.
All these things are things I love (including this silly little blog in this silly little site). But I’m getting nothing out of it. There’s a lot of time and effort going into this.
So, I’m gonna try and write that pretend fantasy novel. It’ll be available to read, probably chapter by chapter, for a $10 a year subscription. Unless you’re one of the 12 or so people whose names I’ve written down who get free access.
I’m gonna try to write “The Silent Secret” which will also be available via the subscription.
If you’re reading this in March 2023 (and the world as we know it hasn’t ended in WW3) and that subscription is still active and things are posted regularly then I haven’t given up, found a warm cave, and hibernated away from my problems and the world’s chaos.
Right now though, at basically the end of February 2022, I’m super sleepy. So. G’nite.
If you made it this far, as always, thanks for reading.
Don’t get the wrong idea, absolutely ZERO PERCENT of this has anything at all to do with me ending my life.
So, once or twice a week my kid’s teacher has her students write their numbers. This week it’s 401-500. The Kid struggles with it because “it’s boring”. Also the ADHD doesn’t help. I, however, have discovered ways of distracting her into thinking it’s a game. One such way was telling her I would write a story while she wrote her numbers. And I wanted to see how many she could write before I finished the story.
The random words were: Unicorn, Honey badger, and Potato. This is that story.
Once upon a time, Huey the Honey Badger was looking for dinner. He was running through the forest, his tummy was growling. He stepped in a hole abs rolled down a hill into a part of the forest he has never been in before.
When he picked himself up, he looked around. What he saw could only be described as magical! There was a pond sparking with glittery pink water. The trees were hung with mysterious and delectable looking fruit, and the gentle breeze smelled of cotton candy.
Huey was so hungry he couldn’t decide whether he was dreaming or not. Then from between the blue and yellow trees there stepped a beautiful creature he had never seen before. “Are you all right?” It asked. It was white with rainbow hair and tail, and silvery horn in it’s head.
“I’m okay,” Huey said. “Where am I?” He asked.
“You are in Candyland. I am Ursula the Unicorn.”
Just them Huey’s tum rumbled. “Oh dear,” said Ursula, “you sound hungry! But if you eat anything here you can never leave!” She said.
Huey was sad. He had friends back home.
“Oh wait!” Ursula said. She used her nose to push something toward him. “This plain brown thing is not of this land. Perhaps you can eat it and return again!”
Huey looked at the brown thing. “Oh that’s just a potato!” He said. “I love potatoes!” Huey munched on the potato filling his empty stomach. “That was satisfying, thank you!”
“You’re welcome!” Said Ursula. “If you leave you will be able to return and we can become friends!”
Huey found his way home but promised to return so he and Ursula could become friends. It took many days for him to find the hole he had tripped him, that caused him to fall down the hill into Candyland. But he made sure to take a tasty potato snack when he went!
And Huey the Honey Badger, and Ursula the Unicorn did become best friends!
I managed to drag it out for a bit so she could “beat me” and she finished writing the rest of her numbers!
This story is absolutely silly, completely bonkers, and total nonsense. But I kinda love it. If I had more time in my hands and the skill with which to do it, I would illustrate it!
Anyway, that’s my post for today, even if it’s after 10pm and I’m about to doze off! Have a good one, folks!
On my Facebook Group, I’ve begun an adventure I may never return from.
A #pretentfantasynovel was started when I decided that I needed to do something to keep my brain from going all mushy.
I rather enjoy polls. They’re only available as a post option in groups, on Facebook. At least on mobile. That’s the number one reason why I’ve kept the group. I get more interaction with people there than I do on my main page, which I’ve had for YEARS.
On my group I irregularly (if you know me then you know) post polls under #pretendfatasynovel topic. Each poll asks you to choose different elements of the story.
The Story So Far
Our main character is a woman who is reluctantly thrown into an adventure she regrets.
Our heroine has a talking animal or animal like sidekick.
This talking sidekick is animal that we’d see in real life. The talking bit is, so far, the only magic part about it!
TBH, those two polls about the animal sidekick are mildly confusing. So we’re going with a non-mythical creature who can talk.
Our main villain is in fact the last person you’d expect. This particular villain is going to be the worst one, but perhaps not the only one? It is a fantasy after all!
Our female hero, with a talking animal companion, who is a normal talking animal, carries a great sword as her weapon of choice! There’s a backstory to this, I just know it!
In every fantasy there’s always a constant background battle shadowing the active plot. Yes, we have a villain, but what’s the motivation? What’s the thing that’s threatening everyone, including the baddie? It’s some task that must be completed to prevent the end of times! We’ll have to find some sort of artifacts and gather them!
But this, the best part of it all. The fact that I got to use the names of all (twelve) of the people who have participated in the polls, with absolutely no promise of an actual story.
At the time of this post, the poll is still open. But I can see, unless a lot of people decide that they need to vote, there’s a clear winner.
Welcome to Arynthel
There will be more polls coming (now on Monday’s and Wednesday’s), including polls to help choose things about characters and other aspects of the story!
I’ll probably continue using the polls throughout the writing of the story.
But the people who have participated regularly in the polls up until this point(I know who they are) will be rewarded for their help. I don’t know if it will be the kind of reward they’d prefer but it’s what I have right now.
I’ll also post updates here on my site for anyone interested who doesn’t follow the polls, or my page. So stay tuned!
Going to try to make this a habit. But I’m not making any promises. We know how I do.
The fog was so thick you could practically cut it with a knife. Normal lights afforded you some visibility but brights turned the fog into a bright white wall of nothing that followed five feet in front of you as you drove.
So I kept my driving lights on avoiding brights despite my desire to improve visibility. The still lingering clouds turned what should have been early morning light into darkness, at least what I could tell through the fog.
Once in a while I passed a street light. It illuminated the rock wall, guardrails, and pavement. But it’s light couldn’t pierce further than the small area below it.
It had been raining for days, sometimes a drizzle sometimes a mist. But mostly just a downpour so heavy your wipers couldn’t keep up. But it had stopped long enough for there to be a few dry patches here and there.
There weren’t many other vehicles on the road aside from mine. As early as it was, on the weekend nonetheless, no one in their right mind would be out if they didn’t have to be. I would have much preferred a warm bed as opposed to a long dark damp road.
No, one wouldn’t expect another soul to be on these roads. but here I was traveling unhappily to work. I was admittedly tired, a little distracted by the thought of all I had to do. That and the fog was why I didn’t see it at first.
I’d been looking at the road ahead, as one should, and I glanced down for a moment to check my speed. It was that split second it took my mind to register what I’d seen, and look back up that startled me.
It’d been much further when I first saw it. A dark figure in the foggy distance. Backlit by a streetlight, just enough to make out a vaguely human shape. And it stood in the middle of the road.
I slammed on the breaks, the truck tires squealing on the asphalt, a wet spot on the road caused slight fishtailing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and opened them.
I expected to see whatever it was bathed in the glow of my headlights, or worse, splayed across the hood of my truck, despite hearing no sound of the sort. But instead, I saw nothing.
I blinked a few times, rubbed the sleep from my eyelids, and squinted into the thick fog.
There it was. Further ahead than where I’d imaged, despite the distance I’d traveled. It was as if it’d leapt ahead of me. But it was still there. Lingering.
I took a deep breath, composed myself, then let off the breaks and hit the gas, slower this time. I kept an eye on the road and an eye on the thing in front. As I drove it seems to remain just at the edge of the fog, as if it were moving along with me.
So I tested it. I picked up speed, so did it. When I slowed, it did too. And unlike most objects, when you were moving toward it in the distance that “grew” in size as you got closer, this did not. It remained the same size.
I slowed to a complete stop in the middle of the road, staring at it. I knew I only had about another mile and a half until I reached my destination, with one turn off. Until this point it has been a relatively straight stretch.
So I floored it.
I didn’t even think about it when I did it. Just put my foot in the gas abs gave it my all. The revved and the tires squealed again as I peeled out.
I wanted to see it move. To catch up with it. Wanted it to get bigger as I got closer. It did nothing. Until I looked away.
A porch light had come on, perhaps awoken by the roaring of my engine and squealing of tires and I glanced quickly toward the light, my attention drawn, and then back.
And there it was, ten feet in front of me, still black as nothingness, still backlit by… nothing.
I slammed on the brakes once again, almost locking them up, jerking the truck to a sudden stop. I should have been within feet of hitting it—had I wanted to hit it?—but when I opened my eyes, it was gone again.
I looked for it ahead of me. It had been maintaining its position in the middle of the road, this time when it leapt ahead it had practically flown away. I did not see it go, nor where it might have went. But it was gone.
People were looking out their windows now. I’d made it into downtown without realizing it. My abnormally reckless driving had woken some residents from their dreary morning slumber. And it had begun to look like morning. Sunlight was peaking trough breaks in clouds.
Perhaps the rain was done. Perhaps the sun would come out today. Perhaps the dark figure looming ahead had left to confuse and bewilder another unfortunate soul.
Let’s see, I changed job descriptions in my workplace. Was forced out of my management position due to “structural changes”. Then tension and stress led me to seek other opportunities within the building.
So I moved to a floor position, initially assuming it was going to be the same type of position I was in last time I was on the floor. Instead it came with a cynical manager, and a lot of extra duties. (Basically it’s a position I was interested in years ago but without the title).
I’m not mad. In fact I love my job. But there’s just a lot and I just have stress and mental health issues that prevent me from even feeling like I do a good job.
More responsibilities have been added in recent months. I also feel outnumbered as I’m surrounded by dudes. I don’t complain about the dudes. They’re good dudes. But. Well I’m a girl and they’re dudes.
There has also been a number of changes in not only my direct management but the overall management. My two leads have changed once for both positions, and we lost and then gained a manager. The cynical one moved. But I really think he just hated our Zone (area). But I don’t communicate with him about his feelings much so
I haven’t any significant complaints about him as a supervisor, and hope he’s enjoying his new zone.
My new supervisors seem to be doing a good job. I haven’t any complaints about them except A, who I’ve told this (in the nicest of ways lol), needs to grow up a little and he’ll go far with the company if he chooses. B (I just realize the letters work out especially in order of who started first lol) seems to be doing well as well, but A’s goofiness rubs off on others and also, again, they’re dudes. Also the other non-supervisor associate in my zone? DUDE.
They did add a much needed third associate to our team, but there’s talk of moving HER back out. Yes. There is another female on our team. Shes a very sweet girl and I enjoy working with her when I get the chance.
All in all there’s a lot expected of me and only about eight hours to do it in. I try really hard and I’m told I’m doing a good job so I’m trying to run with that.
Also I’m OLDER THAN ALL OF THEM.
The year began ok. In the first six months we took a family trip (my family and my sister’s family). We took the kids to a bounce place and the zoo. The zoo was meant to be the main attraction but those lazy bones preferred the bounce place.
I also bought my first vehicle. Technically it’s my second but this one I bought. My first was a Chevy Cobalt that I inherited after my husband got himself a new car. After driving that little car for many years, and growing up in rambling old trucks I grew to desire a truck for myself.
So the day I got my hair permed I was feeling super confident and impulsive and saw a truck online that I wanted.
Long story short the next day I didn’t get that one. But I got this one:
Ain’t she a beaut? Well, the next day the check engine light came on and it’s something apparently you can’t buy a part for so the light stays on.
In October we got in it and tried to start it and it wouldn’t turn over. We got the jumper cables out and there were sparks but after four tries she finally started.
When we arrived at our destination, the spouse told me to not turn it off. I didn’t want to leave it running as we were in a public park. We had no issues getting it to where we were going so I thought it’d be a good idea to try it.
She did not start back up. So I said let’s just do the thing we were gonna do (the key was stuck in the ignition but they couldn’t steal something that wouldn’t start). It only took us a few minutes to enjoy the Trunk or Treat. So we made the damp (cause it was rainy) trek to the dead truck.
Eventually some nice dudes
Saw our predicament and stopped to help us. Turns out it was all a bad battery terminal connection
The nice dudes gave my spouse a ride up to a very close auto parts store where they purchased the new terminal connection and returned to install it. The truck (which my husband calls “Sexy Rexy” started right up with no battery issues since.
After leaving work one day I started it up and about four new lights came on, relayed to power steering and four wheel drive and had me near tears all the way home. But when I got in it the next day to pick up my kid from school, the lights came on but when off after a few minutes. Never saw them again.
Toward the beginning of the year I—on a whim—paid for premium site subscription and domain for this website. I always wanted to do so but feared spending the money.
It hasn’t done me a lot of good doing it, I’ve not made a dime.
Same with all the money I spent on trying to make something out of nothing. A jewelry business out of something no one wanted. And YouTube. I made a video. One. Singular.
Actually I haven’t checked the views in a while hold on
46 views. Posted a month ago.
I have lots of big ideas. Lip balm. Nail balm. Resin creations, jewelry, writing. All kinds of nonsense.
Honestly I think a lot of my trying and failing and trying something else is just causing my mental health to sink further down.
I could have made this a lot shorter. To be honest most of my posts come to me on a whim and happen when they come to me. So I have little planning. I need to fix that.
So if you stuck it out and read the whole thing, good for you. I’m super proud lol.
I have some goals for 2022. Not big goals. Just Me Trying Harder to Be Better goals. Number one is to not put to high of expectations on myself, others, or anything that may or may not happen. Take it as it comes.